Sunday, April 23, 2006

The Relationship of the Medieval Man with His Church

Romanesque Architecture and Its Symbolism

INTRODUCTION

While searching for the origins of European Individualism, I was struck by the overwhelming evidence available describing a discovery of “self” among the intellectuals of the 11th and 12th centuries. Prior to this period people rarely considered self as an individual, but rather thought of self in relation to the collective. Historians pointed to the love letters exchanged between Heloise and her lover Abelard, the autobiography of Abbot Guibert of Nogent, and the exquisite poetry of Dante as examples of embracing one’s individuality. However, I became discontent with my findings. What of the peasants? While the sons of lords and ladies, and various leaders of the Church, began to discover themselves apart from the collective of society as they increased their learning and explored new opportunities of employment, the common people remained enslaved to old institutions, superstitions, and their own ignorance. At this point, I stumbled upon a quote that seemed so relevant to my concerns. Francois Villon, a medieval poet, penned this verse for his mother.

“I am a woman, poor and old,
Quite ignorant, I cannot read.
They showed me at my village church
A painted Paradise with harps
And Hell where the damned souls were boiled,
One gives me joy, the other frightens me ...”(1)

I became fascinated by the relationship of the physical church in the 11th and 12th century with the peasant laity. The images on display inside the medieval church, including the actual building itself, whether obvious or symbolic, spoke more powerfully to the congregation than any sermon they would hear within those massive walls. This became my objective: to discover how the church of the 11th and 12th centuries shaped the faith of the people through these visual symbols?

I refocused my attentions from the minds of intellectuals to those of the everyday commoner. I began to understand their insecurities and fears, as well as, their need for visual affirmation that God was on their side, fighting the powers of darkness. Aware of people’s illiteracy, the church catered to the people’s sensitivity to visual images and built churches strong and militant, filling the interior with visual reminders of the constant spiritual battle from the structure of the building itself, to the sculptures decorating the capitals of the columns, to the images painted on the walls. The church’s architecture, in addition to the paintings within, served to mold the faith of the common people when words were unable to do so.


THE MEDIEVAL MIND

Due to widespread illiteracy, the written word carried little significance. As a matter of fact, Jeffery Singman, author of Daily Life in Medieval Europe, noted that the written word fell secondary to that of the spoken word. Prior to 1500, legal documents merely recorded an oral agreement. Ballads and epic poems were only written down long after the words had been set to memory. Instead, Singman concluded that the culture of the Middle Ages revolved around the visual, actual objects that one could see, hear, and touch, even smell.(2)

Events, places, people, and actual objects connected together in the minds of the medieval man to create “a network of relationships,”(3) a concept vital to the lives of peasants and lords alike. This concept can readily be seen in the relationships found in a typical medieval village. A commoner associated his family with the house he was born in, as well as the land surrounding it. The view of the manor house further reminded him of his relationship as serf to his lord. Even the peasant’s calendar revolved around the relationship of sporadic holy days, rather than the concept of weeks and months. However, one of the strongest relationships a peasant might have with his village was with the church, not only with the parish priest and the congregation, but the stone building itself.


THE MEDIEVAL FAITH

The Christianity of rural 12th century Europe remained rather barbaric. During the Dark Ages, missionaries and Roman armies often encountered tribes possessing a religion steeped in magic and fear. Recognizing the advantages available to them should they convert, many tribes agreed to be duly baptized in order that they may either appease attacking armies or gain the favor of Christendom. Oftentimes, these tribes would mesh their pagan religion with that of their new Christian religion, at times, merely changing the name. Friedrich Heer, author of The Medieval World: Europe 1100-1350, notes that by 1100 the popular religion of medieval Europe was a combination of “four religious cultures: primitive folk religion, Gallo-Roman polytheism, and two kinds of Christianity, the late Roman and Celtic varieties.” This mixture of beliefs allowed the people to retain their previous pagan practices with only a name change here and there. For instance, Pagan gods were given the status of sainthood. Worshippers supplemented their prayers with the magic of the old ways and built their new churches on the sites of former pagan houses of worship. Furthermore, the church calendar submitted to the pagan calendar, continuing to revolve around the traditional feasts that had ruled their lives for centuries.(4)

However, not all of 12th century Christendom worshipped in this semi-barbaric manner. Guibert de Nogent was furious at the absurdity in which these churches still practiced their pagan ways but ascribed them to Christianity. In his Treatise on Relics, Guibert asked, concerning the canonizing of saints (for whom there were no ecclesiastical records),

“what shall I say of such as are daily sainted and set up in rivalry to them, by the common folk of our towns and villages? Let them tell me how they can expect a man to be their patron saint concerning whom they know not even that which is to be known? For you shalt find no record of him but his mere name. Yet, while the clergy hold their peace, old wives and herds of base wenches chant the lying legends of such patron saints at their looms and their broidering-frames; and, if a man refute their words, they will attack him in defence [sic] of these fables not only with words but even with their distaffs. Who but a sheer madman, therefore, would call on those to intercede for him concerning whom there is not the merest suspicion left in men's minds to tell what they once were?”(5)

In addition, there was the issue of the collection of relics and their supposed magical powers. Rumors of healings and miracles as a result of contact with a relic spread across Europe among pilgrims. Jacques de Vitry bishop of Tusculum, born in 1180, spread one such rumor. The story depicts two crippled beggars who were healed against their will.

“[W]hen the body St. Martin was borne in procession it healed all the infirm who [had gone] blind, Now there were near the church two wandering beggars, one began to converse together and said, ‘See, the body of St. Martin is now being borne in procession, and if it catches us we shall be healed immediately, and no one in the future will give us any aims, but we shall have to work and labor with our own hands.', Then the blind man said to the lame, ‘Get up on my shoulders because I am strong, and you who see well can guide me.’ They did this; but when they wished to escape, the procession overtook them; and since, on account of the throng, they were not able to get away, they were healed against their will.”(6)

It is doubtful that such an occurrence actually happened. However, the above story shows the Medieval person was still drawn to the supernatural magic of his old faith. Guibert continued his scolding of Christians of the 12th Century for the lies and greed that came from collecting the relics. At one point two different churches boasted having the head of John the Baptist in their possession. Would the clergy have their followers believe that John the Baptist was in fact two-headed?(7)

Those who clung to the popular religion of the time, not only clung to their former pagan rituals but also continued to live in constant fear. Could one ever achieve enough merit to solicit the grace of God? The 13th century Franciscan friar, Berthold of Regensburg, once assessed that “the chances of damnation as 100,000 to 1.”(8) Their faith in God demanded obedience, not only adherence to the laws of God but also to the laws of kings. “It was a powerful law binding man in fear and love ...,”(9) states Heer. Because Medieval man made associations through relationships, peasants often relied upon nature to define their standing with God: if the crop was good that year, God was pleased with them.

Spiritual warfare was the dominant theme in the church of the 12th century. Even the ceremony of the mass symbolized this cosmic struggle. The priest, garbed in his vestments, represented Christ’s agent on earth, robed in the armor of salvation, prepared to do battle with the Evil One. Honorius of Autun, 12th Biblical expositionist, viewed Mass as “a judicial tribunal where God judged the sinning people, with the devil as prosecutor and the priest as defending counsel.”(10) The clearest representation, however, of this conflict, was in the church building itself.


THE MEDIEVAL CHURCH

It is difficult for anyone in the 21st century to comprehend the importance and significance of the 12th century church building in a medieval town or village. Gervase of Canterbury reported that when Christ Church suffered severe damage due to a fire in 1174,

“The people were astonished that the Almighty should suffer such things, and maddened with excess of grief and perplexity, they tore their hair and beat the walls and pavement of the church with their heads and hands, blaspheming the Lord and His saints, the patrons of the church; and many, both of laity and monks, would rather have laid down their lives than that the church should have so miserably perished.”(11)

Churches were often the only stone building for miles. People from kings to peasants still lived in dwellings made predominately of wood. A town’s church steeple served as a landmark for weary travelers making their way home. As William of St. Thierry approached the town of Clairvaux, he exclaimed upon seeing the town’s church, “At the first glance as you entered Clairvaux by descending the hill you could see that it was a temple of God; and the still, silent valley bespoke, in the modest simplicity of its buildings, the unfeigned humility of Christ's poor.”(12) On Sundays during services, villagers were able to escape their dingy wooden hovels, and revel in the church’s magnificent grandeur compared to their own humble dwellings. The building itself was the location for public events and services, such as town meetings and an infirmary. Is it any wonder the building of a new town church would bring the excitement of transformation to the community, not only physically but also economically and socially. Construction would provide jobs and bring in craftsmen from other countries, potentially improving the town’s economy through trade.

The architectural style of 12th century churches is known as Romanesque (Roman-like). Massive walls, rounded arches, and few windows characterized the typical village church. In the pattern of the ancient Roman basilica, the layout contained a central nave running the length of the rectangular building. Two, sometimes four, aisles were positioned on the sides of the nave. Some architects embellished this simple plan by adding a transept, an addition to the building that made the shape of the layout like that of a cross. The addition of two towers, one on each end of the transept further embellished the transept. Art Historian, E. H. Gombrich, concludes that “[t]hese powerful and almost defiant piles of stone erected by the Church in lands of peasants and warriors who had only recently been converted from their heathen way of life seem to express the very idea of the Church Militant--the idea, that is, that here on earth it is the task of the Church to fight the powers of darkness till the hour of triumph dawns on doomsday.”(13)


MEDIEVAL SYMBOLISM

The church building represented God’s dwelling place on earth, much like the Old Testament Tabernacle or Solomon’s Temple. The church’s thick, massive walls gave it the appearance of being a fortress, God’s stronghold--protecting his children, giving them peace, security, and joy, while warding off the attacks of His enemies. Here evil spirits were exorcized as depicted in the twisted forms of beasts and monsters writhing in pain on the capitals on top of the church’s columns and additional sculptures to be found in the interior and exterior of the building.


The Romanesque St. Trophime church in Arles, France contains an illustrative sculpture relief above the church’s front doors. Christ is depicted as the Almighty Judge of the world sitting upon a throne supported by the four creatures of Ezekiel 1:4-12 (angels bearing the resemblance of a man, lion, eagle, and ox). Christ has separated “the wheat from the tares” and has condemned the sinners to their damnation as depicted on Christ’s left by naked figures, chained, whose expressions are frozen in panicked screams. On his right, the righteous look on in bliss at being accepted by their Maker. Below the throne stand saints marked with their individual symbols ready to intercede on behalf of those entering the church’s doors.(14)

Realism in the artwork was not the goal of the craftsmen. Instead the relationship between each of the figures above the church doors in Arles to the whole of the illustration was what mattered the most. Observers were to approach the house of God with a sense of trembling and awe as they entered into the presence of the Holy One, the Judge of life and death, able to bring both terror and joy. Morris Bishop, author of The Middle Ages, suggests that exaggerated proportions that artists used like those of the distorted figures on their way to Hell served to bring about the emotion necessary to inspire this awe.(15)

The interiors of Romanesque churches were alive with color and symbolism. The towns that could afford it, covered the church’s interior walls with tapestries and paintings. Jacques Le Goff, a scholar of the Middle Ages, in his book Medieval Civilization analyzes the symbolism to be found in the different colors and objects displayed in the interior decorations. The colorful precious stones encrusting church alters ignited the understanding of the riches of God. Some were even thought to hold special powers, for instance, the yellow and green stones might cure jaundice and liver diseases. Red stones were thought to cure bleeding disorders. Objects portrayed in sculptures or paintings and tapestries, carried the meanings of deeper relationships with the supernatural world. A cluster of grapes often symbolized Christ shedding his blood for mankind, bringing to mind the juice being squeezed from the grapes as they were crushed in the wine press. Le Goff states that even animals represented significant relationships. The ostrich that leaves her eggs unattended in the sand was associated with sinners neglecting their duties to God. The dog symbolized either uncleanness, or as hunting lords preferred, ultimate fidelity. Images of mythical beasts were always intended to be demonic, however the symbolism of the unicorn was uncertain. The unicorn could either represent such the virtue of purity or the vice of hypocrisy.(16)


CONCLUSION

The images displayed inside Romanesque churches told the viewers stories without words. Pope Gregory the Great of the 6th century praised medieval artists, declaring that ‘painting can do for the illiterate what writing does for those who can read.”(17) Words ignite understanding, passion, and feelings. For the first time in the history of art there was a movement that could achieve the same results as words, without being chained to realistic representation. As Gombrich reveals: “the Egyptians had largely drawn what they knew to exist, the Greeks what they saw, in the Middle Ages the artist also learned to express in his pictures what he felt.”(18)

For the 12th Century peasant, life was filled with fear and uncertainty. Le Goff suggests that there was only one cure for man’s feelings of insecurity: “to rely on the solidarity of the group, of the communities of which one formed a part, and to avoid breaching this solidarity by ambition or derogation.”(19) The common man had a long journey ahead of him before he could find freedom in a balance of individuality and community. In a way, the church prolonged that journey by continuing the superstitions of Europe’s old pagan religions. It would take another four to five hundred years before the Protestant Reformation would sweep across the continent, embracing the common man, and showing them the way to freedom from fear through a personal relationship with Christ, not only as Judge but as Friend and Savior. It was at this time that men and women of all backgrounds were able to hear and read in their own language the words spoken through the images represented in their church buildings.

God is the loving ruler of the world. He made it, and He made us to rule and care for the world--under His authority.

Revelation 4:11
“Worthy are you, our Lord and God,
to receive glory and honor and power,
for you created all things,
and by your will they existed and were created.”

When we look at the world, however, we can see that things are not the way they should be. This is because we reject God as our ruler by trying to run our lives without Him.

Romans 3:10-13
10 as it is written:
“None is righteous, no, not one;
11 no one understands;
no one seeks for God.
12 All have turned aside; together they have become worthless;
no one does good,
not even one.”
13 “Their throat is an open grave;
they use their tongues to deceive.”
“The venom of asps is under their lips.”

Note this carefully: Some people rebel quietly by just ignoring God. Others rebel more visibly by doing things that everyone recognizes as sinful. But either way, it’s rebellion against God.

God cares enough about us to take our rebellion seriously and to call us to account.


Hebrews 9:27
And just as it is appointed for man to die once, and after that comes judgment,

God’s punishment for rebellion is death and judgment. this might sound hard, and many people don’t like to believe that God could feel so strongly about rebellion. But justice isn’t justice unless it brings sin to account. It’s simply wrong to turn a blind eye.

The bad news is very bad, but the good news is wonderful. God has provided a remedy for the disastrous position in which we find ourselves.

God loved the world so much that He sent His Son into the world--Jesus Christ. Jesus obeyed God completely. He was the one person who deserved no punishment. He lived a wonderful life of selfless giving, truth, and integrity, but He was executed as a common criminal. By dying on the cross, He, the perfect Man, took our punishment and brought us free forgiveness.


1 Peter 3:18
For Christ also suffered once for sins, the righteous for the unrighteous, that he might bring us to God, being put to death in the flesh but made alive in the spirit,

The death of Jesus is not the end of the story. Before He died, Jesus said He would come back from the grave after three days. At the time nobody believed Him. But then ...

God accepted Jesus’ death as payment in full for our sins and raised Him from the dead. The risen Jesus is now what humanity was always meant to be: God’s ruler of the world. Jesus has conquered death and now gives new life to us. One day He will return to judge the world.


Philippians 2:9-11
9 Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, 10 so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, 11 and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.

By rising from the dead, Jesus proved once and for all that He did indeed have all the power and authority He claimed to have as the Son of God. That leaves us with two options ...

Our way [to live]
Reject God as ruler
Try to run our own lives our own way
Result:
Condemned by God
Facing death and judgment

God’s way [to live]
Submit to Jesus as Lord
Rely on Jesus’ death and resurrection
Result:
Forgiven by God
Given eternal life
(20)

John 3:36
Whoever believes in the Son has eternal life; whoever does not obey the Son shall not see life, but the wrath of God remains on him.

Today there is a sense that the church has swept to the other spectrum and has overemphasized individualism resulting in a rather man-centered Gospel. Instead, let us turn in humble adoration to our God who called us out of fear and uncertainty because of His own love and not any merit to be found in us. As new creations,

2 Corinthians 5:17
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.

let us serve Christ and others out of thankfulness for what Christ has done. As the body of Christ, let us work together in unity for the cause of our Savior and Lord.

Romans 12:3-8
3 For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned. 4 For as in one body we have many members, and the members do not all have the same function, 5 so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another. 6 Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them: if prophecy, in proportion to our faith; 7 if service, in our serving; the one who teaches, in his teaching; 8 the one who exhorts, in his exhortation; the one who contributes, in generosity; the one who leads, with zeal; the one who does acts of mercy, with cheerfulness.

Let our lives (corporately and individually) image God, that man may see our good works and glorify our Father, which is in Heaven (Matthew 5:16).


Endnotes:

(1) Quoted in E. H. Gombrich, The Story of Art (London: Phaidon Press, 16th ed. 1995), 177.

(2) Jeffery L. Singman, Daily Life in Medieval Europe (Westport, Conn.: Greenwood Press, 1999), 224.

(3) Ibid.

(4) Friedrich Heer, The Medieval World: Europe 110-1350 (New York: Welcome Rain, 1961), 35.

(5) Guibert de Nogent, “On Relics” in C.G. Coulton, ed, Life in the Middle Ages, (New York: Macmillan, c.1910), Vol I, 15-22 (www.fordham.edu/halsall/sbook.html).

(6) Jacques de Vitry, “The Relics of St. Martin Healed Two Beggars Against Their Will,” in University of Pennsylvania. Dept. of History: Translations and Reprints from the Original Sources of European history, published for the Dept. of History of the University of Pennsylvania. (Philadelphia, University of Pennsylvania Press [1897?-1907?]). Vol II, No 4, pp. 11-14 (www.fordham.edu/halsall/sbook.html).

(7) Guibert de Nogent, (www.fordham.edu/halsall/sbook.html).

(8) Jacques Le Goff, Medieval Civilization , trans. by Julia Barrow (Oxford: Blackwell Publishers, 1990), 325.

(9) Heer, 35.

(10) Heer, 36.

(11) Gervase of Canterbury, “Architects at Work,” in Norman F. Cantor, ed., The Medieval Reader (New York: HarperCollins Publisher, 1994), 172.

(12) William of St. Thierry, “William of St. Thierry: A Description of Clairvaux, c. 1143” in Frederic Austin Ogg, ed., A Source Book of Mediaeval History: Documents Illustrative of European Life and Institutions from the German Invasions to the Renaissance, (New York, 1907, reprinted by Cooper Square Publishers (New York), 1972), pp. 258-260 (www.fordham.edu/halsall/sbook.html).

(13) Gombrich, 173.

(14) Pictured and described in Gombrich, 176-77.

(15) Morris Bishop, The Middle Ages (Boston: Houghton Mifflin Co., 1968), 275.

(16) Descriptions of symbolisms in Le Goff, 332-33.

(17) Quoted in Gombrich, 167.

(18) Grombrich, 165.

(19) LeGoff, 325.

(20) "Two Ways to Live" (http://matthiasmedia.com.au/2wtl/) adapted by Barbara Hughes in Disciplines of a Godly Woman (Wheaton: Crossway Books, 2001), 29-32.

Saturday, April 22, 2006

misc.

Your Theme Song is Born to Be Wild by Steppenwolf

"I like smoke and lightning
Heavy metal thunder
Racin' with the wind
And the feelin' that I'm under"

A total independent spirit, you can't be held down or fenced in.
You crave the feeling of wind on your face... and totally freedom.


Can I just say that beautiful things move me deeply! Bavaria, Pride and Prejudice, Anthropologie stores, and the kitchen and home decor section at Target all do the trick.

two blue angels


2 bloo aendgells dgust floo ohfehr mai uhpahrtmehnt. The Navy's in town.

Friday, April 21, 2006

what would be the perfect ... ?


What would be the perfect way to celebrate my birthday? Hmm ... eating strawberries and listening to Late Tuesday while on the mission field.

Is it possible?

I submit that it is!

i'm sooooooooooooo curious


I'm sorry ... but I've got to have some feedback about THIS!

brian regan


I remember when my guy pals in college would throw in odd statements here and there during lunch and then they'd all bust up laughing. Always one to enjoy a laugh, myself, I was frustrated. They made no sense. Until that blessed day when I heard it for myself.

Here's the man in action.

Thursday, April 20, 2006

single and taking surveys

Friends know immediately when I become passionate about something new. Some have wrongly labled my enthusiasm for new things as "fickle." EERRRRRR!!! I still have the same old passions and interests but God uses the new ones to further define the old.

For instance ... this past weekend I changed my topic for my systematic theology paper from "the problem of evil" to "single woman-image of God." The prescribed parameters for the format of the paper were very strict: 8-9 pages. What?!! But there's so much more that I want to say! My thoughts began to form into chapters as I studied and I soon realized that the only thing left to do was ... write a book. The book will deal with Single people within the local church, how they are treated, how they ought to be treated, is marriage the more godly way of Christian living, what role does community play in their lives, and living out one's calling day by day as a Single.

What would you want to see covered in such a book?

As summer approaches I become more and more excited. The Lord has given me a passion for the Pacific Northwest. I have been given the opportunity to go out there this summer to assist a body of believers. I am uncertain of my formal responsibilities as of yet, however, my imagination is going wild with the possibilities. One desire of mine is to conduct a weekend seminar for the ladies in the congregation (and teenage girls) on God-centered Evangelism, being relational in the community, and being able to share and live one's faith in a post-modern, Bible-illiterate world. A section of Will Metzger's book, Tell the Truth (must read), provides a survey of sorts to take in the spiritual health of those in the community. The questions are relatively non-threatening, allowing the survey taker to feel free to share their own personal beliefs in regards to spiritual matters, the Bible, and the man, Jesus Christ, with the hope that I would, in turn, be able to share the Way, the Truth, and the Life with those I encounter. I would love to incorporate this into a formal study of women in the Pacific Northwest, particularly if the Lord is calling me to minister in the region long term.

Thoughts?

Walter and Hildy

Quotes from His Girl Friday:

Walter Burns: There's been a lamp burning in the window for ya, honey.
Hildy Johnson: No thanks - I jumped out that window a long time ago.

Hildy Johnson: If I ever lay my two eyes on you again, I'm gonna walk right up to you and hammer on that monkeyed skull of yours 'til it rings like a Chinese gong!

Walter Burns: Why Hildy! you've got the old fashioned idea that divorce is something that lasts forever, 'til death do us part.' Why divorce doesn't mean anything now days Hildy, just a few words muttered over you by a judge.

Sunday, April 16, 2006

Christ is risen! We are risen, indeed!



Resurrection

O God of my Exodus,
Great was the joy of Israel's sons,
when Egypt died upon the shore
Far greater the joy
when the Redeemer's foe lay crushed in the dust.
Jesus strides forth as the victor,
conqueror of death, hell, and all opposing might;
He bursts the bands of death,
tramples the powers of darkness down,
and lives for ever.
He, my gracious surety,
apprehended for payment of my debt,
comes forth from the prison house of the grave
free, and triumphant over sin, Satan, and death.
Show me herein the proof that his vicarious offering is accepted,
that the claims of justice are satisfied,
that the devil's sceptre is shivered,
that his wrongful throne is levelled.
Give me the assurance that in Christ I died,
in him I rose,
in his life, in his victory I triumph,
in his ascension I shall be glorified.
Adorable Redeemer,
thou who wast lifted up upon a cross
art ascended to highest heaven.
Thou, who as Man of sorrows was crowned with thorns,
art now as Lord of life wreathed with glory.
Once, no shame more deep than thine,
no agony more bitter,
no death more cruel.
Now, no exaltation more high,
no life more glorious,
no advocate more effective.
Thou art in the triumph [vehicle] leading captive
thine enemies behind thee.
What more could be done than thou hast done!
Thy death is my life,
thy resurrection my peace, thy ascension my hope,
thy prayers my comfort.

Arthur Bennett, ed., The Valley of Vision: a Collection of Puritan Prayers & Devotions (Edinburgh, Scotland: Banner of Truth, 1975), 86-87.

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Wonder Woman takes a break


I will not be officially posting anything new until April 16th.

Feel free to roam the archives. They're full of fascinating stories of donut fights in the Imperial Cafe in Prague, controversial articles about relationships between genders (a favorite with commentors), funny videos, etc. Normally the comments are the best part, so don't neglect those.

the drama of why i stopped wearing glasses

black dress, white socks, and Purim

in the dark with a guy

pulling a Ruth

dodging donuts in a German accent

my home

beware of hairy eyeballs

the controversies begin

crashing duck

mystery tea cup

dumb jewelry commercials

the beginning of the babble

spargel appreciation day and what she is not

Feel free to meander through my pictures or my videos.

And for all you lurkers out there who frequently visit the site, take this opportunity to post a comment. Ask a question. Start your own controversy. Heck. Have fun. I'll be by to respond to comments every so often.

Sunday, March 05, 2006



Anywhere is walking distance, if you've got the time.
Stephen Wright

Walking those streets I had the feeling of having been translated to some death-stricken alien planet.
Wilfred Burchett

For me optimism is two lovers walking into the sunset arm in arm. Or maybe into the sunrise - whatever appeals to you.
Krzysztof Kieslowski

If you haven't got it. Fake it! Too short? Wear big high heels, but do practice walking.
Victoria Beckham



Me, I'm good at nothing but walking on the set with a pretty dress.
Sandra Dee

It's like threading a needle while walking on a water bed.
Phil Donahue

I can remember walking as a child. It was not customary to say you were fatigued. It was customary to complete the goal of the expedition.
Katharine Hepburn

Walking is a man's best medicine.
Hippocrates



Don't threaten me with love, baby. Let's just go walking in the rain.
Billie Holiday

Thirty was so strange for me. I've really had to come to terms with the fact that I am now a walking and talking adult.
C. S. Lewis

Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling in at night. I miss you like hell.
Edna St. Vincent Millay

All truly great thoughts are conceived by walking.
Friedrich Nietzsche



I just use my muscles as a conversation piece, like someone walking a cheetah down 42nd Street.
Arnold Schwarzenegger

If my critics saw me walking over the Thames they would say it was because I couldn't swim.
Margaret Thatcher

I love walking in the rain, 'cause then no-one knows im crying
unknown

I bet the main reason the police keep people away from a plane crash is they don't want anybody walking in and lying down in the crash stuff, then, when somebody comes up, act like they just woke up and go, "What was THAT?!
Jack Handy



It is no use walking anywhere to preach unless our walking is our preaching.
St. Francis of Assisi

Who will tell whether one happy moment of love or the joy of breathing or walking on a bright morning and smelling the fresh air, is not worth all the suffering and effort which life implies.
Erich Fromm

The first thing a television viewer realizes when watching a golf tournament is how the sport tends to make one inclined to whisper and avoid sudden movements, such as walking to the refrigerator during a possible birdie putt.
Peter Alfano

Don't let people drive you crazy when you know it's in walking distance.
unknown



BUT then again ... riding bikes is fun.

Friday, March 03, 2006

i'll puncture your head and suck your brains out

As a Senior in college, I played the role of Miss Spider from James and the Giant Peach. Ah, fond memories ... rolling about a psychadellic stage, screaming frantically as the peach "plunged" to the sea below, glaring hungrily at James who was never sure if I was going to eat him, etc.

Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Monday, February 27, 2006

perfectly agreeable

Harriet Smith: I do so wonder, Miss Woodhouse, that you are not married.
Emma: I have no inducements to marry.

Emma: I love John .... I hate John. [her brother-in-law]

Mr. Knightley: Maybe it is our imperfections which make us so perfect for one another.

Mars Hill spoof

Sunday, February 26, 2006

age ... a passing acquaintance


I've never really been on friendly terms with my age ... but neither have the terms been unfriendly. More like "How do you do?" when passing on the street terms. It's like those moments when you see a fellow blogger on the sidewalk and you think ... "I know I must know them from somewhere," ... so you give a slight nod when you make eye contact when passing and then wrack your brain afterwards wondering how you know the person.

Today my age and I intersected paths when I was in the dressing room at Target. It's an awkward place to meet. The hall is narrow and the stalls few in number. We actually almost nearly collided. I began a polite apology but then I looked up ... and it was her. It was like the time I actually met Donna ... she was walking out and I was walking in ...

"Hey, aren't you ... ?"

"Yeah ..."

"It's good to meet you."

Eye contact was made. Recognition. And then pleasantries. But when you walk away ... you're never the same. You're a better person because a stranger now has a face, a voice, a body and you have a friend.

And I will never be the same. Because today, my age and I finally met. We just sort of caught up with each other. It was bound to happen, I suppose. I looked at her. She looked at me. Not much was said. But the moment seemed like an eternity. We nodded and stepped aside, allowing the other to pass.

I'm quite shaken by the encounter, actually. I'll never be the same.

"the mother-of-all muck"



I grew up in the village in the picture above. Sigh. ... the memories ... roller skating, May Day, hiding in fields, "slide-for-life", the produce market, the pizza restaurant, the public pool, cross-country skiing ... I knew every corner of this quaint little "dorf". There was this one time ...

Well ... anyway ... nothing like this every happened in MY village ... but it could have ... and sometimes it smelled like it had.

Thursday, February 23, 2006

bug man to the rescue


Tonight I met a friend at Logos and then we went to go see a play.

Imagine sitting in your older sister's room as she's getting ready for a date and listening to her talk on and on and on about how she was ready to start dating again, and how she met this guy, and how the Romanian Mafia was laundering money through the restaurant she was running, but then they find out that she's been stealing money from them to pay taxes to the Feds, and then the Mafia is after her, and ... And you just sit there and listen to her.

But don't worry, the story finally ends, because she's going to go drink coffee in the kitchen with the "bug guy" who ends up being a lawyer who convinces the police to arrest the Romanians, so THAT'S how he knew the Columbia law professor gay guy her mother set her up on a blind date with, and she did say that he had looked cute when she first met him at the Buddhist Book Readers lawn party (even though he talked about bugs most of the time).

Not recommended for men (you'd want to shoot your brains out).

sentimental drivvle


I refuse to watch such sentimental drivvle as The Notebook and Titanic.

I, furthermore, refuse to afflict myself by viewing any movie starring Hugh Grant, Nicholas Cage, and John Travolta.

Blech!

slimy.

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

practice your German



How come Germans can't pronounce "th"?

Self Parking Car
Watch it now on StupidVideos!

Sunday, February 19, 2006

Mansfield Park


That it is possible to weep at a mere holding of hands ... I never thought it possible.

Saturday, February 18, 2006

a big horse with horns


Canada is so misunderstood. Click here .

listen carefully

You know you wish you had listened more carefully when the last three words of the song on the radio are ...

sesame seed bun.

i almost called her Debbie

Yesterday, I missed my Mommy.

We were talking on the phone as I was running some errands and sharing with each other as we normally do. Of course, she's my mother and gives all sorts of motherly wisdom and advice. But more often than not, she's my dearest girlfriend. We bounce ideas off of each other in regards to ministry, theology, photography, and friendships. She's just as open to critique as I am. We share our weakness and call each other out to pursue more godly living.

But yesterday, I was so swept away by our friendship and my heart was broken by an experience she was going through that in a moment of passion I almost called my mother by her first name.

weird.

Have I ever told you how much I adore my parents?

Friday, February 17, 2006

it kills

Do not watch this clip if you like cats. Seriously. You REALLY don't want to watch this. You know what curiosity does ...

That's my disclaimer.

If you do ... and you like cats ... tense up the muscles around your stomach ... I found that to be helpful.

Thursday, February 16, 2006

Spargel Appreciation Day - 02/14/06


The first annual Spargel Appreciation Day was a great success. Handfuls of Southern Seminary students proudly paraded around campus with their token spear of Asparagus in they hands, in their suit coat pocket, in their headband, or poking out of their bookbags. Others not aware of the festive holiday flagged down the instigator of the day and wanted to know what it was all about.

"Well, let me tell you a little about the history. It all began ... two days ago."

Since I was not permitted to take part in an alternate holiday that generally occurs on the same day of the year, I was determined not to be left out. I would not roam the campus, SADdened by my single status ... what could I do? What could I do for those who may also feel left out? Then, out of partial inspiration from a friend, I determined to create my own holiday. No longer would February 14th brand unmarried individuals with a scarlet "S". There was no need for singles to mope around campus ... especially, when they had a new reason to celebrate.

Spargel Appreciation Day!

(Spargel is the German word for "Asparagus".)

So the night of the 13th, I sat in my living room preparing little goodies too hand out to my friends. Images of signing lame valentine cards with pictures of Daffy Duck on them flooded my memory. Shame for having not had the innovation to think of getting my mom to make individualized cakes for each of my classmates for the 5th grade class Valentine party tugged at my heart as I remembered not being the one with the coolest cards or treats.

No, tomorrow would be different. People would remember February, 14, 2006 and smile. Each time they ate Asparagus after that monumental date, they would say, "Back in '06 there was a girl at the seminary who passed out spears of Asparagus with red bows tied around them. Each one had a tag with a Fun Fact on it. It was weird. But memorable." And then they will sink into a daydream of remembrance.

Happy SAD!

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

four things i would love to do

Dance of the Gypsies

Learn flamenco from a professional dancer in Granada. The private lesson takes place in a cave that was inhabited by gypsies, the originators of the flamenco, as far back as the 15th century-the ideal setting for this dance. Tapas, sangria, and live guitar and drum accompaniment will keep your feet moving. Cost: $400. Source: Virginia Irurita (see No. 46)









Diplomatic Dining

Have dinner with the U.S. ambassador and his art-enthusiast wife in their palace home in Prague, a 1920s architectual gem filled with art and antiques. Conversation may range from opera to politics, or from the life of a diplomat to the city's best sights. Cost: from $100, depending on the menu. Source: Martha Ganghen, Sterling Travel, Atlanta (800-447-2799; martha@sterlingtvl.com; sterlingtvl.com).







Go Racing with the Queen

View the Royal Ascot Races from a private box in the grandstand overlooking the Royal Box (the queen and her entourage attend daily, arriving by carriage with footmen in gold livery). The entire site has been renovated for 2006, and you'll have access to the horse paddocks as well. Cost: $2900 - $3940. Source: Susie Worthy (see No. 32).










Your Broadway Debut

If you're gaga about the Great White Way, a small fortune can get you on stage. Spend the afternoon with actors, singers, and dancers from your favorite show, attending costume fittings and rehearsals in preparation for your unforgetable debut--in a walk-on role. Cost $30,000 and up, depending on the show. Source: Kitt Garrett, Discover New York with Kitt Garrett, New York City (212-370-1319; sales@dnykg.com; dnykg.com).

Williams, Brook. "Experiences That Only Insiders Can Deliver" in Conde Nast Traveller . December 2005.

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

husbands, spend some quality time with your wives

not from my secret lover in Venezuela

(my flowers)

Every year I receive a gorgeous bouquet of roses aound this time of year. One of my friends in college even caught me crying when I got it one year. So beautiful. Not so much the flowers themselves ... but the beauty of the love my father has shown me my whole life.

Daddykins,

from the little girl who you tickled till she wet herself, the kid who when she started something you finished it (water fight?), the awkward girl who you told every Sunday that she looked beautiful, the grown up girl who is so appreciative of the love you share with her, displaying the love that God the Father has for His own. Thank you for the flowers.

Love,
Sweetie

Monday, February 13, 2006

something besides chocolate



Perhaps you should get your sweetheart something besides chocolates this year.

why send a valentine?


You can't help but smile while watching Hoops and Yoyo. Click here for some Valentine cheer.

(ugh! i can't believe i just typed that! that was SO lame.)

Sunday, February 12, 2006

she's not your girlfriend ... what is she?


She’s not your girlfriend. But she is your friend.

She’s not your mom. But she is your sister in Christ.

She’s not a seat-filler. She’s got her own seat to fill.

She’s not your best friend. You’ve already got one.

She’s not your conscience. You’ve got one of those, too.

She’s not your day planner. Your aunt gave you one of those for Christmas.

She’s not your Jeannie in a Bottle. She’s a vulnerable human being who makes mistakes and likes to feel appreciated.

She’s not a damsel-in-distress. She’s a young woman who out of necessity has become independent.

… Yet she longs for someone to lead,

someone with a plan,

someone who desires her,

someone who appreciates her,

someone to run life’s race with,

someone to help as Eve was created to be the helper,

someone who’s not always right but she’d still abide by his decisions because he is her leader,

someone who will drive her crazy with his bad habits and she will drive him crazy with hers but they will be used of God to sanctify each other,

someone who will show her how the Church ought to relate to Christ by treating her like Christ treats the Church,

someone … she needs.

She’s not your girlfriend … What is she?

If she’s your friend, be honest.

If she’s your sister in Christ, be upright and don’t take her for granted.

If you use her to fill that empty spot in your life while waiting for that special someone to come along, it’s not fair to her.

If you’ve been treating her like a best friend, it’s not her place to fill.

If you’ve been depending on her to be your conscience, she can’t. She struggles with her own.

If you expect her to fill your schedule, it’s a waste of your time and hers.

If you have treated her like a Jeannie in a Bottle, she is tired and worn and you need to set her free.

If you expect her to play the damsel-in-distress, SLAY THE DRAGON AND SWEEP HER OFF HER FEET!!!

(picture from this weekend's Babble of the Sexes: Lorie, Michael, Hayley, Christine)

Saturday, February 11, 2006

they've got it all wrong














click here .

funny. you think they'd know better. which one is which?

(ignore the last line of the video ... it's dumb.)

Friday, February 10, 2006

Super Bowl '06 commercials



watch www.stupidvideos.com for more funny Super Bowl '06 commercials.

Thursday, February 09, 2006

ah, Juliet, there's more to it than you think


When Shakespeare wrote the scene in which Juliet leaned against her balcony and shouted to the moon "What's in a name?!!", her words falling instead upon the ears of a love-struck young man, he knew very little of what I found out only months ago: a name can bear much meaning.

I bring this up because Dr. Plummer invited our New Testament class to join him at The Sweet Tooth for some cake or pie this past Tuesday night. In order for everyone to get to know one another, he chose the topic of discussion to be the meaning of everyone's names. I wished so much that I could have been there!

Because my name is interesting.

The origin of my middle name's meaning is still unclear. Some have suggested that it means "a small booth on the side of the road in which newspapers and periodicals are sold." I have my doubts.

I've known for years and years that my first name means "follower of Christ."

But it gets better.

I've never met another Christine Hnat before. I hear there's one in Columbus, Ohio, who is a producer of an Actor's theater and makes art out of glass. hmm ... acting and art ... must run in the name. But when I lived in Prague this past summer, I felt as if I had arrived. These were my people, the land of my father's heritage. When I looked in the phone book under "Hnat", there were columns, instead of only one entry. One of my English students informed me that my name meant "shank bone" or "to drive" (as in a shepherd driving ... leading ... his flock out to pasture).

Gasp! How fitting! Christine Hnat ... one driven by Christ.

Oh, but it gets EVEN better.

A few months ago, I was piddling around and came across this meaning of the name Hnat .

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

the green goodness



People, before they meet me, have already named me.

hmm ... i think i'll keep that sentence the way it is and not say anything more. Those of you who know me have an idea of what i've been named. And those of you who don't ... well, let your imaginations run wild.

Anyway, I thought I'd tell you what I had to drink this morning. Bolthouse Farms has these great drinks found in the produce section just brimming with wholesome goodness. Naturally, I was intrigued by a beverage titled "green goodness". It helps not to look at it while you drink it, actually. And it sort of has the thickness of ... oil?

But get this ... get a load of the ingredients!

Apple juice from concentrate, pineapple juice from concentrate, mango puree from concentrate, banana puree, kiwi juice, natural flavor, spirulina, open cell chlorela, vitamin C, lime juice, zinc sulfate, BROCCOLI, green tea, SPINACH, BARLEY GRASS, WHEAT GRASS, BLUE GREEN ALGAE, echinacea purpurea extract, odorless GARLIC, tamarind puree, dragon fruit juice, lemon bioflavonoids, JERUSALEM ARTICHOKE and nova scotia dulce.

Yum!

A Day Late and a Dollar Short

Third Scenario: how would you respond?


I’m a guy and have a girl friend who lives in the same building as me, and we hang out a lot. She calls or IMs me every day and tells me everything about her day. It makes me feel really close to her. We’ve been hanging out, doing lunch, dinner, talking, etc., for about two years, and yesterday she told me that she had a date with this new guy that just moved in next door. I was totally shocked. I thought that our friendship was working toward something. Where did I go wrong? Why would she do this to me?

--A Day Late and a Dollar Short



Babble of the Sexes

A Public Rant About Desperate Dating Habits
and the Opposite Sex

February 10, 7 p.m.



Hosted by the witty (and bordering on irreverent) Hayley and Michael DiMarco, best-selling authors of the book "Marriable- Taking the Desperate Out of Dating"

Topics include-

-Shut Up and Be Mysterious
-Nice Guys Really Do Finish Last
-Desperate Lies Women Tell Themselves
-How Being 'Just Friends' Is a Waste of Time
-a lively (and anonymous) Q & A time

Share February 10th at 7 p.m. with your closest single friends and
let Hayley and Michael put you in a festive mood on Singles Awareness Day (S.A.D.).

Sponsored by Ninth and O Baptist Church and Hungry Planet
Location: Ninth and O Baptist Church, 4401 Breckenridge LN, Louisville, 40218
www.hungryplanet.net

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Mistaken for a Girlfriend

Second Scenario: how would you respond?


I have my eye on a certain guy at the volunteer center. We both work on projects together and spend a lot of time planning events, dreaming up possibilities, and stuff like that. We go out to eat at least once a week. He tells me all that’s going on in his life. I mean, it’s like we are dating but without the commitment or the holding hands or flirting or anything. I feel like we’re dating, but the other day he said something about this girl he likes, and it threw me for a loop. Why does he spend so much time with me if he’s not into me? And why would he tell me about another girl when it’s so obvious I like him? Shall I tell him how it makes me feel? Or just wait for him to talk about it?

--Mistaken for a Girlfriend



Babble of the Sexes

A Public Rant About Desperate Dating Habits
and the Opposite Sex

February 10, 7 p.m.



Hosted by the witty (and bordering on irreverent) Hayley and Michael DiMarco, best-selling authors of the book "Marriable- Taking the Desperate Out of Dating"

Topics include-

-Shut Up and Be Mysterious
-Nice Guys Really Do Finish Last
-Desperate Lies Women Tell Themselves
-How Being 'Just Friends' Is a Waste of Time
-a lively (and anonymous) Q & A time

Share February 10th at 7 p.m. with your closest single friends and
let Hayley and Michael put you in a festive mood on Singles Awareness Day (S.A.D.).

Sponsored by Ninth and O Baptist Church and Hungry Planet
Location: Ninth and O Baptist Church, 4401 Breckenridge LN, Louisville, 40218
www.hungryplanet.net

Monday, February 06, 2006

The Dreaded Four Words

Here is the first excerpt from the chapter "How Being Just Friends Is a Waste of Time." How would you respond? The authors' response will be posted Tuesday morning.


I recently went out with this girl from work. We just went for coffee first, the second time to a singles event. I called her up for something more date-ish like dinner and a movie, and she hit me with the “let’s just be friends” line. Does this mean it’s all over? Couldn’t she be just wanting to take it slow? I say this because she called me a few days later just to talk. She’s too hard to read if she has any interest in dating me. What am I allowed to do as “just friends"? How do I get to know this girl and she me without wasting my time? The few times I brought it up she just avoided the subject. Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi, you’re my only hope!

Babble of the Sexes

A Public Rant About Desperate Dating Habits
and the Opposite Sex

February 10, 7 p.m.



Hosted by the witty (and bordering on irreverent) Hayley and Michael DiMarco, best-selling authors of the book "Marriable- Taking the Desperate Out of Dating"

Topics include-

-Shut Up and Be Mysterious
-Nice Guys Really Do Finish Last
-Desperate Lies Women Tell Themselves
-How Being 'Just Friends' Is a Waste of Time
-a lively (and anonymous) Q & A time

Share February 10th at 7 p.m. with your closest single friends and
let Hayley and Michael put you in a festive mood on Singles Awareness Day (S.A.D.).

Sponsored by Ninth and O Baptist Church and Hungry Planet
Location: Ninth and O Baptist Church, 4401 Breckenridge LN, Louisville, 40218
www.hungryplanet.net

over the next three days



Over the next three days, I am going to post excerpts from Hayley and Michael DiMarco's book Marriable in order to promote the upcoming event on February 10th at 7 p.m. Ninth and O Baptist Church and HungryPlanet are sponsoring a public forum in which the author's will give an overview of their book and then conduct an open Q&A with the audience.

The excerpts are from the chapter How Being Just Friends Is a Waste of Time which can be read in full on their website. They will be scenarios and questions that the authors have found common among singles.

Each day the scenario will be posted and I encourage readers to post how you would respond. The following morning, I will post the response of the authors in the comments box.

Sunday, February 05, 2006

real futball


For a look at real futball, click here .

Oh ... and GO SEATTLE!!!

a hot cup of ...


Ah, just sitting by the window, bundled up, reading for class, watching the snow fall, and drinking tea.

Click here .