Saturday, August 11, 2007

married for one month, part 15

anthony asked:

  1. Did you really actually know before you met that you would get married?
  2. Were you too emotionally committed to pull out of it, even if you discovered that you came across differently in person than expected when you met, and discovered unforeseen personality incompatibilities? (I expect you to say that there were no real surprises when you met, so my next question would be...)
  3. Would you have been able to get to know each other well enough for their to be no real surprises when you met if you didn't use webcams?
  4. What do you think of the dangers of the false sense of intimacy that internet communication can bring?

Christine responds:

Mike and I did not begin communicating via webcam until September (2 months after we shared our feelings for each other). I knew I loved him even before I heard his voice (July 13, 2006 ... before that it was all msn messenger, email, and blogs). I wanted to be sure it was really him that I loved ... and not his wonderful good looks and sexy Aussie accent (that would have been enough for my dear friend Laura, I dare say ; ).

There was no pressure for Mike to propose to me when he came to America. By then I already had plans to visit during December/January. If things did not work out, the plan was for me to stay in Sydney over the holiday rather than going on to Tassie. It was Mike who took on the responsibility to purchase a ticket for me to fly from Sydney to Hobart.

Mike and I knew the dangers of internet relationships ... the ease of hiding behind a computer, etc. Thus we purposefully were very open, honest, and vulnerable about our own faults from the very beginning (msn messenger days).


Jonny said...

I dare say both of you spent so much time on the computer it would have been difficult (or impossible) if Mike had a full time job.

Laura said...

Sigh. Outed.

Alan said...

LOL interesting point Jonny,
funny how God works like this hey.. ;)

anthony said...

"I wanted to be sure it was really him that I loved ... and not his wonderful good looks and sexy Aussie accent"

hmm that's interesting. It brings up the question of what is closer to the real person - how they present themselves online or how they are in person? If you are making a decision about who you want to spend the rest of your life with, I'd say that meeting them in person gives a more accurate picture of what the person is like.

anyway, its great that it has worked out well for you guys...

mike said...

I'd take you point Ant. Although I should point out in my experience meeting Christine in person wasn't weird or inaccurate. It merely confirmed what I already thought and therefore I decided to ask her to marry me fairly soon after I went to the US.

But as I say that was my experience rather than a general principle of internet relationships.