introducing ... ckjolly.blogspot.com

502 blog posts later and after many stories, travels, videos, photos, finding love on the internet ... I am proud to announce the inaugurating post at http://ckjolly.blogspot.com. All new updates will be posted at the new site.

Many in the realm of Christendom are choosing to refer to themselves as Christ-followers rather than Christians. Many theologians, evangelists, church planters, and "Christians" have adopted the term to remove the baggage and stigma the term Christian seems to bear on today's culture.

While many cringe at the word Christian, the name Jesus Christ almost universally demands respect. "Christian" in many cultures, however, conjures up images of tele-evangelists, the Ku Klux Klan, crusades, etc.

Christ-followers wish others to associate them with the Son of God and not a particular denomination or faction of society. Do they resent those who call themselves Christians? No.

What do you think of the use of terms?

The videos linked to on the new i'd rather laugh than cry are a parody of the Mac vs PC ads on television. They equate Christians with those of the traditional line of church-goers, while Christ-followers are associated with emerging types.

formal portraits

Here are the formal wedding portraits. Mike and I brilliantly decided to have them taken the Friday before the wedding, relieving us of immense amounts of stress the day of the event.

Someone on Facebook asked, "Christine, where did you get your wedding dress? It looks like one of the J. Crew gowns that I ogle whenever they send me new catalogs."

I too admired this classic, simple dress from J. Crew. In fact, I admired it so much that three years ago I BOUGHT the dress.

You do the math.

long awaited pictures

Photos have been consolidated by various guests (one of which had an OBSESSION with the girl in the green dress).

Click here if you have the patience of Job to go through over 200* pictures of the wedding.

If you are more of the school of Job's wife, just run through 18 pages of thumbprints and you'll be fine.

Enjoy!

*A big fat thanks to Dave, Joel, and Mark for taking pictures during the ceremony/celebration.

facebook

add me on Facebook and you can see pictures of the wedding (coming soon).

UPDATE:
Meredith posted some of her pictures of the wedding here on Facebook.

wedded in Christ

(Retired Major) Robert Hnat met me at the back door as Carmen, Cassey (my lovely friend/mother-to-be of a BOY), my mother, and I emerged from the back room where we had been praying together. It was 1645 (military time for 4:45 pm). Hand in hand my mother, father, and I walked to the front of the church while others were still standing about, some finding a place to sit while others chatted with friends.

It was all beginning just as we desired: a family gathered together to celebrate what God had done. I was not the center of attention, nor was Mike, nor was the Tasmanian harpist, nor were the decorations. Christ would be the focus.

I turned behind me to see who had come. The room was speckled with the ethnic attire of brothers and sisters in Christ that now call Hannover, Germany, their home but whose families are oceans away. I couldn't see the Martin family from Frankfurt yet. I winked at little Janice, who was already taking her responsibility at the end of the ceremony very seriously. A few little girls stood next to Christina Sonnemann listening to her singing and play the harp. I glanced at Mike, Dave, and Joel on the other side of the church, only to find them taking pictures with their cameras! ROFL! (Whatever it takes to not get stressed.)

Promptly at 1700, my father stood and the whirl of ceremonial events commenced that would make me and Mike one under Christ.

(Click here to view the program.*)

Carmen, Cassey, Christine, Mike, Dave, and Joel

At 1745, my father announced Mr. and Mrs. Michael Jolly to the public and little girls along aisle stood on their seats showering us with flower petals.

Following the ceremony there was a flurry of photographs being taken by guests. During a group photo, I overheard my mother ask my father between her smiling teeth, "Who's the fellow in the beard snapping all those photos?"

I looked out at the enthusiastic amateur wedding photographers to find the bearded man.

No clue.

I thought nothing of it. There were so many people I didn't know that what did one more matter? ... but it was odd that my parents didn't know him.

Later, as I munched on a Wanton and watched the Philippinas dance to the tune of their ethnic music, a beautiful red-headed woman approached. I saw the question in my mother's eyes: "Who are you?"

I knew who she was. During the out-of-town-guests group picture, she and the bearded man joined the group standing behind me and Mike. I turned to get a closer look at the mystery couple, smiling a welcome. The woman whispered, "I'm Meredith."

My eyes widened in delight ... Meredith!

For all of you bloggers who have not yet met me and Mike and wanted desperately to come to the wedding, Meredith was there representing you. (Meredith and her husband Detlev wrote a review of the wedding here.) Carmen and Mark also represented bloggers present (perhaps they can offer their own point of view in the comment section).

My dear friend and "little sister" (who some may remember from my family's 2006 Christmas Youtube video), Sonja Schneider did a wonderful job as our wedding coordinator. Months before the wedding, Sonja would frequently pester me with questions about how plans were going. "What plans?" So to keep her sane and Mike and I relaxed, I asked my dear sweet friend if she would do us the honor of coordinating our wedding. She was professional and energetic and truly had the vision of Christ as center of the ceremony. In fact, she surprised me and Mike with singing "How Beautiful".



* vows were adapted from Adrian and Andree Warnock's wedding vows.

Happy Christine Day

This is how my family celebrated Christine Day. We had a contest in which we broke apart Oreo cookies, licked off all the cream, dunked the chocolate cookies in the milk, ate the cookies, and gulped down all the milk (or barfed it up, like I did! So fun!).

Thanks to all those humans and kitties who wished me a happy birthday below (lol ... did you even read the deep thoughtful blog entry or were you just too excited about celebrating the day ... [I don't blame you]?)!

Thanks to Mike, June 15 is now internationally recognized as Christine Day. If you haven't already gone out to purchase or cut your own Christine Tree, do so now before the day is over.

a quest ended

Many of you long time readers know that I have had a goal over the past two years to one day write a book that would enable women to encourage the men in their lives, whether in the church or family, to lead lives that would honor God and serve the church. My purpose in doing so was because I had never come across such a resource.

Over the past two years while attending seminary, I personally sought the advice of various complementarian spokesmen (and women) concerning my endeavor.

My first semester in a systematic theology class, I raised my hand and asked the professor:

"What can women do to help reverse certain harmful trends in feminism in the church and marriage? What can we do in the church to encourage the men to lead?"

Perhaps I merely surprised this man who is so influential in speaking on complementarian matters, but his answer did not seem sufficient for me.

After a moment of silent thought, he responded, "It seems to me that the best answer is to do nothing."

"Nothing?!!"

"To the extent that it creates a power vacuum and them men are forced to fill that void."

On another occasion, I attended a special lecture by Dr. Randy Stinson from the Council of Biblical Manhood and Womanhood titled, The Feminzation of the Church: Detecting and Correcting It (click to listen). I was delighted with the title of this lecture, certain that my questions would be answered here. I became discouraged during the Q&A when men on my right and left, before and behind were called on to submit their questions. Was I being ignored? Perhaps, Dr. Stinson thought I objected to his diagnosis of the church's present situation. No! On the contrary. But time ticked by and my hand grew tired of seeking recognition. Finally, with five minutes left Dr. Stinson turned to address my question.

"Dr. Stinson, as a woman fully concerned about the lack of male leadership, desiring to remove certain harmful trends of feminism in the church, I affirm what you see as a danger in the church. I would like to ask what do you recommend that women do to encourage their brothers to step up and lead? What can women do to reverse those harmful trends?"

Later, others came to me and remarked that they'd found my question very helpful, but were discouraged that the lecturer had supplied no concrete advice for the listeners.

Over the semesters, I asked similar questions to other students, professors, and visiting lecturers only to have similar results each time.

My own discouragement had almost turned to despair. Was there no one who had gone before me that had asked these questions? Had no one given careful thought to these matters? When I discussed my concerns with my peers, they acknowledged that my concerns were valid and pleaded with me that should I come across answers that they would like to be the first to know.

Was the burden to lie solely on my shoulders?

My quest was specific:
Marriages and churches were occupied by men and women shaped and molded by feminism: women who demand leadership and men who grow increasingly apathetic toward the spiritual condition of their family and the church. Marriages are wrecked by selfishness and false expectations. Churches are dieing as men leave leadership positions. Women step up filling that void, and men merely warm the pews one day a week moving closer and closer toward the back door.

What can a woman do to influence the men in her life to be the men God would have them be? How can she influence them to be spiritual leaders in their community and home? How can she move them toward godliness?

My burden has lifted.

In Gary Thomas' book, Sacred Influence, I see the answers to my questions.

While this book was written specifically for wives, I believe that the truths found therein are applicable for all women who seek to influence men toward godly living in their home, church, community, work, etc. They are not motivated out of personal gain so that they may manipulate men to succumb to their vision of how men ought to be. No! This book is for women who are dedicated to their men living lives glorifying God out of reverence for Christ.

Be forwarned! This is not a book that lays out a step-by-step process on how to transform your imperfect men into Jesus Christ. Instead, you will find your own imperfect life being transformed if you, like Thomas urges, let the transformation begin with you.

Are we so self-righteous as women that we are so consumed with the faults of men that we have become blind to our own? God forbid!

In the six posts below, I have presented excerpts from the first six chapters of Sacred Influence. These help to build a foundation for developing a heart and environment for change, beginning in the heart of the woman. The chapters following are listed below:

7. A Claim, a Call, and a Commitment
Focusing on Personal Responsibilities

8. Understanding the Male Mind
Learning to Make Allowances for Your Husband's Masculinity

9. Jeanne-Antoinette
The Power of a Persistent Pursuit

Part 3: Confronting the Most Common Concerns

10. Ray and Jo: Taming the Temper, Part 1
Self-Respect as a First Defense against Your Husband's Anger

11. Taming the Temper, Part 2
Learning to Navigate through Your Husband's Anger

12. Rich and Pat: The Magic Question
Helping Your Husband to Become More Involved at Home

13. The Biology of a Busy Man
How to Help Your Man Put Family First

14. Pure Passion
Cementing Your Husband's Affections and Protecting His Spiritual Integrity

15. Ken and Diana: Affair on the Internet
Winning Back the Husband Who Strays

16. John and Catherine: Finding Faith
Influencing a Nonbelieving or Spiritually Immature Husband

I will not post exerpts from these chapters because I strongly recommend that you purchase the book for yourself so that you may be convicted through the Scripture, sound doctrine, and personal insights of women who have gone before, founded in Sacred Influence's pages.

What will I do now that my quest has reached it's end? Lord willing, I may learn these spiritual principles now and put them into practice so that I may bless my future husband with a wife given over to living a life worthy of her calling as "helper". In time, I may rise to the challenge of Titus 2 and train other women to love their husbands and children.

the mystery of love between a man and a woman

Meredith, who plans on attending Mike and my wedding at the end of this month, writes a thought provoking comparison of love for God and love for spouse.

Read here.

the puzzle, part 2

the puzzle, part 1

What did Mike get me for my birthday?

astounded

An excerpt from Gary Thomas' Sacred Influence:

Elyse Fitzpatrick, a counselor, once told her small group about how God had moved her from a legalistic, works-oriented faith to a "grace-filled, peaceful existence with my merciful heavenly Father."

"The pressure is off me," she told them. "Don't get me wrong; it's not that I'm not pursuing holiness. It's just that I know that my Father will get me where He wants me to be and that even my failures serve, in some way, to glorify Him. My relationship with God is growing to be all about His grace, His mercy, His power."

Then Elyse's friend "astounded" her by responding, "That must be such a blessing for your husband, Elyse. To be walking in that kind of grace must enable you to be so patient and so grace-filled with Phil. To know that God is working in him just as He's working in you must make your marriage so sweet and your husband so pleased. It must be great for hiim to know that the pressure is off for him too."

The reason this friend "astounded" Elyse is because Elyse rarely made the connection her friend made. "I scarcely ever extended to Phil the grace I enjoyed with the Lord. Instead, I was frequently more like the man in Jesus' parable, who after he was forgiven a great debt, went out and beat his fellow slave because he owed him some paltry sum."

flirting with me

It's been almost a year since Mike and I have known each other. We had fun today going through old posts looking at how we interacted on each other's blogs ... from strangers, to friends, to flirting, to wow, I really like this guy!

Mike posted a couple of links to his flirtatious attempts on his blog here.

Below is how it all carried over onto my blog.

May 30 - i wish they all could be Califor ... Modest ... girls
Mike's respect for me begins to build.

May 31 - lack of faith?
Mike is open to finding love on the internet.

June 1 - what is it like to be tall?
When we establish that Mike was in fact taller than me. Beware, the flirting is a bit thick here. And ... he wants me to move to Hobart.

June 3 - links to me
Mike called me a "Christian Feminazi".

June 5 - summer reading
Mike's plan to get married at 30 fizzles out and he claims to watch cage fighting ... but Craig calls him out on it.

June 7 - i'm a friendly nerd
Mike wishes he were the one sitting next to me.

June 19 - men get all gushy when they fall in love
Mike shows that he has what it takes.

June 24 - i hate youth lockins
The flirtatious comments on the blog have slowed down ... but have only heated up in our private conversations ... for instance when I stayed up all night chatting with Mike and he asked me ...

June 25 - what men want
Well not really ... he asked me "What do women want in a man?" Sleep deprived I couldn't come up with anything good ... so he volunteered what he thought ... and I seemed to have some idea of what a man was looking for.

July 25 - the news is out

How it all came about.

UPDATE: Mike posts Part 2.

not natural!

The ladies at HIBC throw the best baby showers.

Oma: (auf Deutsch) What does baby shower mean? Why do you call it this? (Germans do not throw baby showers ... don't ask me what they do for fun. Who knows ...)
Me: Hmm, good question. I suppose it is a showering of love and gifts on the new mother.

But it's the games and the gusto in which these ladies from Africa, Europe, Asia, and the US (my mum and I) take part that make these parties so memorable.

These are the same ladies that are planning my wedding (their first) ... should be a very memorable time.

baby Bennet

immaturity

Laura links to this article from Boundless.

(I'm busy packing. I leave the US in FIVE days!)

mike preaches...

... about where our hope truly lies.

outlined here.

listen here.

acts 29 misrepresented

The Missouri Baptist Convention refuses to cooperate with the Acts 29 church planting network for the following seven reasons as stated in their periodical The Pathway.

"Acts 29 should not be an organization with which the Missouri Baptist Convention networks by means of our Cooperative Program money, missions emphases and church planting"

1) Acts 29 is a part of the Emerging Church movement;

2) We have great difficulty with the notion or philosophy that a church can be theologically conservative and methodologically liberal. There is an inherent connection between biblical theology and missions methodology;

3) There seems to be levels of immaturity and even rebellion among the leadership of the Emerging Church movement;

4) Acts 29 should not be an organization with which the Missouri Baptist Convention networks by means of our Cooperative Program money, missions emphases and church planting;

5) A commitment to planting indigenous churches in Missouri is not a commitment to cultural compromise;

6) We recognize the diversity of opinion in American evangelicalism when it comes to alcoholic beverages. This does not negate our historic and ongoing affirmation of the resolutions at 57 annual meetings of the Southern Baptist Convention regarding abstinence as the Baptist position on the sale and use of alcoholic beverages;

7) There are vast theological extremes and a profound depth of doctrinal diversity, even instances of clearly heretical statements, within the Emerging Church movement with which we are greatly uncomfortable.

Read Acts 29's gracious response to these accusations here.

Timmy Brister has been following the events here.

from gossip and criticism to giving grace

Jonna Petry speaks to the women of Mars Hill on the manner in which they give grace in their communication.

Listen here.

Because of sin, because of the curse, because we all suffer, we are all in profound need of God's grace.

And God desires that we be instruments of His grace to one another.

Drink deeply of God's grace.

2 Corinthians 12:9
But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

Pride keeps us from receiving God's grace.

It is pride in me to think that God loves me more when I do right and loves me less when I do wrong.

We are all in profound need of God's grace no matter where we are in the journey.

I must humbly accept the reality of who I am, that the horrible reality of the ability to sin rests in me as much as it does in anyone else. I must be ever mindful and ever receiving, deeply drinking of, the grace that God gives.

For how can we speak God's grace, if we miss the grace God intends for us.

My value and self-worth is only this: that God loved and saved a wretch like me.


2. In spite of our sin and circumstances, our heavenly Father deeply loves His children and has abundantly supplied through Jesus Christ our Savior and Lord that grace that we profoundly need.

God really loves us but not because of anything in us.

Romans 5:1-7
Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.

For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. For one will scarcely die for a righteous person--though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die-- 8but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Ephesians 4:29
Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.

corrupting talk vs giving grace

Grace is clothing on a naked body.
Grace is a blanket that wraps around you and gives comfort and peace and security


Gossip

Criticism - act of stressing another's faults; finding fault; judge with severity; born out of a heart full of pride; it is first an attitude before it ever becomes words that are spoken.

Common emotions or roots:
pride and self-righteousness; high opinion of self; inordinate self-esteem; conceit of one's own superiority; contempt of others

Genesis 3:1-6
Now the serpent was more crafty than any other beast of the field that the LORD God had made.He said to the woman, "Did God actually say, 'You shall not eat of any tree in the garden'?" And the woman said to the serpent, "We may eat of the fruit of the trees in the garden, but God said, 'You shall not eat of the fruit of the tree that is in the midst of the garden, neither shall you touch it, lest you die.'" But the serpent said to the woman, "You will not surely die. For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil." So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate, and she also gave some to her husband who was with her, and he ate.

When we engage in corrupting conversation we are following the deceiver.

Problematic in the church since the epistles were written.

2 Corinthians

testimony

Almost every admonition to women in the Bible deal with a woman's words.

1 Timothy 2:11
Let a woman learn quietly with all submissiveness. I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet. For Adam was formed first, then Eve; and Adam was not deceived, but the woman was deceived and became a transgressor.

Proverbs 9:13
The woman Folly is loud;
she is seductive and knows nothing.

A sinful mouth is often associated with a deceived heart.

The bitter fruit of sinful speech is destruction.

Galatians 5:15
But if you bite and devour one another, watch out that you are not consumed by one another.

Matthew 12:34-37
You brood of vipers! How can you speak good, when you are evil? For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. The good person out of his good treasure brings forth good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure brings forth evil. I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak, for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned."

This heart of sinful criticism is a heart full of pride.


For believers, God-dependent effort to bridle the tongue is necessary for holy living and pleasing the Lord.

Pr. 10:19
When words are many, transgression is not lacking,
but whoever restrains his lips is prudent.

James 1:26
If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person's religion is worthless.

Advice from experience:
1. If the person you are talking about were present as a by-stander, how would it affect them?

2. Just because you don't say anything yourself, you are guilty of sin unless you immediately divert the conversation or leave.

3. How can you be used as an instrument of grace?

James 3:2-11
For we all stumble in many ways, and if anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle his whole body. If we put bits into the mouths of horses so that they obey us, we guide their whole bodies as well. Look at the ships also: though they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are guided by a very small rudder wherever the will of the pilot directs. So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things.

How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire! And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell. For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by mankind, but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so. Does a spring pour forth from the same opening both fresh and salt water?

No human being can tame the tongue.
But God by the power of the Holy Spirit can tame the tongue.

How can we change to be women who give grace to those who hear?
1. recognize the problem, it's depth and seriousness
2. recognize pride
3. be people who receive grace
4. know we are loved so we may give love to others
5. respond in deep gratitude, loving God (1 John 1:4)

speak words of redemption, grace-filled, trasformation, build up the church and not tear it down

it's practical ... not theoretical

Churches that strive to be missional in their community engage the surrounding culture and yet offer their neighbors a radical alternative community focused on the gospel of Jesus Christ. In his article, “Missional, Theological Church Planting”, Ed Stetzer describes a church dedicated to God’s mission as, “God at work in the world, touching hearts and lives, our participation with Him seeing men and women converted, their lives changed by the power of the Gospel, and establishing New Testament congregations.” Christians can do their individual part in God’s mission by displaying Christ through that radical alternative lifestyle in three circles: marriage, family, and community.

Christians are called to be salt and light in this world, offering the culture we are called to live and minister in a view of the truth of the gospel. Christ commands his disciples to, “let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven” (Matthew 5:16). Ephesians 5 describes the mystery of marriage, revealing that it is, in fact, a representation of Christ and the Church. Those in the covenant of a Christian marriage are to convey to the world a marvelous picture of Christ’s covenant with his people that is unlike any other living example available.

John Piper, in his sermon “Marriage: God’s Showcase of Covenant-Keeping Grace”, describes Christian marriage as a unique display of God in that it involves two people in an intimate life-long covenant. “[I]n marriage you live hour by hour in glad dependence on God’s forgiveness and justification and promised future grace, and you bend it out toward your spouse hour by hour—as an extension of God’s forgiveness and justification and promised help.” Not only are Christian couples displaying Christ to each other, but the radical difference in their covenant relationship ought to affect all those who encounter them, observing their light and glorifying God. He chose to use the institution of marriage to reveal to the world his gospel message.

Is this concept yet another example of a theologian commentating on a vague biblical truth that is easier said than understood ... much less done? How exactly, does one live the gospel before one's spouse ... or others, for that matter ... especially knowing that each spouse is a sinner. Ah, but a sinner saved by grace! It is easy to use theological words but do you truly understand grace unless you experience and live it? How can you show grace to your spouse? When she disappoints you, will you condemn her? Or will you show her the "longsuffering" and forgiveness that Christ has shown you. When he fears he has let you down and does not think he deserves your forgiveness, will you show him the undeserved unconditional love that God extends toward you?

This is practical theology, folks. This is meant to be normal Christianity of the Sermon on the Mount sort ... not super-Christian ideology ... but everyday Christian gospel living.

In addition to the marriage covenant, Christians have a responsibility to the next generation of believers. When God blesses a Christian couple with children, they have the awesome responsibility of evangelizing, discipling, and training their children to become godly leaders. Just as Adam and Eve were called to image God to the world, so are Christian parents called to image God to their children. Fathers and mothers exemplify God as they love, discipline, and train their children. Doreen Moore in her article “Jonathan Edwards: Ministry and the Life of the Family” [which I strongly recommend that you read] depicts Edwards as an exemplary father and minister of the gospel, whose “chief anxiety” was the salvation of his children’s souls. Those who do not have children need not necessarily neglect representing Christ to the next generation. They may do so among the young people in their church community and beyond.

Marriage and family are unique pictures of the gospel because they are the most intimate of relationships lasting for a lifetime (particularly the husband-wife union of one-flesh). However, Christians, whether they be married or single are called to extend God’s grace to all. Colossians chapters two and three exhort Christians to remember what Christ has done and to extend that grace to others, including those within the church and the community. Not only are unbelievers watching the family relationships of Christians but they are also observing the interaction of the saints with each other and toward others. This new life that Christ offers is radical and when Christians live it out before others they provide a visual of the gospel in action. The world observes “compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another, … forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, … love, … the peace of Christ, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, … giving thanks” (Colossians 3:12b-17) when Christians understand their responsibility and joy to represent Christ to each other and the world.

Whether God calls an individual or family to live for the rest of their lives next door to the house they were born in or relocates them across the world, Christians are called to represent him wherever their location. The gospel transcends cultures. It is not bound by borders. Thus, citizens of the Kingdom of God across the globe can impact whatever culture they find themselves in by living this extraordinary lifestyle prescribed in the Sermon on the Mount, Colossians, and the entire Scriptures. Whatever their situation, they may contextualize the manner in which they live and share the gospel of Jesus Christ as they take part in God’s mission; however, these three areas of marriage, family, and community are key to living out the mission God has planned for his people regardless of their place or position of service.

the chief end of marriage is procreation?

What is the purpose of marriage? This question is on the minds of civil-rights activists, legislators, clergymen, and citizens alike. And their answer to that question will form their position in how they debate their point of view.

Is it for sexual gratification? companionship? procreation?

Today's legal battles concerning the acceptance of same-sex marriage are being fought on the same territory as those who battled the use of contraceptives in England during the 1940s. This Time article describes a case that went all the way up to the House of Lords. For ten years a wife refused to be sexually intimate with her husband unless he used a contraceptive. Perplexed and desiring to have children, he sought to have the marriage nulled. (Something I think they ought to have discussed before tying the knot.) The House of Lords turned down his request, deciding that procreation did not equate consummation of a marriage.

Newspapers were inundated with letters to the editor in regard to this legal decision, many quoting the Church of England's Book of Common Prayer.

"First, it [marriage] was ordained for the procreation of children, to be brought up in the fear and nurture of the Lord and to the praise of His holy name."

The Catholic cardinal even chimed in with

"The primary purpose of marriage is the procreation and education of children; the secondary end, mutual support and the relief of concupiscence. . . . Contraceptive intercourse, whether with the aid of instruments or not, is not consummation of marriage [and is] against nature . . . shameful and intrinsically immoral."

In the midst of the ensuing heated debate, A. P. Herbert, M.P., perhaps caused the halls of Parliament to ring with chuckles only to be quickly silenced by contemplation when he stated that "if marriage-with-contraceptive isn't marriage; then adultery-with-contraceptive isn't adultery."

Today, those opposing gay marriage are using the very same arguments. Senior Director for the Center for Marriage and Family Studies Peter Sprigg made the following statement in his explanation of the public purpose of marriage:

"[M]arriage is a public institution because it brings together men and women for the purpose of reproducing the human race and keeping a mother and father together to cooperate in raising to maturity the children they produce."

Is marriage then only for couples who are willing and able to conceive? The Seattle Times reported in February that a group of gay-activists are recommending that an initiative be added to the November ballot advocating that very idea. The initiative would go even further in that marriage would be dissolved if the couple is still childless after three years of marriage.

The Washington Defense of Marriage Alliance is a parody of the acronym DOMA which stands for Defense of Marriage Act. The act passed the state Supreme Court last year 5-4 opposing same-sex marriage in part because they are not for the purpose of procreation. Gregory Gadow and his parody organization hope that their initiative will cause the Washington Supreme Court to re-evaluate its 2006 decision.

"We want people to think about the purpose of marriage," he said. "If it exists for the purpose of procreation, they must understand then that these are the consequences."

Many operate under the assumption that the primary purpose of marriage is procreation. Even the man who has lived with his girlfriend of ten years will thoughtfully suggest that when they are ready to have children that they will get married. But is this truly the purpose of marriage? Is multiplication God's intent for bringing a man and woman together for a lifetime? Is this a valid, logical, biblical argument against such hot issues as homosexual unions and contraception?

What is the purpose of marriage?

This is the topic for an ethics paper I am currently working on. As I work on the paper I would love any insights you have to share on this matter or any resources you might like to offer to aid my research. As you can see, this is an important question to tackle. I would be grateful for any specific sources you might like to share with me whether they are egalitarian, secular, complementarian, biblical, personal, or from the perspective of church fathers.

my fear ... my sin

What's your greatest fear? heights? fire? water? unrequited love?

Sadly, I never give a spiritual answer to that question. I don't respond, "I fear that those I love will never come to know the joy of God's salvation."

No, instead I reply, "I fear being under-appreciated."

I hate the shallowness of my fear and ... the underlying sin behind it. This is my struggle ... this is my sin.

In the past I have given so much of myself for the good of a cause or person only to be crushed by lack of appreciation. My efforts were ignored or taken for granted. And I often sinned in my response by reacting in anger or resentment.

Is it good to encourage? Is it good to appreciate others?

Emphatically, yes! We are commanded to encourage others.

But is Christ being glorified when I hold on to bitterness by not getting my due recognition?

Ephesians 4:30-32

And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

I have noticed that when I harbor bitterness, it quickly turns to anger and then slander. What a grief I must be to the Holy Spirit!

As Christians we should never drive others to bitterness, especially our fellow brothers and sisters, by neglecting to acknowledge their kindness and hard work for the kingdom of God. So often we need that affirmation that what we are doing is worthwhile and good. But when we do not receive that pat on the back of recognition, is it enough to know that what we accomplished was for Christ and His glory ... not for the praise of man?

Was our motivation to receive glory or to give glory?

Remember, you are not responsible for the actions of others ... but you are responsible for how you respond to them.

update: I just remembered Mike's post last year about encouragement.

*This is still a present struggle in my life.