Wednesday, August 01, 2007

married for one month, part 10

Anonymous asked:

Is there anything you wish you had been told before you got married that no one told you?

Christine responds:

Nup, I can't say that there is.

Do I know everything?

Not by a long shot!

But I feel well-prepared and ready for this journey.

However, I think it is VERY important that readers consider what my friend Nixter has to add:

I have loved some of the things you have said and it has caused me to think through how I can be more like Christ in my marriage so thank you. I also think it is great that you haven't had any major struggles in your first few months of marriage - Praise God!

But I just wanted to say that that is not the case for a lot of people, I know many people who have struggled tremendously in their first year of marriage and that that can be quite normal.

I know for us there were heaps of adjustments in the first few months before things started settled down. In the book ‘From Blushing Bride to Wedded Wife’ it talks about how you are not alone in that struggle. So I think what I am saying is - it isn't always that easy and more often than not it is initially quite hard, this is at least from the people I have spoken to on the issue and also my own experience. Living with girls for 28 years of my life, doing what I want to do etc and then sharing a house, a bed, chores etc with your spouse can be quite an adjustment.

I would hate for people to think that if it isn't as easy for them then something is wrong. But I just want people to know that it is quite normal to feel uncertain, scared, freaked out, etc

One final thing to add – Marriage is a blessing, a gift from God and over time as you learn more about your spouse certain things become easier, other issues may raise there head but you learn more about how each other ticks and how to communicate and love each other.


Bron said...

Did I hear a hint that you're going to be moving into a new flat? I can't be bothered combing back through the comments - but anyway, that is great news if it's the case!

Meredith said...

Go Nixter! This is good, true, balanced and definitely encouraging. I've been married quite a long time now, but the adjustments were hard, even though we were madly in love. My best friend actually had a horrific first year of marriage and was afraid to tell anyone because she thought everyone else had it easy!!! I was so sad when I finally found out (some years later!) because she must have been terribly lonely. Christine, thanks for posting Nixter's good contribution!