Thursday, August 02, 2007

married for one month, part 12

Tracy asked:

What expectations did you have of marriage that you didn't realize that you had? (usually discovered in their disappointment)

Christine responds:

Moving into a bachelor's home where a system of how things are done and where items belong is difficult. It's difficult for a bride to feel that anything is really her own. She feels she's a guest until she can make her own home as she would like.

I thought I could march in and go about things as I normally would albeit in a new surrounding. But because living in Mike's old flat (while Dave is still overseas traveling) is only temporary ... I have to be careful to put things back just as I found them and respect the general system of established order.

I was surprised by how much stress I felt, as a result.

Much of this, however, will be alleviated as we move into our new apartment. Then I can decorate, arrange, and organize (don't scoff!) as I wish (of course, taking Mike's suggestions and needs into careful consideration).

Mike's friend, Sam, gave Mike this wise advice before Mike left for Germany:
"Let your wife decorate and arrange things as she wants and your own happiness will increase!"


Tracy said...

I think you have a great attitude, Christine. With God's grace, of course, you will keep adapting. Don't be too surprised if there are still some issues to come out in how the household is run. I don't remember the specific things that were hard for me. But I just remember that I was surprised at how non-consequential things were hard to compromise on. Ruth hit the nail on the head once when she said to me, "it's hard because it is forever." They are silly little things, but you have to decide if you will put up with it forever without complaint or speak up for what you prefer.

Jonny said...

When are you coming to decorate and arrange the Winter Palace mansion of bachelorhood?

Jonny said...

And can we use one cup for all our drinks during the day to save washing up, or do we use a different cup each time we drink because it tastes different from different styles of cup? Something to think long and hard about. lol (sorry)

Bron said...

Mmm, that's a good idea.

We had 4 houses in the first 2 years of marriage. Sometime during all that moving and re-arranging I realised that my decorating had a few too many touches of the little girl's bedroom look - not because I liked it that way but because a lot of my stuff was stuff I had kept from a time when my taste in decorating was very different! And being thrifty, there was no way I was going to be 'updating' perfectly good pink flannelet pillowcases, or whatever it was!

Thankfully I realised that and tried to make it a bit more Nick friendly. And moving interstate helps a lot!