a quest ended

Many of you long time readers know that I have had a goal over the past two years to one day write a book that would enable women to encourage the men in their lives, whether in the church or family, to lead lives that would honor God and serve the church. My purpose in doing so was because I had never come across such a resource.

Over the past two years while attending seminary, I personally sought the advice of various complementarian spokesmen (and women) concerning my endeavor.

My first semester in a systematic theology class, I raised my hand and asked the professor:

"What can women do to help reverse certain harmful trends in feminism in the church and marriage? What can we do in the church to encourage the men to lead?"

Perhaps I merely surprised this man who is so influential in speaking on complementarian matters, but his answer did not seem sufficient for me.

After a moment of silent thought, he responded, "It seems to me that the best answer is to do nothing."

"Nothing?!!"

"To the extent that it creates a power vacuum and them men are forced to fill that void."

On another occasion, I attended a special lecture by Dr. Randy Stinson from the Council of Biblical Manhood and Womanhood titled, The Feminzation of the Church: Detecting and Correcting It (click to listen). I was delighted with the title of this lecture, certain that my questions would be answered here. I became discouraged during the Q&A when men on my right and left, before and behind were called on to submit their questions. Was I being ignored? Perhaps, Dr. Stinson thought I objected to his diagnosis of the church's present situation. No! On the contrary. But time ticked by and my hand grew tired of seeking recognition. Finally, with five minutes left Dr. Stinson turned to address my question.

"Dr. Stinson, as a woman fully concerned about the lack of male leadership, desiring to remove certain harmful trends of feminism in the church, I affirm what you see as a danger in the church. I would like to ask what do you recommend that women do to encourage their brothers to step up and lead? What can women do to reverse those harmful trends?"

Later, others came to me and remarked that they'd found my question very helpful, but were discouraged that the lecturer had supplied no concrete advice for the listeners.

Over the semesters, I asked similar questions to other students, professors, and visiting lecturers only to have similar results each time.

My own discouragement had almost turned to despair. Was there no one who had gone before me that had asked these questions? Had no one given careful thought to these matters? When I discussed my concerns with my peers, they acknowledged that my concerns were valid and pleaded with me that should I come across answers that they would like to be the first to know.

Was the burden to lie solely on my shoulders?

My quest was specific:
Marriages and churches were occupied by men and women shaped and molded by feminism: women who demand leadership and men who grow increasingly apathetic toward the spiritual condition of their family and the church. Marriages are wrecked by selfishness and false expectations. Churches are dieing as men leave leadership positions. Women step up filling that void, and men merely warm the pews one day a week moving closer and closer toward the back door.

What can a woman do to influence the men in her life to be the men God would have them be? How can she influence them to be spiritual leaders in their community and home? How can she move them toward godliness?

My burden has lifted.

In Gary Thomas' book, Sacred Influence, I see the answers to my questions.

While this book was written specifically for wives, I believe that the truths found therein are applicable for all women who seek to influence men toward godly living in their home, church, community, work, etc. They are not motivated out of personal gain so that they may manipulate men to succumb to their vision of how men ought to be. No! This book is for women who are dedicated to their men living lives glorifying God out of reverence for Christ.

Be forwarned! This is not a book that lays out a step-by-step process on how to transform your imperfect men into Jesus Christ. Instead, you will find your own imperfect life being transformed if you, like Thomas urges, let the transformation begin with you.

Are we so self-righteous as women that we are so consumed with the faults of men that we have become blind to our own? God forbid!

In the six posts below, I have presented excerpts from the first six chapters of Sacred Influence. These help to build a foundation for developing a heart and environment for change, beginning in the heart of the woman. The chapters following are listed below:

7. A Claim, a Call, and a Commitment
Focusing on Personal Responsibilities

8. Understanding the Male Mind
Learning to Make Allowances for Your Husband's Masculinity

9. Jeanne-Antoinette
The Power of a Persistent Pursuit

Part 3: Confronting the Most Common Concerns

10. Ray and Jo: Taming the Temper, Part 1
Self-Respect as a First Defense against Your Husband's Anger

11. Taming the Temper, Part 2
Learning to Navigate through Your Husband's Anger

12. Rich and Pat: The Magic Question
Helping Your Husband to Become More Involved at Home

13. The Biology of a Busy Man
How to Help Your Man Put Family First

14. Pure Passion
Cementing Your Husband's Affections and Protecting His Spiritual Integrity

15. Ken and Diana: Affair on the Internet
Winning Back the Husband Who Strays

16. John and Catherine: Finding Faith
Influencing a Nonbelieving or Spiritually Immature Husband

I will not post exerpts from these chapters because I strongly recommend that you purchase the book for yourself so that you may be convicted through the Scripture, sound doctrine, and personal insights of women who have gone before, founded in Sacred Influence's pages.

What will I do now that my quest has reached it's end? Lord willing, I may learn these spiritual principles now and put them into practice so that I may bless my future husband with a wife given over to living a life worthy of her calling as "helper". In time, I may rise to the challenge of Titus 2 and train other women to love their husbands and children.

Sacred Influence, part 6

The following are key passages from Sacred Influence, Chapter 6

Chapter 6
The Helper
Embracing the High Call of Marriage

Genesis 2:18
Then the LORD God said, "It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him."

God designed the wife to help her husband. (78)

Proverbs 12:4
An excellent wife is the crown of her husband,
but she who brings shame is like rottenness in his bones.

Ephesians 5:21-22; 25
submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ, wives submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord... Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,

Paul describes an idealistic view of a simultaneous commitment to the other’s welfare. (79)

The church must not teach the submission of wives apart from the sacrificial love and servanthood required of husbands. (79)

Laura Dillow suggests, “Submission is your only hope of changing your husband. Your husband will change as you allow him to be head of hiis home and as you are submissive to him. He will not change by your nagging, belittling, suggesting, reminding, or mothering.” (80)

The catch is that submission, from a biblical perspective, is determined, not by the worthiness of the person to whom we submit, but by the worthiness of the person who calls us to submit: “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ” (Ephesians 5:21, emphasis added). (81)

Jesus’ submission to his parents even though they were not worthy:

Luke 2:51
And he went down with them and came to Nazareth and was submissive to them. And his mother treasured up all these things in her heart.

If you submit “out of reverence for Christ,” you are never obligated – ever – to do anything that would offend Christ. (81)

“Lord, how do I love my wife today like she has never been loved and never will be loved?” (81)

The spiritual weight of fulfilling my role as a leader who sacrifices and serves and looks out for the good of his family matures me as a man in Christ. It confronts my laziness, my self-centeredness, and my accursed male autonomy. Lisa’s calling as a helper keeps her from pride, self-centeredness, and frivolous living. (82)

If you have entered into God’ invention called marriage, your role is to be your husband’s helper. This does not diminish you any more than the Bible diminishes God by calling him our helper. In fact, being able to help assumes, in one sense, that you have something the person you are helping lacks. If you cease to think of yourself as your husband’s helper, the marriage will suffer, because that’s the way God designed marriage to work. (83)

You shouldn’t become a wife and then act as though you’re still single. (83)

“How can I help my husband today?” (84)

[O]ur motivation has to come from reverence for Christ more than doing one thing in order to get something else. (85)

If you really want to move your man, you must treat him the way God designed him to be treated. (85)

The issue isn’t what makes me or Lisa happy; the issue is what makes God happy. We don’t direct our lives by what makes us comfortable; we try to order our lives by what brings the maximum glory to God and by what will fulfill our call to proclaim the message of God’s reconciliation. (86)

Ephesians 3:20-21
Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, 21to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.

Sacred Influence, part 5

The following are key passages from Sacred Influence, Chapter 5

Chapter 5
The Zarepheth Legacy
How You Can Learn to Appreciate an Imperfect Man

This presents you with a spiritual challenge. You will have to fight the natural human tendency to obsess over your husband’s weaknesses. When I urge you to affirm your husband’s strengths, I’m not minimizing his many weaknesses; I’m just encouraging you to make the daily spiritual choice of focusing on qualities for which you feel thankful. The time will come when you can address the weaknesses – after you’ve established a firm foundation of love and encouragement. (60-61)

Philippians 4:8
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.

Obsessing over your husband’s weaknesses won’t make them go away. You many have done that for years – and if so, what has it gotten you, besides more of the same? Leslie Vernick warns, “Regularly thinking negatively about your husband increases your dissatisfaction with him and your marriage.” Affirming your husband’s strengths, however, will likely reinforce and build up those areas you cherish and motivate him to pursue excellence of character in others. (61)

Nurture Instead of Condemn

God challenges you to maintain an attitude of concern and nurture instead of one of resentment and frustration. (62)

Give Your Husband the Benefit of the Doubt

Many women accuse their husbands of being uncaring or unloving when, in fact, he may just be incompetent! He’s not trying to be stubborn, uncaring, or unfeeling; he just honestly doesn’t know what you need or what he’s supposed to do. (63)

Respect the Position Even When You Disagree with the Person

Ephesians 5:33
However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

Your husband, because he is a husband, deserves respect. You may disagree with his judgment; you may object to the way he handles things – but according to the bible, his position alone calls you to give him proper respect. (65)

Give Him the Same Grace That God Gives You

Form Your Heart Through Prayer

Practice praying positive prayers about your husband. (66)

But over time, thankfulness makes a steady and persistent friend of affection. (67)

Drop Unrealistic Expectations

If you don’t die to unrealistic expectations and if you refuse the cross, you’ll find yourself at constant war with your husband instead of at peace. You’ll feel frustrated instead of contented, and disappointed instead of satisfied. (69)

Your Husband Isn’t a Church

My husband is a man, not a church, and it’s not fair to ask him to be all things to me. (71)

Ask God to Change You

As soon as you recall your husband’s weaknesses – the very second those poor qualities come to mind – start asking God to help you with specific weaknesses of your own. (72)

Get Fresh Eyes

When your husband feels more respected and appreciated at work than he does at home, a precarious situation erupts. Eventually, his heart may gravitate to the place he feels most cherished. (74)

In the midst of living with this kind of frustration, it can be easy to forget the things that first drew you to your man: his sense of humor, his thoughtfulness, his spiritual depth, or any number of other strengths. Though you may become blind to these qualities, that doesn’t mean everyone else will. Respect is a spiritual obligation and discipline. Give your husband his due! (75)

Sacred Influence, part 4

The following are key passages from Sacred Influence, Chapter 4

PART 2
CREATING THE CLIMATE FOR CHANGE

Chapter 4
The Widow at Zarephath
Understanding a Man's Deepest Thirst

What happened to the widow so long ago continues to happen in many marriages today. Elijah’s miraculous provision for this woman became commonplace. What once seemed like an extraordinary occurrence – flour and oil that never ran out – soon became a common blessing, so expected that it ceased to be noticed, much less appreciated. After a week or so, it was just the way things were. (49)

James 3:2
For we all stumble in many ways ...

Only one perfect man ever walked this earth, and he never married. Since every wife is married to an imperfect man, every wife will have legitimate disappointments in her marriage. Are you going to define you husband by these disappointments, or will you pray that God will open your eyes to the common blessings that your husband provides and to which you often become blinded? (53)

Don’t resent your husband for being less than perfect; he can’t be anything else. (54)

Because we so deeply value affirmation, whenever we don’t get it, it feels like living with one long, loud, psychic scream. And we tend to react like this: “If I can’t please her by trying my hardest, then why should I try at all?” I’m not saying we should react this way; I’m just saying that’s how we usually do react. (54)

Without feeling appreciated, admired, and genuinely respected, your husband probably will never change. If you notice a lot of tension in your home; if you notice a high level of frustration and anger in your husband’s life; if you sense a discouragement leading to passivity (where he underachieves); if you notice an “escapist” mentality, where he spends his free time playing computer games or watching sports, escaping the home with excessive recreation – then, more times than not, you’re looking at a man who doesn’t feel loved, appreciated, and respected. (55-56)

Your first step – the primary one – is to love, accept, and even honor your imperfect husband. (56)

Sacred Influence, part 3

The following are key passages from Sacred Influence, Chapter 3

“Be Worthy of Me”
How God Uses the Weaknesses of Others to Help Us Grow


What if your husband’s faults are God’s tools to shape you? (37)

This should be the goal of every husband and wife – a man aspiring to be “worthy” of his wife, and a wife aspiring to be “worthy” of her husband. (38)

1 Timothy 4:15, 16
Practice these things, devote yourself to them, so that all may see your progress. Keep a close watch on yourself and on the teaching. Persist in this, for by so doing you will save both yourself and your hearers.

You see when you grow in character, when you sink your spiritual roots deep, when you learn to hear God’s voice and build your mind with his wisdom, when you allow his Holy Spirit to transform your character and reshape you heart – then you can make your husband fall in love with you over and over again, and he’ll be all the more motivated to maintain your respect and affection. Nothing compares to being married to a godly woman – nothing. (39)

The reason it’s so important for you to concentrate on your own growth is so that you can avoid the sin of pride, which constantly tempts us to focus on changing our spouses while neglecting our own weaknesses. (39)

Luke 6:41-42
Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? 42How can you say to your brother, 'Brother, let me take out the speck that is in your eye,' when you yourself do not see the log that is in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take out the speck that is in your brother's eye.

When you demand that someone change for your sake, you’re literally trying to bend the world around your comfort, your needs, and your happiness. That’s pride, arrogance, and self-centeredness – and God will never bless that. (41)

Sacred Influence, part 2

The following are key passages from Sacred Influence, Chapter 2

The Strength of a Godly Woman
Becoming Strong Enough to Address Your Husband’s “Functional Fixedness”

Dr. Melody Rhode – functional fixedness – men’s reluctance to change; men don’t normally change if what they’ve been doing seems to be working for them. (29)

You have to be willing to create an environment in which the status quo becomes more painful than the experience of positive change. (30)

If you can stand strong and secure in your identity and in your relationship with Christ, courageously making it clear how you will and will not be treated, you will be amazed to see how the respect you show yourself rubs off on your husband. (32)

When a woman stands up and says, “This will affect our relationship and my view of you,” most men will at least start listening. (32)

God’s provision and strength will help you face the consequences of obedience. God won’t leave you alone, regardless of what happens. God, not your marital status, defines your life. (32)

Melody – “A woman’s power needs to be surrendered to God and used for his purposes, not our own.” (33)

Fear gives birth to paralysis – and sometimes inaction is our greatest enemy. Marriages can slowly die from years of apathy. (34)

Deuteronomy 31:8
It is the LORD who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed."

We have to make deliberate choices; we have to be active and confront the weaknesses we see in ourselves and in each other. (36)

Sacred Influence, part 1

Gary Thomas' book Sacred Influence is unique among the Christian marriage books. It was written for women who seek to worship God through their lives and marriage by a man who values women as sisters-in-Christ but who also has an insider's view as to how men desire to be treated. I've read through a number of books (or potions thereof) that attempted to be a how-to on how to motivate husbands to be more loving and spiritual, etc. I was distressed that many (if not most) of the methods prescribed bordered on manipulation. Thomas avoids such tactics altogether and emphasizes that a wife must first examine her own life before she attempts to remove a speck in her husband's eye.

If her marriage is to change for the better, she must let God begin that change in her own life.

Taking the basic premise that marriage is meant to make us holy, not necessarily happy, from his book, Sacred Marriage, Thomas applies it directly to the wife. Not in a harsh, scolding, pulpit-thumping manner. On the contrary. In fact, Thomas' heart was moved for wives who find themselves one-flesh with husbands who are emotionally distant or selfish or condescending or negligent or all of the above. No woman is married to a perfect man, thus, she should never expect him to be perfect. In all of this, Thomas hopes that wives will turn to God to fulfill all of their needs.

Over the following days I will be posting highlights of each of Thomas' chapters. I strongly encourage every woman to obtain a copy of this book so that she might be humbled and empowered in her walk with God, particularly in how she interacts with the one she has chosen to love for the rest of her days.


PART 1
YOUR MARRIAGE MAKEOVER BEGINS WITH YOU

Chapter 1
The Glory of a Godly Woman
Understanding Who You Are in Christ


definition of self:

• based on the Fall – “I’m worthy because men like me.”

• based on your relationship with God – “I’m worthy because I’m made in the image of God, am loved by God, and am regularly empowered by God to make a difference in this world.” (22)
  

How the Bible views women:

• Women mirror God’s own character and image
• Co-regents of the world
• Included in Christ's genealolgy
• Praised for recognizing Jesus as Lord while Pharisees and Disciples scoffed
• Of equal value in the eyes of God
• Supported Jesus in his most trying moments
• First to witness the resurrected Christ (22-25)
  

You need to

1. understand the glory of being a woman made in God’s image;
2. experience the strength you have as the recipient of his Holy Spirit;
3. and find refuge in the worth and purpose you have as his daughter. (26)
   

God, not your marital status or the condition of your marriage, defines your life. (26)

When Marriage Becomes Idolatry:
In this section, Thomas asks the following questions to point wives away from depending on their husbands to be as God to them.

Who is your refuge?

Deuteronomy 33:27
The eternal God is your dwelling place,
and underneath are the everlasting arms.
And he thrust out the enemy before you
and said, Destroy.

In whom does your hope lie?

1 Peter 1:21
who through him are believers in God, who raised him from the dead and gave him glory, so that your faith and hope are in God.

Where will you find security?

Philippians 4:19
And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.

Where will you find supreme acceptance that will never fade or falter for all the days of your life?

Isaiah 62:5
For as a young man marries a young woman,
so shall your sons marry you,
and as the bridegroom rejoices over the bride,
so shall your God rejoice over you.

If you’re trying to find your primary refuge in your husband, if you’ve centered your hope on him, if your security depends on his approval, and if you will do almost anything to gain his acceptance – then you’ve just given to a man what rightfully belongs to God alone. (27)

In addition, how will you ever find the courage to confront someone whose acceptance so determine your sense of well-being that you believe you can’t exist without him? How will you ever take the risk to say what needs to be said if you think your future depends on your husband’s favor toward you? (27)

astounded

An excerpt from Gary Thomas' Sacred Influence:

Elyse Fitzpatrick, a counselor, once told her small group about how God had moved her from a legalistic, works-oriented faith to a "grace-filled, peaceful existence with my merciful heavenly Father."

"The pressure is off me," she told them. "Don't get me wrong; it's not that I'm not pursuing holiness. It's just that I know that my Father will get me where He wants me to be and that even my failures serve, in some way, to glorify Him. My relationship with God is growing to be all about His grace, His mercy, His power."

Then Elyse's friend "astounded" her by responding, "That must be such a blessing for your husband, Elyse. To be walking in that kind of grace must enable you to be so patient and so grace-filled with Phil. To know that God is working in him just as He's working in you must make your marriage so sweet and your husband so pleased. It must be great for hiim to know that the pressure is off for him too."

The reason this friend "astounded" Elyse is because Elyse rarely made the connection her friend made. "I scarcely ever extended to Phil the grace I enjoyed with the Lord. Instead, I was frequently more like the man in Jesus' parable, who after he was forgiven a great debt, went out and beat his fellow slave because he owed him some paltry sum."

it was good: making art to the glory of God

Bustard, Ned, ed. It Was Good: Making Art to the Glory of God. Baltimore: Square Halo Books, 2000.

Christian periodicals in the 1980s and 90s were peppered with reports of sacrilegious works of art that were being funded by American tax dollars. Conservative Christians by and large shunned the arts as a result, counting it off as pagan and crude. The image of the crucifix in a jar filled with urine triggered gag reflexes. Blood boiled when Christians read of Karen Finley smearing her nude body with chocolate and proudly proclaiming it “art”. In the midst of this debauchery, Christians yearned for “whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise” (Philippians 4:8). Christian art became confined to cute depictions of Bible stories, praise songs, and Christian historical romance novels. Looking back, some Christians now observe that in the process of shunning evil, they ignored their embrace of the mediocre.

What exactly is good Christian art? What was it about God’s creation that made him pronounce it “good” at the end of the day? Editor Ned Buster and twelve other Christians in the arts take a different approach to many Christian books addressing Christians’ place in the arts to examine biblical perspectives of the actual act of creating art. It Was Good: Making Art to the Glory of God is a compilation of essays covering a range of important issues Christian artists must consider when demonstrating God’s creativity as men and women made in God’s image. The chapters cover the topics of good, evil, form and content, community, glory, subject and theme, Christ, identity, creativity, light, truth, symbolism, and imagination. Together, they make an inspiring resource for any Christian concerned about how they may glorify God by creating works of excellence with their minds and hands.

Bustard begins the “conversation” by addressing the issue of good. To understand the concept of good one must understand the attributes of God, for all of his attributes (his justice, mercy, etc.) may be summed up in truth that God is good. He reveals his goodness to man in creation, redemption, and his providence. The world has a limited view of goodness. They are like fish who only know the wet sand at the bottom of the sea. However, those who are redeemed and found in Christ have a broader perspective of the world just like the turtle that emerges from the sea to sun himself on the dry sand. Bustard encourages Christians to build a strong foundation concerning their understanding of good. To do so, he urges Christian artists to study God’s attributes as he is revealed in the Scriptures. God’s goodness may also be known when believers regularly engage in Christian “fellowship, prayer, and the sacraments.” An artist must know goodness before he can express it in his craft.

Christian artists have the responsibility of revealing God’s goodness to the world in a balanced manner. Too many “Christian artists” equate good with sweet and nice. Their work is sugar-coated and lacking in balance. If you are portraying God’s mercy, is his justice also apparent? Bustard puts forth Michaelangelo’s Last Judgment as a worthy example. On one side of the painting Christ is condemning sinners to their punishment in hell. However, on the other side Jesus beckons to the elects to find their rest forever with him in eternity. The work, centered on Christ, offers a balanced view of a good God who necessarily hates evil.

“It is out of the life-giving understanding that humanity is far worse off than we think and God’s grace extends far beyond that which we can imagine, that we can produce good fruit that is rich in the fullness of our humanity” (p. 26). As sinners redeemed by the grace of God, Christian artists ought to be consumed with reflecting God through their lives and work. Understanding God’s goodness and man’s lack thereof, enables them to creatively find ways to reveal God’s nature and truth to a world in darkness. Bustard ends his chapter with the charge given by Paul to the Galatians, “let us not grow weary of doing good.”

The following chapters by various men and women dedicated to glorifying God in all aspects of their lives offer both theoretical and practical advice for those who wish to do the same in the arts.

• William Edgar counters Bustard’s chapter with an artists perspective on how to portray the reality of evil in the world.

• Painter Makato Fujimura challenges artists to allow content to drive their form; just as their identity is found in Christ, their art (like their lives) must represent the message of God.

• The need for fellowship among the body of Christ is the topic of David Giardiniere’s chapter in which he rebukes those who isolate themselves, neither giving to nor receiving from the communion of the saints.

• Pastor of Redeemer Presbyterian in Philadelphia, Tim Keller explains to readers why it is the church needs the aid of artists to help them understand truth and assist in their worship.
  

• Edward Knipper uses several artists’ examples of how to communicate the truth of the gospel plain in art through subject matter and theme.
  

• Charlie Peacock-Ashworth instructs artists in the art of glorifying God not only in the making of their art but also in the living of their lives.
  

• Theodore Prescott cautions artists to find their identity in Christ rather than conforming to the world’s (or the church’s) perception of what they ought to be.
  

• James Romaine examines Michelangelo’s Trinity-inspired work of creativity on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel.

• Photographer Krystyna Sanderson writes not only about the practical use of light in her work, but also of the symbolic quality of light pointing to the Light of the World.
  

• Steve Scott emphasizes the commitment of Christian artists to Truth in a culture that rejects it.

• Gaylen Stewart tackles the task of using symbolism to communicate and connect with the audience.

Each of these chapters cover different topics by different authors who use different mediums to communicate to the world their worship of the Creator.

Gregory Wolfe, founder and editor of Image: A Journal of the Arts and Religion, concludes the book with his chapter on the imagination. “It is my conviction that the Christian community, despite its many laudable efforts to preserve traditional morality and the social fabric, has abdicated its stewardship of culture and, more importantly, has frequently chosen ideology rather than imagination when approaching the challenges of the present” (p. 260). Wolfe claims that it is the imagination that truly communicates and develops understanding, and those Christians holding on to tradition rather than engaging the present culture’s imagination have broken down the communication barrier. The West has been reduced to politics and ideology, everyone shouting and fighting from power … no one actually communicating. “The imagination calls us to leave our personalities behind and to temporarily inhabit another’s experience, looking at the world with new eyes” (266). Wolfe concludes that the art of Christians will only be effective if it achieves “an new synthesis between the condition of the world around us and the unique ways in which grace can speak to that condition” (267).

One might find the cover of the It Was Good a bit daunting with its long list of contributing authors, however, this book is invaluable as a unique resource that is filled with practical of examples of men and women who are actually engaging the culture for the glory of God. The personal stories, descriptions of works of art whether their own or another’s, black and white as well as color reproductions all serve to encourage the minister, artist, and layman that Christians are, in fact, making a difference by producing visual, audible, and verbal works that point people to Christ.

Novelist, Ron Hansen is presented as one such contemporary example of an artist who is a “steward of the culture”. He engages the imaginations of both believers and nonbelievers in his novel Mariette in Ecstacy (published in 1992) by delving into the little known world of convents and the bizarre phenomenon of the stigmata. Hansen effectively ties all the topics covered in the chapter together in order to challenge one’s view of spirituality. Hansen does not play the role of the removed narrator who shares the story as actual propaganda for his agenda. Instead the reader, due to the masterful writing of the author, finds himself to be an observer of the events free of authorial commentary on how the reader ought to perceive the events. One is permitted to side with the conclusions of various characters throughout the story, whether it’s awe of the young woman’s devout (almost erotic) love for her Savior, fear of the unknown, or disdain. Either way, the audience is engaged in a realm where good, evil, form and content, glory, subject and theme, Christ, creativity, light, truth, and symbolism all connect with the imagination pointing readers to God and his glory.

The only apparent fault of this book is the lack of detailed citation. Original authors are always given their credit, but at times without mentioning which text the quote was taken from and never a page number. Someone who might find a particular quote inspiring might have to wade through the murky waters of an entire book in order to find the context in which that quote was made (if, that is, the reader even knows what book the quote may be found in). This proves unhelpful for those who wish to deepen their understanding of a topic.

The church has a lot of ground to retrieve as a result of their retreat from the culture. Church leaders must encourage their people in developing their talent and skill to use for the church and to transform and redeem the culture around them. Reading It Was Good helps one to think about one’s life as a Christian. Are you an artist and separately a Christian? Or does your faith permeate every area of your life. Is your worldview so transformed by the work of the Holy Spirit in your life that you wish to see the culture around you redeemed, transformed through freedom from sin in Christ? The theoretical and practical advice given by the contributing authors inspires believers to be creative for the glory of God. The personal experiences shared encourage those who desire to engage the culture and uplift the church. Whether you read one essay or the entire book, your heart will be ministered to and your faith will be challenged to grow and reveal itself creatively to manifest God’s magnificence.

In conclusion, the church must heed the warning of Gregory Wolfe in the final statement of the book: “Unless we contribute to the renewal of culture by participating in the life of art in our own time, we will find that the barbarians have entered by gates that we ourselves have torn down.”

remember Marriable?

Remember the book Marriable and the Singles Awareness Day event back in February? Well, my friends the DiMarcos have been hard at work to create some follow-up books, thus creating a Marriable series.

The Art of the First Date: Because Dating’s Not a Science—it’s an Art

The Art of Rejection: Because Dating’s Not a Science—it’s an Art

Check out their other books at Hungry Planet.

Women and the Church

Mabery-Foster, Lucy. Women and the Church. Nashville: Thomas Nelson Publishers, 1999.

In Women and the Church, Lucy Mabery-Foster provides a much needed resource for local churches and para-church organizations. She recognizes the need for leaders in churches across America to minister to the needs of women, who make up a majority of their congregations. In the pages of this book, Mabery-Foster covers the topics ranging from challenges involved in women’s ministries, biblical perspectives of the role of women in the church and society, feminism and its affects on modern Christianity, the unique needs of women in the church and how to meet them, and the establishment and building of women’s ministries.

Mabery-Foster begins by convincing the reader of the need to address women’s issues in the church. Whether one is a pastor, lay-leader, or concerned Christian, one can only benefit from a better understanding of caring for the unique needs of women, particularly as times and ideologies change. She then shifts into introducing arguments concerning views of biblical womanhood, examining different interpretations of hierarchy and roles within the church, and asking the question of whether or not feminism is biblical. Once believers truly know where they stand on these issues, they can effectively minister to the needs of women in the church. These unique needs must be met by helping women take responsibility for their actions and emotions by placing them under the lordship of Christ and counseling women who are hurting. Mabery-Foster further details how one might meet the needs of single women, married women, working women, and ethnic women. Taking all of the above into consideration, it becomes obvious for the necessity of establishing a women’s ministry in the local church. The author lays out an outline of how to develop a discipleship program for women, followed by tips on how to raise up leaders for the ministry using Old Testament examples of and New Testament guidelines for godly leadership. Leaders in women’s ministries, Mabery-Foster concludes, must develop a philosophy of ministry that ministers to the whole woman: providing fellowship, discipleship, and growth in the women of the local church.

Throughout the book Mabery-Foster addresses issues involving women’s ministry that were not prevalent twenty years ago. Divorce has become the norm. More women are working outside the home. America’s transient society has displaced many women away from their families once they are on their own. Such issues cannot be ignored when working with women in the church. Rather than alienating women who do not fit the traditional mold of what evangelicals once thought Christian women ought to be, Mabery-Foster asserts that these are the very women that need to feel a part of that ministry. While the traditional family ideal appears to be crumbling, the church must provide the fellowship, encouragement, counsel, and growth that women need within the family of God.

Many modern women are confused about their roles in the home, society, and the church. Feminism has swept through our society and has permeated the church. The consequences of Eve’s sin have affected all generations following her. It does not appear, however, that Eve’s “desire” for her husband has affected society at large to such an extent as it has the past thirty years. In response to feminism, Mabery-Foster does not deny woman’s responsibility in the Fall of mankind. She masterfully works through the Scriptures to reveal God’s design in the creation order and the joy found in submitting to the authority found therein. Yet, feminists seem bent on seeing Christian faith through the lenses of their assumption that men and women are equal in all respect. Mabery-Foster points out that as a result of their presuppositions, feminists deny the doctrine of Scripture, the doctrine of God, and the doctrine of humanity. Even “evangelical feminists”, in order to maintain their position, must make such statements as “Paul was wrong.”

Below are listed three particularly relevant quotes from the book to women’s ministry:

• “[T]he wife’s submission is not to be an unthinking obedience to her husband’s harsh rule but rather a grateful acceptance of his care.” (47)

• “We must teach our women to embrace their singleness, developing themselves to the fullest of their potential in Christ, believing that God’s highest goal for them is to glorify Him—while waiting on His timing to place them in relationships of His choosing.” (165)

• “Another problem is that young couples today try to draw all their emotional support from each other, since the extended families are so far removed, and this puts more stress on their relationship. No two people can supply everything that each other needs. People need people—people whom they can depend on for maturing them in their faith, for encouragement, for advice, for support, and for accountability.” (206)

Lucy Mabery-Foster’s study in chapter five regarding the role of women according to the New Testament is stellar. While most feminists and many evangelicals tend to place a negative connotation on the term submit, Mabery-Foster shows that Paul and Peter were not demeaning women, but rather, the Apostles affirmed women as created in God’s image, co-heirs with Christ, equal in receiving the gift of salvation and spiritual gifts, and complimentary to men in their roles as women in the home and church. Women do not submit to men as one would to a tyrant. Instead, Men are commanded to love their wives as Christ loves the church. Husbands have authority over their wives, just as Christ has authority over the church … not as tyrant, but as Savior (Ephesians 5:23). Mabery-Foster asserts Christ’s headship is not characterized by his lordship, but rather by his “saviorhood.”(46) Such love! Such sacrifice! Who would not desire to submit oneself under the headship of such a One? Thus a woman submits to her husband out of “grateful acceptance of his care”(47), not out of blind, unwilling obedience to tyranny.

Throughout the text Mabery-Foster rebukes feminists for reading Scripture through the lens of how they want to perceive Scripture in light of their own views. They twist Scripture to fit their views or reject its teachings entirely when they do not match their beliefs. What is truth in Scripture? Or is it all relative? Mabery-Foster stands for the Bible in all areas, except when it comes to her own situation, it seems. A professor at Dallas Theological Seminary, as well as, a speaker at pastor conferences and seminars, Mabery-Foster justifies her having authority over men in matters of teaching the Bible by stating that Paul’s commands do not extend to organizations outside the local church.(62-63) Such an argument seems faulty when considering that at the time of Paul’s writing there were no para-church ministries. Surely, anything involving the ministry of preaching and teaching God’s Word then pertained to his exhortation regarding women’s roles not to excercise the authority of teaching Scripture to men.

Despite that one inconsistency, Mabery-Foster writes a very fine book that ought to be on the required reading list for all seminary students, on the shelves of all pastors, and in the hands of all women who desire to be leaders in their churches’ women’s ministry. Because women make up the majority of church congregations, not to mention 55% of the nation’s population, ministers of the gospel must understand the special needs women have. Women and the Church is not written with a female audience in mind but for all who desire to effectively minister to the entire body of Christ.