go white boy

I figure if Nikki could invite the New Kids on the Block to her birthday party, I'm going to ask this guy to come to mine. Now THAT would be a fun party.

Go White Boy Watch it now on StupidVideos!

walking in the clouds with my eyes on the earth

dreamt last night
beautiful horrible

living a fairytale
walking in the midst of enchanted forests
talking with giants and elves

a mere dream not real
figments of my imagination not real
not real

torn

revel in it abhor it
embrace it flee it

can't wake up still sleeping

beautiful horrible

no wonder people are scared of clowns!

Kung-Fu Clowns Watch it now on StupidVideos!

what's up with all the guys fainting?!!

Click here for a funny video. Okay, I said "funny" but I'm really concerned for these guys.

priceless

i know ... i know ... they have nothing to do with each other ...

One of a Kind Watch it now on StupidVideos!

the amazing regurgitator

Stevie Starr Watch it now on StupidVideos!

Dear Rabby ...

Before I could recommend him to my readers I decided to give his advice column a shot. Having heard that he has a peculiar stance when it comes to men and women being "just friends" ... I thought I'd stick it to the Honorable Earl. P. Rabbit (affectionately known as Rabby).

I posed as a woman with a common problem ... attraction to a guy who is "just a friend". I was satisfied with his candid response and feel obliged to refer all my readers to address their concerns to Rabby.

His manner of speech and writing may seem "unrefined" ... but he has a heart of gold and will tell you up front from his 33 years of life experience what he has learned when it comes to matters of the heart.

Here is a segment from his reply:

So yer sayin' you like bein' a pair of oranges with this boy but sometimes you'd ruther be a pair of bananas? An this boy likes bein' oranges but not bananas? If'n that's the case you need to make a decis, deci, dec -- you need to say "What will hurt me more, if'n we stay oranges an then he finds himself someone else to be a banana with, or if'n I say 'I don't want to be oranges with you no more becuz it hurts too much that I want to be a banana with you but you don't.' "

Please address your queries to Dear Rabby ...

Apple ... not the kind you eat ...

I love my Mac. Click here.

more about beth ...

This is a post from back in the archives about my friend Beth who I visited this weekend ... we found ways to make college fun ... somewhat within the boundaries of the rules.


for all of you non-PCCites out there, I feel like I should explain myself ... lest any of you begin to question my morals.  I'm refering to the "college incident" ... now don't let your wild imaginations get the best of you.

... here's how it all went down:

My senior year of college I became involved in the drama department of Pensacola Christian College.  I played such interesting characters as the elegantly seductive Snow Queen (boys begged me to do that beckoning motion with my hand, and talk soon spread around boys' dorms about the girl with blue lips ... the Student Body President even offered to let me kidnap him--hey, back off, will ya?!!  i was acting ... ), then there was Miss Spider from James and the Giant Peach (without informing the director, I went out on a limb and died my long hair bright ruby red ... I was going for a shocking Audrey Hepburn look with my vintage black dress and hat with the accent of red ... however, someone who saw the show thought my face looked more like Michael Jackson ...), and then there was Matilda Livingstone (in Lena Rivers--a romantic comedy).

I knew the role was in the bag.  By this time I had it figured out ... I had been type cast ... the drama department figured that I made a great snob.  Kind of like poor Jamie Brown could be nothing but an "old man".  Matilda was the epitome of Southern Genteel sophistication that would stop at nothing to see her children in the best circles.  And then her country bumpkin niece moves in and ruins all of her plans.

There was nothing cool about my costume in this play ... I had no control.  The other two roles i had contributed a lot to my character's image ... but each time I tried to put my two cents into this one .. my "wrist was slapped".  As the Costume Designer handed me the combination of thriftstore rejects she had put together, I cringed ... but silently went to go find a spot to change.  (Hopefully no one would see me).

The drama department is on the other side of the Fine Arts building.  So I felt fairly certain my friends working in the art labs that night wouldn't catch a glimpse of me as I dashed across the hall to the ladies' faculty bathroom (off limits to students ... oops!  they were all at home anyway).  I changed and left my change of clothes in the bathroom and dashed back to be poked and pinned by the "seamstress."

"Christine, we need you on stage for Act 2 Scene 3."

"But i'm being pinned ... "

"They can finish it later, c'mon"

An hour and a half later, I finally headed back to the restroom to change back into my clothes.

left ... right ... left ... no one around ... dash ... phew! .... flip ... close ... lock.

When I switched the lights on ... I couldn't believe my eyes.  I opened the door again and poked my head out ... no one ...

WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES!!!

Someone suggested after hearing this story that I just wear the costume back to my room.  Sure, everything is crystal clear when seeing hindsight ...

Instead ... I hid in the bathroom and waited for the Art building to close.  I heard security as they checked the classrooms and turned off the lights.  after I was convinced that everyone had left I returned my costume to the sewing room and made a mad dash for the doors (there are rumors of security cameras being everywhere).  Everyone was already in their dorms (due to the 10pm curfew) ... but then ... "do do doododoodo" (wicked witch themesong) ... a security guard might ride by on his/her bike.  When the coast was clear, I, garbed only in my undergaments (thank God I was wearing panty hose--otherwise i could get demerits), made a dash for the bushes across from my dorm. The desk worker having seen me sent two floor leaders out to bring me in ... ha ... What do you say when asked what you're doing out after hours in the "buff" (or pretty close to it anyway)?!!

At least that's the story I told my friend Beth.

When I went back to the faculty bathroom to change back into my clothes ... yes, my clothes were gone ... but there was another set of clothing in their place.  I realized that I recognized them.  They were Beth's ... the friend I had gone to dinner with just a few hours earlier ... ha!  What a great joke!  And she must be wearing my clothes!  This made it even more comical.  You see, she is one of the tiniest people you will ever meet: 5'1" size 0.  And she was walking around somewhere with my humongous clothes meant for a 6'1" amazon princess on.

Knowing that I would have to go out on stage again before night was over I quickly put her clothes on.  Looking in the mirror I could only wish that she looked as ridiculous as I did.  Before going back on stage, I made a dash for the art labs.

Had anyone seen beth?

no ... Christine, was that what you were wearing earlier today?

No. These are Beth's clothes.

Beth had left for the evening it seemed and I was stuck with her skirt up around my abdomen trying to keep her top from showing my midrift.  It was all too funny ... and to see the faces of my fellow actors ... ha ha.

Well, I called Beth when I got to my room later that night.  I told her my "streaking" story and asked if she knew what had happened to my clothes ... yeah, She had them ... didn't i see her clothes lying there?

"I don't know what you're talking about, Beth.  All I know was that my clothes were GONE!  What else was I supposed to do?"

"Are you serious?!!"

It nearly knocked Beth off her feet when she walked in my room and sure enough I was stripped down to my undergarments AND pantyhose (thank God for those).

Well, word got around about the prank.  And the guys all thought it was the greatest joke ever.

... but then the yearbooks came out.  The guys ran up to me and opened the book to my senior portrait.  It looked as if i had no clothes on ...

good times ... good times ...

MY 101st POST!

ah, it's good to get away sometimes ... you know?

I spent the weekend with my good friends Beth and Jon. Both work at Answers in Genesis a ministry dedicated to promoting Creation Science. AIG is currently constructing a magnificent museum designed to be more like a theme park than a stuffy, old "bone house". The tentative opening date is Spring 2007. From what I've seen already, it's bound to be a treat ... life size T-Rex, a walk through Genesis that climaxes at the Cross, everything is top rate ... including their two new employees.

My best friend once told me after she got out of an illustration class that she was going to one day marry an artist by the name "Twachtman" ... Mrs. Twachtman ... I had never seen his work until this weekend in Cincinnati at the Art Museum ... I fell in love with the long, rough strokes and the palette of blues and grays and greens ... sort of morose, melancholy, introspective ... but now my friend's getting married to someone else whose last name isn't nearly as fun to say.

While on my sabbatical this week, I've learned that God ... in a way ... is like France ... hmm. See if you can make the connection.

listen to Nickel Creek's cover of "Toxic" at http://www.musiccherry.com/archives/13%20Toxic.mp3

i must go

Taking some time off. Going away for a bit.


I Must Go
by Late Tuesday

chorus:

I must go, I must leave this place
I have somewhere to go
I have a new road to follow
I must go, and though I wish I could stay
There is something beyond what I see
I must go

103 and Other Things

My heart is empty it is broken
My mind is restless it is torn
And all the thoughts inside me run rampant
And my doubts are all the words I can afford

Within the caverns of my intellect
I am screaming for reprieve
From the rebellion that keeps me from surrender
From a future that you hold I can't believe

Praise the Lord, oh my soul
Oh heart that is within me praise the power of His name
Praise the Lord, oh my soul
Oh heart that is within me praise His wisdom and His grace
When I know nothing more tell my soul to praise the Lord

Amidst the pain of my diseases
Will I believe that you are good?
And just to those who have known such oppression
Is your love enough to melt away my fear?

Praise the Lord, oh my soul
Oh heart that is within me praise the power of His name
Praise the Lord, oh my soul
Oh heart that is within me praise His wisdom and His grace
When I know nothing more tell my soul to praise the Lord

~ Late Tuesday

a blast of whale proportions

waiting for the bus

What's your favorite word? Blubber? I personally prefer "plethora."
Click here.

the chronicWHATcles of narnia

Grab a cupcake and catch a movie with these SNL "rappers".

Watch Lazy Sunday.

world turned upside down

Habakkuk 1:1-5; 3:17-19

Thesis Statement: Remembering God's faithfulness will allow one to rejoice despite unanswered questions.

Introduction:
"Why have you brought me to live in this forsaken hole?!!" "Why have you allowed entire communities to be swept away by Hurricane Katrina?" "Why am I still single?" "Why are innocent people suffering for their faith in Sudan?"

Ah, the many unanswered questions that we lift up to God daily ... If you have felt that your world had turned upside down, leaving you looking to God for answers, you’re in good company. Job, Moses, and David are all common figures that looked to God for answers to their difficult questions. But very few realize that the prophet Habakkuk had this same struggle. Even though his complaint went relatively unanswered, he remembered God's faithfulness and praised Him nonetheless. Today we will study both Habakkuk’s attitude and response to a world turned upside down.

Life for a citizen of Judah around 600 B.C. was anything but enjoyable, especially if you were loyal to Yahweh. Josiah, the righteous ruler, had died in battle with the king of Egypt in an attempt to keep him from coming to the aid of Judah’s mortal enemy. Assyria. Judah became a vassal state to Egypt, to be governed by Josiah’s evil son Jehoiakim. The book of 2 Kings describes Jehoiakim as a tyrant who shed innocent blood in Jerusalem. The prophet Jeremiah describes him as a brutal despot whose only interest was to enlarge his own palace. The law was in the hands of evil men, and the danger of Babylonian Empire was looming at Judah’s backdoor. It is in this setting that Habakkuk prayed these words:

Read along with me as I read aloud from Habakkuk chapter one, beginning in verse two.

Habakkuk's Complaint

2 O Lord, how long shall I cry for help,
and you will not hear?
Or cry to you “Violence!”
and you will not save?
3 Why do you make me see iniquity,
and why do you idly look at wrong?
Destruction and violence are before me;
strife and contention arise.
4 So the law is paralyzed,
and justice never goes forth.
For the wicked surround the righteous;
so justice goes forth perverted.

The cries of Habakkuk could very well be heard in the hearts of God’s people today, wouldn’t you agree? Sin goes unchecked and the wicked prosper. It’s enough to cause anger and bitterness to well up in anyone’s soul. However, that was NOT Habakkuk’s attitude in this passage. He was not jealous of the wicked. He was not out for revenge. No. He brought these questions before God because he saw the Lord’s reputation at stake. How could the holy Judge of all the earth allow sin to flourish? Both Isaiah and Paul rebuked those who behaved as a clay pot taking fault with its maker.

In Romans 9:20, Paul wrote, “Who indeed are you … to argue with God?”

Instead, Habakkuk’s questions were expressions of loyalty. Like the psalmists who cried out for deliverance from their enemies, He is not so much crying out for himself but so that God’s name would be vindicated and thus glorified among the nations. He’s beseeching the Lord who promised in Exodus that he would “not acquit the guilty” to keep His word.

Don’t be afraid to God with your questions. Just be sure that your attitude is one of passionate loyalty to God. As your world turns upside down,

Run to God with your complaints.

However, be aware that the answer He gives you may not be one that you expected. Let’s look now at verse five in chapter one.

The Lord's Answer

5 “Look among the nations, and see;
wonder and be astounded.
For I am doing a work in your days
that you would not believe if told.

Wait a moment! What was it that Habakkuk was asking?! “How long shall Ii cry for help and you will not hear me?” And God answers, look, see, be astounded … you wouldn’t believe it even if I told you?! What kind of answer is that?!!

This month marks the 3 year anniversary of when I began to look for a job. I would be graduating in a few short months and I wanted a head start in getting a good position as a high school art and history teacher when I graduated. Nothing. No one was hiring for the jobs I wanted. I attended my college’s teacher recruitment conference, knowing that this was going to be where God was going to work. I walked into that auditorium looking well, very smart. With my resumes in hand, I walked up to each booth, put on my most flashing smile and said,


“Hello! My name is Christine Hnat. I understand you’re hiring History teachers. Does your school also have an art program? No? Well, I have been trained here at this college to offer you an art program that would be both cost efficient and yet uphold standards of excellence. … You’re not interested? Well, thank you for your time.”

And on I would move to the next booth. I was Sales-Pitch Barbie. After three hours of selling myself and no takers, I threw in the towel. I left the building determined it was a waste of time to go back.

I checked my mailbox in the commons area and was surprised to find a note from one of the school’s administrators … someone I hadn’t spoken with. Sigh. Another school looking only for a history teacher. I decided to return, but this time Barbie could stay in her box.

“Hi. You sent me this? I understand you’re interested in hiring history teachers.”

“Ah, yes … Christine Hnat,” said the little woman looking at my name tag. “Aren’t you also an art teacher?”

Gasp! It had to have been God!

That Spring I visited Savannah to get a personal look at the school. I hated it. The school was run down and shabby, the other teachers had taken me out to dinner but hadn’t spoken a single word to me, and all I had seen of “beautiful” Savannah was trailer parks and Walmart. And the church … the church was so dead spiritually.

I told God then and there that I wouldn’t take the job even if they begged me! Why had he brought me there?!!!

But God had other plans. I did get an opportunity to go to down to the beautiful historic district of Savannah. As the car drove closer and closer to the heart of town, I pressed my nose against the car windows enthralled with the beauty of Victorian architecture, hanging Spanish moss, and parks … lots of parks. I all of a sudden felt like I was home … it was a little Europe right there in Georgia of all places!

It was then that the Lord spoke to me. “I want you here.”

“But Lord … the job! You know my heart!”

“I will provide. I have a purpose for you here.”

It was not a direct answer … but my hardened heart melted and I trusted in God’s faithfulness. As the Lord said to Isaiah, “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways.”

When your world turns upside down, run to God with your complaints, remember His answers may not be what you expected, and in response … rest in God’s faithfulness.

Turn now to Habakkuk chapter three verse seventeen.

Habakkuk Rejoices in the Lord

17 Though the fig tree should not blossom,
nor fruit be on the vines,
the produce of the olive fail
and the fields yield no food,
the flock be cut off from the fold
and there be no herd in the stalls,
18 yet I will rejoice in the Lord;
I will take joy in the God of my salvation.
19 God, the Lord, is my strength;
he makes my feet like the deer's;
he makes me tread on my high places.

To the choirmaster: with stringed instruments.

The summer after I accepted that teaching job in Savannah, Georgia, I went home to Germany on fire for what the Lord was going to do through me and my new students. The school was going taking care of my housing and insurance. I had a car waiting for me there. And I was determined that I would make friends with all the teachers there. God had been so good in providing me that job. He had a purpose in having me there.

Three days before I was to fly from Germany to Savannah, I received a phone call from the school’s secretary.

“Miss Hnat? I’m so sorry to inform you that the school will be closing do to financial difficulties and will not be re-opening this school year.”

What?!! Was this God’s way of “taking care” of a job He knew I really didn’t want? I didn’t quite know how to react … so I laughed hysterically with joy! The Lord had answered the prayers of my heart that I had been afraid to utter. He truly had provided! But then reality set in. Where would I work? Where would I live? What was I going to do?

For two days I frantically searched the internet for employment at another school … but who’s looking for teachers two weeks before school starts? I even thought about going to seminary. On July 30, 2003, my finger was inches away from pressing the send button on the fax machine ready to fax away my application to Southern Baptist Theological Seminary … when the Lord spoke again.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m going to seminary. I’ll study and be able to share your Word so much more effectively.”

“I told you to go to Savannah. I told you I have a purpose for you there.”

I didn’t have a job. I didn’t have a place to live. I had nothing, when I walked off of the plane into Savannah, Georgia. Nothing, but my green Volkswagen Beetle that was waiting for me.

My head was not hanging down in dread or despair. No. My eyes were bright with anticipation. I was living an adventure that God had planned for my life. I didn’t know what his purpose for me was. It would be too much for me if I did know. I had nothing. The fig tree did not blossom. There was no fruit on the vines. The olive had failed.

And yet, I rejoiced. Because God is faithful.

I thought back on all the times my family and I depended on Him and He saw us through. My mind went back to the miracles He worked in the wilderness for the Hebrews. That was my God. And because my God is faithful, I didn’t shake my fist up at heaven in wrath demanding to know why God had brought me here. No, I rested in the knowledge that He is my salvation, He is my strength.

And wouldn’t you know it … I arrived in Savannah on a Saturday. But Tuesday I signed a contract with a Christian High School was more than happy to hire an art teacher. On Thursday, I moved into a lovely apartment. And that next Sunday, the Lord led me to a wonderful church family that I called home for two years. God is good. He is faithful.

When your world turns upside down …

1. Run to God with your complaints

2. Remember God may respond unexpectedly

3. Rest in God's faithfulness

I can tell that some of you are skeptical. You don’t know this God. You don’t know if He is sure to keep his promises. Ladies, don’t take my word for it. Don’t take Habakkuk’s word for it. You have the entire Scriptures at your fingertips. Start in Genesis to know your Creator. Read Exodus, Joshua, Judges to know your Guide and Protector. Read the Psalms to know the one who has won the victory over you. Read the Prophets to know the promised King. And then when you come to the Gospels, there He is … the Promise of the ages, Jesus. God become man so that He could redeem us from our sin and reconcile us to Himself. Ask the women here in this room who claim to know him.

Is he faithful?

I urge you, ladies, if you do not know this faithful God that I speak of He is here in the Bible for you to get to know, and He is here living in the hearts of his daughters. Ask us … and we’ll be more than happy to share with you how God has been faithful in our lives, how we can run to Him with our complaints without fearing rejection, we remember that His ways are not our ways but his plans for us and His answers may be unexpected, and despite any unanswered questions we may have we rest in the knowledge that He is God and He is faithful.

Women of God who are here today, your Savior’s name is at stake. Other women at work, your neighbors, your families are all watching how you handle moments of crisis. Will you keep your faith? Will you rejoice when life doesn’t go as you planned?

Conclusion:

What a comfort to know that we serve a God, not of wood and stone, but of spirit who is the same yesterday, today, and forever. His plans, although they may be too much for us to comprehend, are good. When the world seems to be turned upside down, will you remember His faithfulness? Will you rejoice in the Lord despite the unknown?

they're watching

You should be a bit more careful. People are watching you. Click here.

Singles' Awareness Day Event

"Babble of the Sexes- a public rant about desperate dating habits and the opposite sex"

Hosted by the witty (and bordering on irreverent) Hayley and Michael DiMarco, best-selling authors of the book "Marriable- Taking the Desperate Out of Dating"

Topics include-

-Shut Up and Be Mysterious
-Nice Guys Really Do Finish Last
-Desperate Lies Women Tell Themselves
-How Being 'Just Friends' Is a Waste of Time
-a lively (and anonymous) Q & A time

Share February 14th with your closest single friends and let Hayley and Michael put you in a festive mood on Singles Awareness Day (S.A.D.)

Sponsored by Baker Publishing Group, XYZ Church, and Hungry Planet


Cost: Free
Location: To Be Announced, Louisville, Kentucky

stand up and step up

Recent talk among the women at the seminary has begun to really concern me. I feel myself being dragged down into discontentment, even piping in with my own observations at times, as I listen to them (students, wives of students, faculty, wives of faculty, and staff) all saying the same thing: single men at the seminary are odd. They have stereotyped the male population into two groups: married and weird.

I was asked by a recent visitor during a conference this weekend if I was dating any of my fellow students … before I could answer her question, a seminarian’s wife spoke up.

“Of course she’s not! The boys here are ridiculous!”

The women have further split the category of “weird” into two sub-categories: over-zealous and lethargic. According to the ladies, it is rare to find someone within the gray area.

I’m sick of it. I’m sick of it being a topic of conversation that constantly arises when two or more women are gathered. I could always change the topic by commenting on the weather … but it will just come up some other time. Although my motives may seem odd and selfish by merely desiring to rid myself of the annoyance of conversations concerning the oddities of seminary single men, I hereby am attempting to rectify the situation by ... speaking to the men … for, obviously the women aren’t.

You may read this if you like or completely ignore it. However, I WILL NOT tolerate this topic to become one of controversy, because that is not the purpose! I will say my peace and that will be that. If you disagree with me … fine, my feelings aren't hurt. If what I have written has caused you to understand better WHAT WOMEN WANT, bravo!

what women want:

1. Women want to be noticed.

Before diving into the icy waters of the unknown (will she say “yes” if I ask her out?), there is a ritual dance that has been practiced before Solomon wrote his love song. This dance involves the man making his interest known in a relatively riskless manner by dancing these steps:

a. let her see you noticing her across the room
b. be clean and smell good
c. get to know her
d. show her you are attracted to her (“you look great today!”)
e. smile at her
f. be where she is (stalkers need not apply)
g. give her compliments
h. say something funny
i. stand tall

The lady then responds to these steps, if she accepts your offer to dance, by

a. standing a little straighter
b. looking you in the eye, then looking away, then looking back
c. making it a point to talk to you
d. moving like you (I surprisingly have found myself doing this … when I’m comfortable with someone I’ll tend to unconsciously mimic his/her stance or hand placement)
e. complimenting you (something a woman rarely gives lightly)

(If the girl does not respond with these steps, you are dealing with someone who is either not interested or shy)

Here are some example compliments a woman might enjoy hearing. (Notice that they involve compliments of who the woman is.)

1. You are so smart.
2. I love how creative you are.
3. You look amazing in that dress.
4. You are so much fun to be around.
5. I love talking to you.

Realizing that men are generally sight-sensitive by nature, make the extra effort to come up with compliments that are not limited to her appearance. Otherwise you appear shallow and un-appreciative of her true nature, her intelligence, wit, skill, humor, talent, etc.


2. Women want to be asked.

a. Ask her out in person.
b. Don’t ask a group of people and her to an event. That’s not a date. She’ll feel like she’s only one of the group.
c. Ask her out to a specific event.

i. DON’T ASK: What are you doing this weekend? Do you have plans on Thursday? I’m going to a concert tomorrow night if you want to go too.
ii. DO ASK: Would you like to go out to dinner Saturday night at 7? … or … I heard there was festival downtown this weekend, would you like to go with me Saturday afternoon?

d. If she says no, don’t ask why. It’s none of your business.
e. Never ask more than twice. (Unless she has let you know that she would welcome other opportunities to go out with you but she was buys the other times you asked.)
f. Do not ask her through a friend.
g. Ask her out for one date at a time. Don’t try and book her entire month or lifetime after the first date.
h. Be direct … none of this beating around the bush business … “I was wondering if maybe you weren’t too busy that you might be interested in perhaps sometime in the future, near or whenever, in doing something with me.” … um, No.


3. Women want a man with a plan.

Nothing’s worse than the guy who asks, “So … what do you want to do?”

“I don’t know. What do you want to do?”

A man with a plan goes from being just another guy to … “wow, what a great guy!”

A general rule of thumb is to ask her no less than 3 days before the event. For instance if the event is Friday night, the invitation should be extended no later than Wednesday. This shows consideration for her valuable time … remember she has a life, and it doesn’t revolve around you. It also gives you the time to do a smash-bang job of planning a specatacular evening.

Even the most independent women long for a man who is in control. So often in life she may feel she is carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders, and if you expect her to plan all of your dates … you’ve just added another load to her burden. How much she would give for a guy who took the time to look in the local paper or community events calendar online to find out that there was a Shakespeare-in-the-Park performance that weekend and made plans for a picnic while watching the show! That gives her the luxury of having time to daydream about you and the fun of selecting the perfect outfit for the event.

Pre-planning is huge! If you are intending to take the girl of your dreams to a movie on it’s opening night, purchase the tickets in advance. Make reservations. Make sure there’s enough gas in your car. Make sure you know exactly where you’re going. Have enough cash for the tip. Etc.

Also … be flexible. The woman understands that circumstances are unpredictable. Have a Plan B. But in any case … don’t let it frazzle you. If anything, switch it around into a good thing … don’t let unexpected events ruin your night. You’re above that.

A man with a plan makes a woman feel relaxed and appreciated.


4. Women want to be with gentlemen.

It should be a habit with you to perform gentlemanly acts of chivalry to not only your date, but all women. Remember, she’s watching you.

The effects of feminism have caused men to hesitate at performing these acts. I myself am guilty of discouraging them. A few years ago I visited my alma mater for my friends’ graduation. All of them were in the auditorium rehearsing, so I decided to go to the library. As I neared the building, I could see in my peripheral vision a guy walking towards the library from a different direction. I mentally calculated his distance, angle, and rate and was bothered when I realized that he would arrive at the library door just as I would. Ugh! There would commence that horrible, awkward moment of who’s going to open the door for whom. I didn’t feel like dealing with it that day, so I increased my pace thereby allowing plenty of time for me to get my own door. To my shock I noticed that he had also increased HIS speed (all this still being observed in the peripheral). Well, I wouldn’t have it. I sped up to a brisk walk. SO DID HE! Well, this was just ridiculous! He could have his silly door! I slowed to a meander and SO HAD HE!!! By this time, both of us were quite close to each other and I was prepared to give him a piece of my mind! I whipped around to confront …

GASP! Ethan!!!

Ha! I could have thrown my arms around him. (Many of you know why I didn’t.) We stood outside the library talking for hours, fully forgetting why either of us had been going to the library in the first place. (FYI – we weren’t dating. We had been actors in a couple of on-campus performances together. It was just nice to see an old friend.)

I still struggle with the whole door issue; but don’t let women like myself deter you from performing considerate acts of chivalry. Don’t make the woman wait for you to open the door!

If you catch sight of a woman carrying a heavy load, whether it looks like she has things under control or not, offer her your assistance. I, myself, struggle with asking anyone for help … but delight in those who offer their help.

Be cool, kind, and listen … listen.


5. Women want the pursuit to continue.

a. The man in the relationship ought to call more than the woman.
b. The man defines the relationship. Don't you dare make her bring up the DTR!
c. The man gives more. This doesn't have to empty out your savings account. Be creative. Give more of your time, etc. You are leading in the relationship. She follows your steps.

Stand up and step up to the plate and be a MAN.

(Much of the above post is under the inspiration of the chapter "Stand Up and Be a Man" of the book Marriable: Taking the Desperate Out of Dating, by Michael and Hayley DiMarco.)

sit down and shut up

“When men attempt bold gestures, generally it’s considered romantic. When women do it, it’s often considered desperate or psycho.”

Sarah Jessica Parker as Carrie
from Sex in the City

Michael and Hayley Dimarco, authors of "Marriable: taking the desperate out of dating", begin their chapter titled “Women, Shut Up and Be Mysterious” with the quote above (so don’t get it into your heads that I actually watch this HBO hit show). Their conclusions about correcting women’s destructive behavior actually concur with my own. According to the Dimarcos women tend to mess up their relationships by

1. talking too much (giving too much information at once)
2. chasing the man
3. planning everything
4. paying
5. and giving in physically

The woman has virtually climbed out of the rabbit hole and laid herself at Elmer Fudd’s feet … what’s the fun in that?!!

Instead the Dimarcos urge women to by mysterious.

1. keep part of your life to yourself
2. limit your phone calls (in time and number)
3. don’t accept last-minute dates
4. don’t whine
5. and don’t gossip

In short, women are doing entirely too much in terms of pursuit. Instead they need to sit down and shut up and let the men step up.

P.S. – You want to know if a guy likes you?
1. He asks you out.
2. He tells you he’s interested
3. He calls when he says he will.
4. He wants to be with you.
5. No matter what else is going on in his life, he will do all he can to be with you.

Sure signs he’s not interested:
1. He hasn’t asked you out.
2. He never tells you he’s interested.
3. He is too busy to do things for or with you.

mother/daughter IM conversation

Debbie says:
I was thinking about what you said about how you are not a damsel in distress.

I was not either. I was very self-sufficient. As you get older and have the heavy responsibilities of life, you really appreciate more and more the partner that you choose to go through life with because he carries some of the burdens so that you don't have to, and of course, you carry some burdens so that he won't have to.

Life is really hard, and as you face lots of challenges together, you really appreciate that you don't have to carry all the burdens alone.

That is why we really have to evaluate the man the we choose so that we can know that we can really depend on him when things get tough, which they will!

It's not that we can't do everything. It's just that it would really consume us to do everything. That is why God gives us "helpers", and we have to be confident that we are on the same wave-length as our partner so that when we are weak, then we know that he can carry on, and he can also know that he can depend on us.

I am pointing out that even though you are not [a damsel-in-distress], it would benefit you to evaluate potential partners on their ability to handle life situations. Otherwise you could possibly get stuck handling everything for the family, and like I said, being consumed in the process. I am just suggesting that you look for somebody strong and capable in matters that are important to you.

For instance, there are many years of a woman's life where she is totally engrossed with raising children, keeping the home from falling apart, dealing with church and school and community, and she has very little energy for things that she would really like to do. During this time, it is really good to have a man besider her who can handle things--instead of him being another burden on her.

christine says:
yeah, i agree with you ... that's what i want ... i know myself ... like in college how i was the "dependable" one ... and while i enjoyed it ... it took its toll on me and i snapped at one point

i'd hate to do that to the man and children i loved

Debbie says:
So--I didn't really think of it that way before marriage. I just knew I wanted somebody stronger than me because I knew that I was strong. I really like to look up to him. I know that he looks up to me in some areas, and I do the same to him. That makes both of us feel special because we have the respect of the other.

christine says:
well, i'm open to whoever God has for me ... he's going to be great ... while i was watching ice skating the other day it occured to me that i wanted someone who i knew could throw me up in the air and catch me ... if i were to fall backwards, i wouldn't have to fear, because i knew he'd be right behind me and he was strong enough to hold me up

at the same time i want to uphold him when he's tired and discouraged

Debbie says:
EXACTLY!

every kiss begins with Kay ... whatever!

I haven’t watched television in months and while visiting friends here in Savannah, I found myself watching an episode of CSI New York. During a commercial break one of the typical holiday advertisements moved before my eyes on the screen … but this time I found myself leaning forward, mouth opened in anticipation, and then flung myself back onto the couch in exasperation over the woman’s reaction to her husband’s Christmas gift of a diamond bracelet. It was as if she thought it was the best gift he could have given her!

Here’s how the commercial would have gone if it had been filmed in my home seven years from now:

Over the Rhine's Christmas album is playing in the background. The livingroom is full of stacks of books all over the place for lack of room on the bookshelves. A fire is crackling in the fireplace.

The tree is decorated … oh, not in the fashion of home décor catalogues, but in a way that you know the family had fun doing it. A garland strand of popcorn wrapped partially around the tree … okay, maybe we ate more than we put on the string … homemade decorations scattered haphazardly on the branches with no apparent theme or reason to the process or choice of ornaments … and it appears that the tree was an innocent victim caught in the crossfire of a tinsel war.

I’m sitting at the base of the tree with an instruction manual strewn out in front of me with screws sticking out of my mouth as I’m attempting to figure out which part of the tricycle is part B and how in the world I’m going to connect it to part A. (This is the fun part for me … I live for assembling things … why should my three year old have all the pleasure with his new toy!)

My husband who had been secretly working on his own project in the other room comes into view with a tray of two cups of hot tea. Mmmm … he’s the best! I join him on the couch to take a break from manufacturing Jr.’s Christmas gift when from behind his back he takes out a long, narrow box. My heart races … I open the box … almost afraid of what I might find inside.

Gasp … a diamond bracelet … our children peak around the corner to see their mother’s reaction.

The screen then shows the bracelet featured on a bed of black velvet revolving so that viewers can catch the sparkle from all sides along with the price of a mere $899.

I’m speechless … I feel my eyes tearing up and my face getting flushed …

I SNAP! the box shut and slug my beloved in the shoulder … hard!

“What were you thinking?!! I told you just last week that we need a new washer and dryer! I don’t even wear bracelets!!!”

Then Ty Pennington enters the room and takes the box and bracelet from me, puts his hand on my husband’s shoulder (he winces) and tells him that it’s a good thing he got the bracelet from Sears because he can just exchange the bracelet and browse their options of Whirlpool washer-dryer units to replace it with.

(just for the record ... Ty bugs the snot out of me!)

from my parents to you

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family tradition

Anybody else celebrate half birthdays?

one paddle ping pong

It's not ultimate ping pong, but it'll do.

if you look closely

If you look closely you'll see that ... gasp! ... that's not me that you see ... but me in my dreams!

Oh, to live in Rome and careen through the streets on a scooter!