Thursday, January 05, 2006
mother/daughter IM conversation
I was thinking about what you said about how you are not a damsel in distress.
I was not either. I was very self-sufficient. As you get older and have the heavy responsibilities of life, you really appreciate more and more the partner that you choose to go through life with because he carries some of the burdens so that you don't have to, and of course, you carry some burdens so that he won't have to.
Life is really hard, and as you face lots of challenges together, you really appreciate that you don't have to carry all the burdens alone.
That is why we really have to evaluate the man the we choose so that we can know that we can really depend on him when things get tough, which they will!
It's not that we can't do everything. It's just that it would really consume us to do everything. That is why God gives us "helpers", and we have to be confident that we are on the same wave-length as our partner so that when we are weak, then we know that he can carry on, and he can also know that he can depend on us.
I am pointing out that even though you are not [a damsel-in-distress], it would benefit you to evaluate potential partners on their ability to handle life situations. Otherwise you could possibly get stuck handling everything for the family, and like I said, being consumed in the process. I am just suggesting that you look for somebody strong and capable in matters that are important to you.
For instance, there are many years of a woman's life where she is totally engrossed with raising children, keeping the home from falling apart, dealing with church and school and community, and she has very little energy for things that she would really like to do. During this time, it is really good to have a man besider her who can handle things--instead of him being another burden on her.
yeah, i agree with you ... that's what i want ... i know myself ... like in college how i was the "dependable" one ... and while i enjoyed it ... it took its toll on me and i snapped at one point
i'd hate to do that to the man and children i loved
So--I didn't really think of it that way before marriage. I just knew I wanted somebody stronger than me because I knew that I was strong. I really like to look up to him. I know that he looks up to me in some areas, and I do the same to him. That makes both of us feel special because we have the respect of the other.
well, i'm open to whoever God has for me ... he's going to be great ... while i was watching ice skating the other day it occured to me that i wanted someone who i knew could throw me up in the air and catch me ... if i were to fall backwards, i wouldn't have to fear, because i knew he'd be right behind me and he was strong enough to hold me up
at the same time i want to uphold him when he's tired and discouraged