Monday, January 10, 2005

all that drama

for all of you non-PCCites out there, I feel like I should explain myself ... lest any of you begin to question my morals.  I'm refering to the "college incident" ... now don't let your wild imaginations get the best of you.

... here's how it all went down:

My senior year of college I became involved in the drama department of Pensacola Christian College.  I played such interesting characters as the elegantly seductive Snow Queen (boys begged me to do that beckoning motion with my hand, and talk soon spread around boys' dorms about the girl with blue lips ... the Student Body President even offered to let me kidnap him--hey, back off, will ya?!!  i was acting ... ), then there was Miss Spider from James and the Giant Peach (without informing the director, I went out on a limb and died my long hair bright ruby red ... I was going for a shocking Audrey Hepburn look with my vintage black dress and hat with the accent of red ... however, someone who saw the show thought my face looked more like Michael Jackson ...), and then there was Matilda Livingstone (in Lena Rivers--a romantic comedy).

I knew the role was in the bag.  By this time I had it figured out ... I had been type cast ... the drama department figured that I made a great snob.  Kind of like poor Jamie Brown could be nothing but an "old man".  Matilda was the epitome of Southern Genteel sophistication that would stop at nothing to see her children in the best circles.  And then her country bumpkin niece moves in and ruins all of her plans.

There was nothing cool about my costume in this play ... I had no control.  The other two roles i had contributed a lot to my character's image ... but each time I tried to put my two cents into this one .. my "wrist was slapped".  As the Costume Designer handed me the combination of thriftstore rejects she had put together, I cringed ... but silently went to go find a spot to change.  (Hopefully no one would see me).

The drama department is on the other side of the Fine Arts building.  So I felt fairly certain my friends working in the art labs that night wouldn't catch a glimpse of me as I dashed across the hall to the ladies' faculty bathroom (off limits to students ... oops!  they were all at home anyway).  I changed and left my change of clothes in the bathroom and dashed back to be poked and pinned by the "seamstress."

"Christine, we need you on stage for Act 2 Scene 3."

"But i'm being pinned ... "

"They can finish it later, c'mon"

An hour and a half later, I finally headed back to the restroom to change back into my clothes.

left ... right ... left ... no one around ... dash ... phew! .... flip ... close ... lock.

When I switched the lights on ... I couldn't believe my eyes.  I opened the door again and poked my head out ... no one ...


Someone suggested after hearing this story that I just wear the costume back to my room.  Sure, everything is crystal clear when seeing hindsight ...

Instead ... I hid in the bathroom and waited for the Art building to close.  I heard security as they checked the classrooms and turned off the lights.  after I was convinced that everyone had left I returned my costume to the sewing room and made a mad dash for the doors (there are rumors of security cameras being everywhere).  Everyone was already in their dorms (due to the 10pm curfew) ... but you never when "do do doododoodo" (wicked witch themesong) a security guard might ride by on his/her bike.  So when the coast was clear, I, garbed only in my undergaments (thank God I was wearing panty hose--otherwise i could get demerits), made a dash for the bushes across from my dorm. The desk worker having seen me sent two floor leaders out to bring me in ... ha ... What do you say when asked what you're doing out after hours in the "buff" (or pretty close to it anyway)?!!

At least that's the story I told my friend Beth.

When I went back to the faculty bathroom to change back into my clothes ... yes, my clothes were gone ... but there was another set of clothing in their place.  I realized that I recognized them.  They were Beth's ... the friend I had gone to dinner with just a few hours earlier ... ha!  What a great joke!  And she must be wearing my clothes!  This made it even more comical.  You see, she is one of the tiniest people you will ever meet: 5'1" size 0.  And she was walking around somewhere with my humongous clothes meant for a 6'1" amazon princess on.

Knowing that I would have to go out on stage again before night was over I quickly put her clothes on.  Looking in the mirror I could only wish that she looked as ridiculous as I did.  Before going back on stage, I made a dash for the art labs.

Had anyone seen beth?

no ... Christine, was that what you were wearing earlier today?

No. These are Beth's clothes.

Beth had left for the evening it seemed and I was stuck with her skirt up around my abdomen trying to keep her top from showing my midrift.  It was all too funny ... and to see the faces of my fellow actors ... ha ha.

Well, I called Beth when I got to my room later that night.  I told her my "streaking" story and asked if she knew what had happened to my clothes ... yeah, She had them ... didn't i see her clothes lying there?

"I don't know what you're talking about, Beth.  All I know was that my clothes were GONE!  What else was I supposed to do?"

"Are you serious?!!"

It nearly knocked Beth off her feet when she walked in my room and sure enough I was stripped down to my undergarments AND pantyhose (thank God for those).

Well, word got around about the prank.  And the guys all thought it was the greatest joke ever.

... but then the yearbooks came out.  The guys ran up to me and opened the book to my senior portrait.  It looked as if i had no clothes on ...

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