Monday, January 09, 2006

sit down and shut up

“When men attempt bold gestures, generally it’s considered romantic. When women do it, it’s often considered desperate or psycho.”

Sarah Jessica Parker as Carrie
from Sex in the City

Michael and Hayley Dimarco, authors of "Marriable: taking the desperate out of dating", begin their chapter titled “Women, Shut Up and Be Mysterious” with the quote above (so don’t get it into your heads that I actually watch this HBO hit show). Their conclusions about correcting women’s destructive behavior actually concur with my own. According to the Dimarcos women tend to mess up their relationships by

1. talking too much (giving too much information at once)
2. chasing the man
3. planning everything
4. paying
5. and giving in physically

The woman has virtually climbed out of the rabbit hole and laid herself at Elmer Fudd’s feet … what’s the fun in that?!!

Instead the Dimarcos urge women to by mysterious.

1. keep part of your life to yourself
2. limit your phone calls (in time and number)
3. don’t accept last-minute dates
4. don’t whine
5. and don’t gossip

In short, women are doing entirely too much in terms of pursuit. Instead they need to sit down and shut up and let the men step up.

P.S. – You want to know if a guy likes you?
1. He asks you out.
2. He tells you he’s interested
3. He calls when he says he will.
4. He wants to be with you.
5. No matter what else is going on in his life, he will do all he can to be with you.

Sure signs he’s not interested:
1. He hasn’t asked you out.
2. He never tells you he’s interested.
3. He is too busy to do things for or with you.


gumby171 said...

I agree with all the signs that show a guy is interested. I'm a little hesitatnt to agree to the list of negations.

Sure, guys like to pursue. But we don't like to look like Wile E. Coyote, so I know personally I (almost) never give chase, if I don't have any sign of at least a modicum of sucess.

Different guys need varying degrees. For some just a smile will do. For others, there may need to be some substantial conversation and eye-winking. (he might need more than that, but if he does, you prolly don't need him)

Sure, I may see a cute girl who speaks intellegently in class. But I'm gonna hold off a bit before I put my order in to ACME for rocket-powered rollerskates. Because for all I know, she might end up being an Arminian!

ckhnat said...

an Arminian ... !!!

okay ... i just have to add one thing to this ... gentlemen ... almost nothing weirds a girl out more if during the "dance" you ask her what she thinks about "predestination"!!!

i realize you don't want to waste your time with someone who will end up being theologically incompadible. But think of it this way ... here on campus ... that's like asking a girl on the first date how many children she wants to have.

it's just weird. don't do it.

Gumby171 said...

Sorry the Arminian bit was merely a poor attempt at a joke.

ckhnat said...

yeah, i know ... but i couldn't resist

mike said...

Well I think I managed to sus you on both those issues before I asked you out... should I give myself a pat on the back? Love you lots :)

ckhnat said...

yeh, looking back at the list of indicators ... i think you like me.