Wednesday, September 07, 2005

"The Things Women Want"

by Cheryl Lavin

printed in The Chicago Tribune, May 7, 2000

1. Don't ever lie to us; we always find out.

2. If you're in a bad mood, we're going to assume it's our fault. So, tell us what's bothering you.

3. Quit complaining about your boss. Find another job.

4. Sunday is usually the only day we can relax. Be flexible about the all-day sports rule.

5. Buy yourself some decent clothes.

6. Pay attention. We like to give clues. "Susie and Bob tried a great new resteraunt" means "Why don't you ever take us anywhere nice?"

7. Yes, it's true. Sometimes we like to call up and talk about nothing. Get used to it.

8. We are self-conscious by nature; we can't help it.

9. The kissing must never stop.

10. If you ask us what's wrong and we say nothing, as us again. And this time, look sincere.

11. When we say something, it's necessary for you to respond. At the very minimum, nod your head.

12. Real men run dishwashers and dust funiture.

13. If you only knew how much a tender word, a thoughtful act, or an unexpected gift means to us, you would do it, and your life would improve expotentially.

14. When no one's home, stand in front of the mirror and practice this until you can say it in public: "I was wrong."

15. After you've mastered that, work on "I'm sorry."

9 comments:

Lozo said...

your blog is funny. and you're cute. too bad you're a nun, or something.

Dawn said...

I didn't know you were a nun...I was actually about to say you've been talking a lot about dating and relationships lately...is there something you would like to tell me? Huh huh huh! (Just kiddin):) :) :)

Kristin said...

# 2- true
#6- true but we need to get over that, boys don't get hints. I think they, like us, would rather be told straight up
#10- why don't we just answer the 1st time??!! it's a curse!

Wisdom in Wichita said...

Keep going with the "your blog is funny" line, it will work better than the "you're cute" bit. That only works in moderation, emphasis on the moderation.

ckhnat said...

Wise, wise words coming from Wichita. Although I have never visited your fair city, you know me well. Flattery is detestable in excess ... but appreciating certain metaphysical traits might be rewarding.

wisdom in Wichita said...

Not that "lozo" would care (i glanced at his drunken blog), "certain metaphysical traits" would refer to things that are "beyond" physical. The things that "are" christine. You must tear away the beautiful exterior and examine the intricate yet delicate structure that supports the beautiful femininity, nay, that constructs the beauty. So you started off on the right foot by crediting her with a knowledge of humor, you could then move on by expressing your interest in her talents/interest (ie. writing, art, Christianity, etc.). But clearly "Flattery is detestable".

Jason said...

That's funny to find lozo's comment. My blog started off with several posts about dating, including places to find dates. I even kinda got asked out -- well, she was hinting at it -- on my blog! And yes, I got the hint... it was a pretty obvious hint.

I'm givin' props to Kristin for understanding that guys don't get hints and want to be told straight up. You go, girl.

And lastley, concerning #12, "Real men run dishwashers and dust funiture," are there any "real men" who need roommates? :)

Tim, the lawyer guy said...

Responding to your blog here, seems like an ambush--but like a willing lab rat I will run the wheel for your science experiment. The list, hmmm, its seems a bit hyberbolic (if that's a correct use of hyperbole). But, it's definitely true to some extent. I don't find it surprising though; it seems part of the creative order that women who are created to "long for their husbands" (Gen.) would think, act and relate to guys with this "form" of communication. In reading it though, I'm stroke by the evident flaws of modern men: watching too much T.V., not being concerned enough about treating our "woman" like a lady, lying and being unable to apologize and confess fault(but those are surely not a modern problem).
Alright, enough reaching into my sensitive side; you have enough ammo for your science experiment now. But I must say, on a lighter note, it seems #9 would be on a guys list too (probably meaning different things to the different genders).

P.S.- thanks for the free advertising, i'll have to do better post now that I know about it--such pressure.

ckhnat said...

I think that's referring to women never wanting to stop being "romanced."