by Cheryl Lavin
printed in The Chicago Tribune, May 7, 2000
1. Don't ever lie to us; we always find out.
2. If you're in a bad mood, we're going to assume it's our fault. So, tell us what's bothering you.
3. Quit complaining about your boss. Find another job.
4. Sunday is usually the only day we can relax. Be flexible about the all-day sports rule.
5. Buy yourself some decent clothes.
6. Pay attention. We like to give clues. "Susie and Bob tried a great new resteraunt" means "Why don't you ever take us anywhere nice?"
7. Yes, it's true. Sometimes we like to call up and talk about nothing. Get used to it.
8. We are self-conscious by nature; we can't help it.
9. The kissing must never stop.
10. If you ask us what's wrong and we say nothing, as us again. And this time, look sincere.
11. When we say something, it's necessary for you to respond. At the very minimum, nod your head.
12. Real men run dishwashers and dust funiture.
13. If you only knew how much a tender word, a thoughtful act, or an unexpected gift means to us, you would do it, and your life would improve expotentially.
14. When no one's home, stand in front of the mirror and practice this until you can say it in public: "I was wrong."
15. After you've mastered that, work on "I'm sorry."