Wednesday, September 14, 2005

"Spiritual" Pickup Lines


I haven't been here long. But I've been here long enough to know that guys at Seminary have found a way to even make pickup lines sound spiritual. I haven't been subjected to any of them (but one); however, I've certainly witnessed a few. The easiest one is to lean over and ask the girl, "Hmm, what version are you using?" Or ... this one comes from a friend of mine: "So ... what church do you go to? Yeah, I'm still looking. Mind if I go with you sometime?" Thankfully, none but the first have been directed towards me ... but I have an idea that there are more out there.

The other nuns thought that I should take a blog survey on this. What are some of the cheesiest "spiritual" pickup lines that you've heard?

Here's a few to get you started.

"I just don't feel called to celibacy."

"Did I tell you that my great-uncle was a personal friend of Billy Graham?"

"What do you think Paul meant when he said, 'Greet everyone with a holy kiss'?"

"I'm pretty flexible--I don't think a woman should be submissive on the first date."

"Before tonight, I never believed in predestination..." (this guy probably wasn't a H.C.G.)

"I hear there's going to be a love offering tonight."

Just for the record, I'm only doing this because it brings a laugh. It's not intended make fun of anybody. I think they're funny ... so just be aware that if you use one on one of us ... I hope your purpose is to make us laugh.

45 comments:

Donna said...

Hee hee!! I have had the "mind if I come to church with you?" line used on me once or twice.. luckily I have good guy friends that I attend church with and offer them as rides.

I posted a handful of "Christian pick up lines" last year for laughs -- here's the link: http://www.hopecc.com/humor/pick_up_lines.html

My favorite one on there is probably, "Yeah I predicted David over Goliath." If a guy told me that, I think I would laugh for an hour... but you gotta respect those guys with a sense of humor. :)

Laura said...

Just to clarify, Christine, what are you envisioning here -- a guy using one of these lines as a joke, hoping to get the girl to laugh all the way down the aisle, or a guy using it in perfect seriousness? Because... "That is a fault indeed, but I cannot laugh at it."

ckhnat said...

i suppose i was hoping to get a couple of funny ones posted. but actually, i am pretty interested in hearing some that are used actually hoping for results. and you're right ... those ones aren't a laughing matter.

Lisa said...

"Before tonight, I never believed in predestination..."

that has got to be the one that made me laugh the most!

CM said...

During the first week of the semester, I was sitting in the bookstore reading for class. I happened to overhear (uh-huh) a conversation between a guy and a girl.

Guy: "Yeah, so, how's everything going?"
Girl: "Fine, fine"
(Banter)
Guy: "Yeah, umm... well, I was wondering... I've been praying recently, and I was wondering if you would be interested in going out for coffee or something."
(No joke.)
Girl: "Well, I'm not really looking to date anyone right now."

Later, the girl ran into a friend at the bookstore, and told him: "Yeah, this guy just laid out the God card on me."

I had to hide behind my book because I was about ready to bust out laughing.

CM said...

Oh, here's a line I came up with (out of stupidity, not as an actual pick-up):

"Baby, you and I were predestined before the creation of the world to be together, and there's nothing you can do about it."

Donna said...

That last one is hilarious!! I guess that would be considered the "how a hypercalvanist gets a date" line. :)

Jason said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
jeremy said...

Well Jason,
Take it from a fellow serious, sensitive guy when I say that I find it ridiculus that you think this actually makes it difficult for guys.
The only group that makes it difficult for guys to ask out girls is guys.
Lines don't work, serious, legitamite conversations do. Being upfront and simply asking them out to do something. Giving them the option to decline without worrying about feelings being hurt. Treating them with enough respect by not thinking "how can I direct the conversation towards asking her out."
We men need to stop thinking and seeing the numerous Godly women on campus as possible wives and start treating them as sisters in Christ. Men on campus treat women on as notches on their belt, as soon as one declines they're off to the next possibility, then they use the excuse that they're just trying to find a wife or complain that the women are playing games or to harsh.

Now I am not casually placing all of this onto you, brother, but I hope it gives you something to think about.

Lindsay said...

I got the straight up pick up line:

"So, are you engaged? I thought I saw a ring on your finger the other day."

Excuse me??!!

leslie said...

y'all need to back off a little and give a guy a chance. Just be glad you're getting asked out!! Just be glad a guy who loves Christ is asking you out and not some guy who could care less about the things of God!! It's really hard for a guy to ask a girl out, they have to put it all on the line and it takes a lot of guts to do that.
I know guys who do pray about asking a girl out. It's not always "playing the God-card."
I would hope those of you in seminary, especially, would have grace for people and love your brothers in Christ. Bear with them and you shouldn't be so proud that some holy hottie should come up with some elaborate way of asking you out.
Go out with the guy, you just might like him.

Sorry, if this is to harsh, but I hear too many girls complain about not getting asked out because the guy they want isn't asking them out. That's petty and silly.

leslie said...

ok, I will say that some are funny and I missed the original intent of this post. Sorry if I said some things too hastily.

ckhnat said...

I'm glad you brought it up, Leslie. If you hadn't, I was going to anyway. My intent was just to get a cheesy laugh. But I've suddenly struck a funny-bone that's not so funny.

Perhaps I'm not the one that should have started this thread, seeing how I have the least experience with it. But I became curious as I heard girls on my hall or in my classes talk about guys they had encountered. Guys, I'm trying to help you out here ... consider me your fly on the wall.

Girls here are frustrated. They feel that the manner in which many have initiated conversations with them have seemed rather agressive ... as if these fellows are attempting to find out within the next five minutes if this girl is qualified to be the pastor's wife of their dreams. As a result, they've become paranoid when any guy finds a creative way to introduce themselves. Surely he's just seeing if I'm called to go to Malaysia!

Cheers to Jeremy! A girl could stand on her soapbox all day saying the same thing and get no where ... but the fact that this came from a brother ... WOW! Listen to him. He knows what he's talking about.

The girls here ... they're here all year (some two or three more years) ... you've got time. Get to know them. Be their brothers. Whatever happened to building a relationship on a foundation of FRIENDSHIP.

And GIRLS ... let's get over our phobia that everytime some new guy approaches us ... don't assume that the words out of his mouth contain the double meaning of "will you marry me?" Ha ha ... I'm pretty sure "Whoa! What kind of bread is that?" isn't a pickup line. If it is ... well, he needs to work on his content and delivery.

jeremy said...

The girls here ... they're here all year (some two or three more years) ... you've got time. Get to know them. Be their brothers. Whatever happened to building a relationship on a foundation of FRIENDSHIP

I think that a lot of guys could use this advice. I knew my girlfriend for about a 7 months before the thought of asking her out even came across my mind. Then one day she sat down across the table, I don't know what it was, but I knew that I wanted to get to know her better. So, a few months later, I asked her out. It adds a lot more meaning to know that she wasn't the next on the list. (and I hope that she can verify that)

jeremy said...

kristin where are you on this one?

ckhnat said...

I'm pasteing my comment that I left on Lenny's most recent blog entry about giving guys a chance.

(http://www.fallennotforsaken.com/lenny/2005/09/give-guy-chance.php)

Women appreciate a man who is interested in her, who she is, what constructs her personality.

The guy who has only seen her and then asks her to coffee (knowing nothing about her), even if he IS godly ... well, is it hard to understand why she would hestitate to take him up on the offer? Why should she enter into a romance (i realize that it's JUST coffee) with someone who she knows nothing about and he only thinks that she's "cute". But the guy who takes the time and effort to meet her on her level. Meet her friends, spend time with her friends (even if she's not around), and pursue a casual, friendly, honest relationship ... well, he's scoring points with her already.

This allows her to sit back and assess who this guy really is ... she watches him ... she sees how he interacts with her friends ... and in her time she's ready and willing to give him a chance. It then becomes a natural transition to doing things together. one on one.

Their friendship develops deeper, beginning to understand the inner workings of each personality. Then they may come to the realization that this other person is his/her match ... if not, they can still be friends.

Perhaps this is idealistic ... but you have no idea how many girls I know dream of a situation like the one I just described.

Sure the sacrifice of an hour or two of your time in the coffee shop ought to be valued ... but if you're going for gold ... it takes more than an hour or two and 10 bucks.

leslie said...

Well said, Christine, and thanks for not taking my comment the wrong way (as I took your post).

Leslie's Blog

jeremy said...

I have now joined the club of posting my opinion on the dating situation.

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Beating Around the Bush in Berlin said...

Sorry I didn't have any great "words of wisdom" for this post. Guys just be the right one and you'll find the right one, and if your not ready for one don't be one. You'll just break her heart, and those are hard to fix.

Kristin said...

Lindsay- That is hilarious!!

Kristin said...

Sorry, Christine, but you have been blog--tagged! You have to write 5 things you miss and tag a few people!! HAve fun;)~

Erin said...

So, the discussion has strayed from this but I have to add my favorite..

Hi. I'm Will....God's Will.

And now back to the serious....
I have a huge issue with the drama that is dragged into the relationship scene. We make this huge deal out of liking a person and if they don't feel the same way our life is over. How silly. One thing that I have learned is that rejection doesn't always have to be a bloody mess. If you are honest with eachother and act like adults (meaning if a girl likes you boys but you don't feel the same, that's fine with her. she is content with being your friend. don't freak out.)Integrity is huge. Be honest. If two people don't have the same attraction then it's ok. Really. It is possible for both parties to be completely normal and be great friends. Sometimes you just have to get the feelings in the open and dealt with before you can be amazingly great friends. I know. I've been there. If you want to know the story, ask me. I will tell you down to the last detail.

So what is my point in all this? Simply (actually probably not simply) that gaurding my heart and guys hearts is not the easiest thing and I mess up. If the person you are attracted to doesn't feel the same, and he or she is a godly person, then trust his/her intrgrity. Most of the time it has more to do with what God has called him/her to than a lack of attraction to you. There are plenty of guys that are attractive to me that my flesh says "ooo I would date him, he's godly, fun, and handsome" but my God says, " The two of you are called to different things and are not meant for each other. Wait."


--All of that was from an old post of mine(Dec 13, 2003)

Girl in Atlanta said...

You're so right, Christine. Knowing that a guy cares about who I really am compliments so much more than the one who I can tell is just wanting someone who will make THEM look good.
Cheesy pick-ups? How about when a young guy downtown Atl. unbooted my car free of charge after telling me his ex-wife was a blonde too, and could also be pretty dumb (this after I'd naively thought I could pay parking at the end of the day, instead of as I parked...). He sure enjoyed making me sweat that one out as I petitioned him to let penny-less me off this one time, and he said so. He said I owed him one. I said maybe I'd bake him cookies. HA!

Jason said...

I've always considered pick-up lines as something of an urban legend. You hear many tales about people who use them and what fools they are, and for that reason, I've never thought anyone seriously used pick-up lines.

However, if a corny pick-up line brings a laugh, maybe it's worth it just for that.

I like "Is it a sin that you stole my heart?"

How about these?

"You know, the Jesus in me loves the Jesus in you."

"Wanna dance with me and Jesus?"

Lenny Tavernelli said...

Whoa, slow down guys. I need to take some notes on these great Christian pick-up lines...the only ones I know are secular. These are the greatest thing since that "Baby Got Book" music video.

Donna said...

Christine - could you have guessed that your little post could create such a ruckus at Southern and beyond?

Thanks for bringing a few laughs as well as some insightful dialogue :)

ckhnat said...

No Donna ... I hadn't a clue. I hope some good has come out of it. God has a purpose in all things. I've got some more chuckles for everyone.

I've prayed about it and God wants you to go out with me.

Has anyone ever told you, your eyes are like doves and your neck like the tower of David?

(this one's my favorite so far ... although "My name's Will" was pretty good)

Jason said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Alex & Laura Beth said...

Christine,

If you want to know about causing a "ruckus" through blogging, you should ask me about it... I struck quite a chord with the Seminary scene by discussing the topic of dating on my blog last year. It was weird and sad and entertaining and hurtful and lots of things. Dr. Moore posted in agreement. So did Dr. Plummer. Lots of married guys agreed with me. Some single guys agreed with me. Some sinlge guys were really upset with me. It seemed like the whole campus was buzzing. Nikki actually met her fiance as a result of my blog entry on dating. Well, you can't actually read it anymore, b/c I ended up taking the post off several months after I posted it. But I'll be happy to tell you about the drama.

jeremy said...

Drama?
Involving Seminary men?
I can't believe it?

Nikki Daniel said...

Haha, LB!
I was going to post about the pick-up line that Bert (JD) used on me!! It was a response my "Amen!" on Laura Beth's controversial blog entry:

Well, I just read Laura Beth's Blog. As a male - a male who attended Southern, mind you - I concede. She makes some valid points. And, I know that you appreciate her insights b/c you have endorsed her message w/ a hearty AMEN!
So, I respond - Would you like to go out? I know it's risky - a virtual stab in the dark. But, judging from your journal entries I would say you like a risk.


Heehee! Now we're engaged!! Keep up the cheesy pick-up lines, boys! Maybe, just maybe, they'll work...if you post them on a girl's blog, of course.

ckhnat said...

That wasn't a hokey pickup line, Nikki! That was sweet sincerity.

A goofy pickup line would be something like, "Excuse me, but I think you have one of my ribs."

Shall we call it quits, then? Have we had enough? i have. hmm, what should i write about next? Maybe something funny will happen to me tonight at the movie on the lawn.

leslie said...

maybe a guy will use a pick-up line on you!!!

(ok, I know you said to stop, but I couldn't help myself)

ckhnat said...

oh dear. Leslie! I wouldn't know how to react! it's never happened to me before. Oh sure, elderly black men have come up to me in Barnes and Noble and asked me if I was married, but ... i'm a bit odd when it comes to the whole dating scene ... at the risk of starting a new "ruckus" ... you'll find that I'm the one that girls come to talk to when they need advice on relationships. Guys even come to me to get a girl's point of view.

But no one ever asks ME out.

And I like it that way.

I'm a bit puzzled by the American fascination with dating. Some pursue the passtime in an effort to meet their future mate. But some ... are just looking for a DATE. "Well ... another Friday night and no date," has been the lament on many lips. This boggles my mind. I don't understand it. Can't these people call up their friends to go to a movie, or a bookstore and look at picture books of places they've dreamed of going, or go to some random festival in town? Why do they feel inadequate as a human being if they've not gone on a date?

But then again, this is coming from a girl who has never dated ... never really wanted to. It was a never a major part of my life. In high school, I was homeschooled and our church consisted of 5 year olds and 30 year olds and then ME. In college, all of my friends and I were artists so we all just hung out in the art labs together, no one really dated. Now, I'm here and I'm confronted with it everyday! I hear the girls down the hall talk about it ... my friends caution me about it ... and for the first time I feel pressured to engage in this American tradition.

Yet, like a sailor in the midst of a storm, I have tied myself to the mast of a dream.

Convinced that God has grown me into the woman I am today, I know He will be faithful and will continue His good work in me.

Now ... let's get back to the silliness.

Dawn said...

I just remembered one that my ex-boyfriend pulled on me...

"If you had a parrott would it sit on this shoulder or (reaching around as if to be putting his arm around me) this shoulder?

craziness!!

Kristin said...

awww- that's kinda cute, Dawn. As long as it is from your boyfriend and not a random guy. That would be wierd...

Alex & Laura Beth said...

Christine, I completely know what you are feeling. I never really thought much about dating or had boyfriends all through high school and college. I am extremely independent (and perhaps run in the artsy crowd as well). I did almost everything by myself. If I wanted to see a movie, I went by myself. If I wanted to eat breakfast and sip on some coffee, I went with myself and my book. Then I came to Southern Seminary, and I was immediately made to feel as if something was wrong with me until I got married. All of a sudden, it seemed as if all conversations, all interactions, everything somehow came down to dating. I was really wierded out... particularly by the way people talked about dating, as if it were some cosmological or mysitcal event.

Christine, don't let the chatter change you. (And from reading what you wite, I don't think it will.) And that';s all I have to say about that!

Jason said...

For those of us who aren't big on the dating thing, I've got some tips for alternative ways to get married in my latest post.

With so many bloggers on the dating topic lately, I couldn't resist chiming in. How weak of me...

Christine's ex-Boyfriend or something... said...

"So I hear there's going to be a love offering tonight" That's great! Okay bye!

not christine's ex-boyfriend said...

i lied.

ex -author said...

guys, whatever you do, if a girl rejects you even before she even gives you a chance, just get back on your feet. she's not worth wallowing in depression.

girls, give a guy a chance before you reject him. if you really don't like him do whatever it takes to make him go away. make it obvious because guys are stupid like that.

ckhnat said...

that is NOT funny! I happen to have a reputation to uphold and SLANDER doesn't help! I have a pristine record of having only ONE "boyfriend" and that was in the 4-5th grade. And he was more like an artistic rival anyway! Don't steal my glory!

Ben Lalisan said...

bwah ha ha ha ha ha!!!

yo mama said...

here is the 45th comment! Here's a cool Christian Singer Guy