Due to the suggestion of a fellow blogger with a similar name to my own (Christina), I decided to share some brief snippits from the section of Shaunti Feldhahn's For Women Only (the Bible study) about the visual nature of men. Quotes pulled from pages 124-129.
"We think that if God does not look on the outward appearance, then neither should our husbands, right? The truth is that because we know 'It's what's inside that counts,' we can easily migrate to the idea that what is outside doesn't matter. It does."
"... 70 percent of men indicated they would be emotionally bothered if their wives let themselves go and didn't seem to want to make the effort to do something about it."
"... ignoring that truth, our men--even godly men who are devoted to us--end up feeling disregarded, disrespected, and hurt."
"Somehow I assumed that if I was out of shape, I was the only person who was negatively affected!"
"If she doesn't take care of herself, dresses sloppily around me all the time, never exercises, and has no energy to go out and do things together, I feel like she's choosing not to do something that she should know is important to me. ... But really, I just want to see that my wife cares enough about me to make an effort."
"Seeing us make the effort to look good makes them feel loved and cared for. It matters to them in the same way it matters to us when we notice our husbands making an effort to do things that make us feel loved--especially those things that are difficult or don't come naturally. If our husband truly puts effort and thought into a romantic event, do you really mind if it's not perfect? Of course not. You feel loved and cared for."
"In a way, this issue for men is like romance for us. Maybe it shouldn't matter whether our husbands ever put one jot of effort into romancing us, but it does. We love him regardless; yet, we still feel that empty wistfulness for what could be."
"'We need to see that you care about keeping our attention on you--and off of other women.'"
"To bring Vashti the queen before the king with the crown royal, to shew the people and the princes her beauty: for she [was] fair to look on."
"A man's wife is an extension of himself, just as he is an extension of his wife. Most men know that the appearance of their wives complements them in the presence of other men."
"The way you dress and carry yourself speaks volumes about both you and your husband. You may not like the idea that others are judging your husband on your appearance, but according to the men I spoke with, it happens often."
(Understand that weight or "natural good looks" [whatever *that* is] is beside the point. It's not a 20 year old pin-up girl they're after. However, a man wants a wife who *makes the effort* to be healthy, take care of herself, dress for him, and be confident and comfortable in who she is. This makes him feel cherished and respected. True, I'm not married. Perhaps, I have no place in writing about this so passionately in recent posts. However, I have eyes ... and I have ears. And my own observations have only been confirmed by the hundreds of men [many of whom were regular church-goers] Feldhahn interviewed. Men struggle with visual temptations on a daily basis. Let us aid our brothers and husbands to fight this temptaion by dressing modestly and for our husbands make the effort so that they only have eyes for us.)