Thursday, August 10, 2006

rant

A number of readers have misunderstood the intent of my book (which will *one* day, many years from now, hopefully write itself and get published. I am in need of much more experience and research.)

The intention of my book is not to bag out men for their lack of initiative or leadership ... that's another man's responsibility.

(see Mike's blog)

My goal, however, is to work at rectifying the failures of feminism. Women have retaliated against the abuses of certain men and have easily slipped into the shoes of the abuser. Their weapons of choice are so often their words and attitudes. In their ladies Bible studies they gossip and wail about their husbands’ failures as men, husbands, and fathers. To their faces they disrespect the men they swore to love. In front of their children they belittle their mates.

Rarely do we encourage men ... much less respect them.

I believe that Mike is a better leader in our relationship because I show him respect and trust him and communicate the desire for him to lead and praise him for his achievements.

So this book is intended to be for women by a woman. A way for us to look to the plank in our own eye.

(Begin rant) That being said perhaps men ought to do the same. Looking briefly through the books or articles promoting complimentarianism, the majority of the works are authored by men. How tired I am of wincing at the pounding of fists from men debating women’s roles in the church and home demanding silence and submission! While I respect these men, many of them scholars and pastors, I grow weary of those who wag the finger from the pulpit exhorting women to submit, but overlook the command for men to love.

I would LOVE to see more women stand up for biblical complimentary standards. How much more is a woman struggling to understand God's plan for her life apt to heed the exhortation of another woman who has gone before her!

The problems between men and women in our Christian culture have come about for a multitude of reasons. However, women will not submit only when men start loving them. And men will not love only when women begin to respect them. Let us look to our own house. Women look to your words and attitudes. How you speak about your husband is how others will perceive him. Men cherish your wives as Christ loves the church.

Ephesians 5:22-33
22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body. 31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.


Perhaps when we have removed our own planks, our obedience and love for one another will serve as examples to others spurring them on to holier living.


Philippians 2:1-11
So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, 2 complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. 3 Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. 4 Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. 5 Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, 6 who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, 7 but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. 8 And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. 9 Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, 10 so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, 11 and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.

16 comments:

meredith said...

Oh yeah. Preach it, sista!

sajini said...

Great thoughts!! Will comment later!! I am getting ready to leave NYC for Philly again!! Hope everything is well!!

CraigS said...

Well, I would enjoy seeing your book become a reality. I agree we need more books by women on this issue.

ckhnat said...

maybe Matthias Media would pick it up ...

CraigS said...

Possibly, though they have very limited distribution in the US.

Have you written anything yet, or still planning?

ckhnat said...

oh i don't care if it's in the U.S. ... although, that may be where the greatest need is.

nope, i need to sit down and outline my thoughts on the issue. they're too jumbled at the moment.

i've got books on the shelf and files and articles and scribbled notes that i've written and blogposts ...

Joanna said...

acutally, speaking of Matthias Media...

Dr Kirsten Birkett has already written a book called The Essence of Feminism, which is a sort of presentation of what feminism is as well as a critique. You may find this an interesting and helpful read.

I'm sure she's written some articles on the subject also (maybe google her?.

meredith said...

Funny you should mention Birkett - I was just rereading her book yesterday! CK, it's good. Her thesis is that the source of women's problems isn't oppression, it's feminism. Very well-written and at 125 pages, a fast read. Lean writing, worth your while.

Ruth said...

My goal, however, is to work at rectifying the failures of feminism. Women have retaliated against the abuses of certain men and have easily slipped into the shoes of the abuser. Their weapons of choice are so often their words and attitudes. In their ladies Bible studies they gossip and wail about their husbands’ failures as men, husbands, and fathers. To their faces they disrespect the men they swore to love. In front of their children they belittle their mates.

Interesting paragraph Christine. I think that this has actually always been the problem - not as a result of feminism - but of the fall - I think it is wrapped up in the verse that says: "Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you."

Feminism perhaps has 'legitimized' the verbal abuse that happens - but I think it has always been part of marital/relational tensions between man and woman.

Having said that, I think it's great to encourage women to speak well of their husbands, to respect and be thankful for their leadership and protection, and in this way they will definitely stand out as different from many of the women around them - and they will be further encouraging their husband's leadership - and I think it is part of submitting to their husbands. The hard line to work out is how to be honest about someone, honest about personal struggles about something whilst also being positive about ones spouse.

(that sounds really negative - it's not hard for me to be positive about AB - because he is a fantastic husband - and really hot too - which is a bonus!)

Bobby said...

"How much more is a woman struggling to understand God's plan for her life apt to heed the exhortation of another woman who has gone before her!"

Very true. Glad you're stepping up to the plate.

Anonymous said...

Have you read "Love and Respect" by Eggerich? Very good way to gain perspective on both sides and how men and women differ.

ckhnat said...

indeed, don't you remember when you and i talked about the book "Love and Respect" before?

Anonymous said...

Maybe.

Radagast said...

I must say, I've always found Eph5:25 one of the scariest verses in the Bible. There's an awfully big ask there.

G. F. McDowell said...

Just so you know, at the talk tonight on men and women and roles and marriage, Dr. Moore scratched your itch for someone to tell the men to DO THEIR PART. It was good. He also said that singles are people too.

Anonymous said...

maybe you should read "The Creation of Patriarchy" I think it may enlighten. You should also consider chanelling your energies into something else like assisting women survivors of rape/domestic violence if you would like to head down the path of rectifying feminism.