Sunday, June 10, 2007

Sacred Influence, part 4

The following are key passages from Sacred Influence, Chapter 4


Chapter 4
The Widow at Zarephath
Understanding a Man's Deepest Thirst

What happened to the widow so long ago continues to happen in many marriages today. Elijah’s miraculous provision for this woman became commonplace. What once seemed like an extraordinary occurrence – flour and oil that never ran out – soon became a common blessing, so expected that it ceased to be noticed, much less appreciated. After a week or so, it was just the way things were. (49)

James 3:2
For we all stumble in many ways ...

Only one perfect man ever walked this earth, and he never married. Since every wife is married to an imperfect man, every wife will have legitimate disappointments in her marriage. Are you going to define you husband by these disappointments, or will you pray that God will open your eyes to the common blessings that your husband provides and to which you often become blinded? (53)

Don’t resent your husband for being less than perfect; he can’t be anything else. (54)

Because we so deeply value affirmation, whenever we don’t get it, it feels like living with one long, loud, psychic scream. And we tend to react like this: “If I can’t please her by trying my hardest, then why should I try at all?” I’m not saying we should react this way; I’m just saying that’s how we usually do react. (54)

Without feeling appreciated, admired, and genuinely respected, your husband probably will never change. If you notice a lot of tension in your home; if you notice a high level of frustration and anger in your husband’s life; if you sense a discouragement leading to passivity (where he underachieves); if you notice an “escapist” mentality, where he spends his free time playing computer games or watching sports, escaping the home with excessive recreation – then, more times than not, you’re looking at a man who doesn’t feel loved, appreciated, and respected. (55-56)

Your first step – the primary one – is to love, accept, and even honor your imperfect husband. (56)

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