Click here for Mike's advice for men (AND women) who struggle with the temptations of pornography.
I would like to add to his list by saying that I find it beneficial to develop a redeemed perspective of sexuality.
1. Begin by viewing men and women as individuals who bear God's image, thus deserving respect for their person, body and soul.
2. Put away the guilt-invoking fear of sex that you harbor because the church's efforts to keep you sexually pure have also caused you to equate sex with sin.
3. Understand God's purpose in the gift of sex as being wonderful and pure, knowing that you can share yourself fully with your spouse in love.
4. Sexual intimacy is not meant to gratify self ... nor is it more holy to put aside one's own pleasure to only please the spouse. Intimacy is meant to be enjoyed by both husband and wife as they serve each other in love and become one flesh.
5. Sex is not a flippant joke. It's solemn importance lies in that it is a creation of God. However, this does not mean that to discuss sex is taboo. Single women ought to feel free to discuss questions and seek the advice of married women in regards to the joys of sex and/or temptations. Pray together and rejoice together.
6. There is no shame in sex between a man and his wife. Instead, one would do well to give thanks to God after enjoying each other's bodies.
7. God, the Creator, enables man and woman to experience the joy of creation through the act of sex to bring about new generations. There is not fullproof contraception. With sex comes the possibility of new life. May husbands and wives always find delight in the news of a new life brought about by their act of love.
8. The human body is wonderful as God created it, to be enjoyed by one's spouse. Solomon's Song of love, romance, and sexuality reveals God's condoning of sexual pleasure.
9. Selfishness, unfaithfulness, and lack of control seek to destroy the wonder of this "one flesh". 1 Corinthians 7 urges those with sexual desire to be honorable and marry. In addition, husbands and wives are exhorted not to deny each other the pleasure of sex. Hebrews 13:4 demands that marriage be honored and kept pure, devoting one's self exclusively to one's spouse, placing all sexual desire in him/her excluding all others, real or imaginary.
15Drink water from your own cistern,
flowing water from your own well.
16Should your springs be scattered abroad,
streams of water in the streets?
17Let them be for yourself alone,
and not for strangers with you.
18Let your fountain be blessed,
and rejoice in the wife of your youth,
19a lovely deer, a graceful doe.
Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight;
be intoxicated always in her love.
20Why should you be intoxicated, my son, with a forbidden woman
and embrace the bosom of an adulteress?
21For a man's ways are before the eyes of the LORD,
and he ponders all his paths.
22The iniquities of the wicked ensnare him,
and he is held fast in the cords of his sin.
23He dies for lack of discipline,
and because of his great folly he is led astray.
10. God created the body in such a way to give amazing sensations.
11. "We have come together in [God], called by him, creating a family, serving him, he living in both of us, we are now expressing, physically the spiritual truth that he has created--we are no longer two, but one." (Otto Piper)
12. The physical body as well as the soul is good. God does not turn his eyes when a married couple enjoys his gift of sex. "He wants us to run into sex, but to do so with his presence, priorities, and virtues marking our pursuit." (Gary Thomas)
13. Sex is "knowing" someone intimately ... not for lovers, but for companions who wish to share their soul, mind, and body with another for a lifetime. When God created a companion for Adam, he chose to add sex to that relationship. How wonderful! The generosity of God is overwhelming.
Useful books on the subject:
One Flesh by Amerlia and Greg Clarke
Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas