immaturity

Laura links to this article from Boundless.

(I'm busy packing. I leave the US in FIVE days!)

he blesses me in prayer

When you listen to a sermon that exhorts hearers to extend grace to others as grace has been fully given to them, you may nod your head in agreement but your mind is puzzled about how you might actually do that.

A mavelous theory ... a great idea ... but how will I actually extend grace, what does that even mean? what does it look like practically? So you stow it away in a card file of "good ideas" in your brain, but keep on living life as usual.

In a conversation today with a friend, I challenged him to move beyond the "idea" and toward the practical living.

How will you bless and honor the reputation, family, and heart of the woman you love?

One practical way Mike honors and blesses me is through prayer.

This may sound trite. One of those things in your card file ... you know you should do it ... but honestly ... what good could it actually do?

From the beginning of our relationship, Mike would end each of our conversations over skype or the phone with prayer. Take it from a woman whose man leads her spiritually in this manner, I am blessed, encouraged, and proud that Mike leads us before God in prayer as the spritual leader in our relationship.

I began to look forward to that time of prayer together more than anything. It removed the distance between us bringing us together to stand before the throne of God in prayer. God became more than just an honorary member of our relationship but the Cause, Sustainer, Lord, and Fellow-covenanter in our love.

Mike continued this discipline when we were together for two months in Australia. Each evening when we parted ways, Mike led me before the Lord in prayer to bring before Him our hopes, our sin, our love, and our desires.

Knowing that prayer ended our time together deterred a world of sin because we were living our lives before God.

When Mike leads in prayer, I am honored and blessed and respected.

Men, how can you honor the women in your lives?

Women, how can you encourage the men in your life in their spiritual leadership?

(For a fabulous Piper sermon on extending grace, click here.)

the good soldier

was Jesus a bloke?

Mike raises a question that is on many minds. Was Jesus a manly man or a smooth-hand philosopher? Why is such a question relevant?

review of Eldridge's Wild at Heart

Profiling Christian Masculinity ... includes characteristics of the perfect man--Christ.

Jesus in a Pink Dress Overlooking the Grateful Dead

Is Jack Bauer a Type of Christ?

Jesus, Women, and Men

read the discussion on Mike's blog and comment here.

defining leadership

A Blogger friend emailed me the following and I thought it might strike up a good discussion:


Hey Christine,

I was sort of thinking that it might be really helpful for lots of us if you might write a post on your definition of leadership. I think that through your various posts on men taking the leadership role and dating and all this … I’ve never quite figured out what you mean by “lead.” Does that mean “take initiative” or does it mean “move forward intellectually” or … there are a million possibilities, so I guess maybe if we all sort of nailed down what we mean by “leadership” (can you, for instance, be a leader without a group of people who follow you?), the discussion might ratchet up a notch.

My friend Beth and I were discussing it today (a discussion provoked from reading some of your writing) and came up with this: “a leader is one who accepts responsibility to act with integrity and direct others towards a common goal.

Perhaps you might write a post or two on the subject? Just a humble suggestion from someone struggling with the whole thing …

~Chris

you should blog about that

As I jabber on about who knows what kind of topics in "real life" I often get the comment ... "You should blog about that!"

I got a couple of those moments today.

1. Mike and I this morning:

I was going on and on about how one should counsel people in a godly, Bible-based manner ... you know ... Tripp's method of Love, Know, Speak, Do ...

"You should blog about that!"


2. Hangin' with the guys at Cassey and Jiri's (minus the Cassey):

Adam looking closely at my head.

"It's a leaf, Adam."

"Did you mean to put it there?"

"Nah, I was just being goofy."

"But I like it ... doesn't she look like an elf?" At which point all the other Settlers of Catan and DandD nerdos (I mean that in an affectionate way) turned and affirmed that I was indeed quite elvish looking. "Can't you see her with a bow and arrow ... or pulling out a couple of swords!"

(I miss you, Cassey! come back!)

Later, Jiri brought up Mike's post about men leading. And suggested that (from a married bloke's point of view), leading one's wife is more sacrificial than *pound fist on table* "This is how we will do things!" ...

which led to one of the guys bringing up feminism and another guy responding ... "Well if guys would just do ..."

I squirmed.

Jiri: "Christine, what are your thoughts?"

"I think one could go round and round in circles pointing fingers. Men, ought to do what they ought to do. And women ought to do what they ought. Read your own mail. If my husband doesn't show me that he loves me, does that mean I don't have to respect him. If I don't respect him, does that mean that he doesn't have to love me. Peter writes that a woman ought to obey even if her husband does not, with the hope that her obedience with lead the husband to repentance and faith."

to myself: (hmm ... I should blog about that)


3. Late night conversation with Nixter:

Me: And then I pull out a house plant from my bag as I dig around for my mobile (which sounds like an old fashioned telephone ... Brrrrrrrringggg!)

Nixter: Oh, pardon my coat stand ... I love Mary Poppins.

Me: I hate Mary Poppins.

Nixter: Why?

Me: I watched it everyday when I was three years old. Then ten years went by ... I watched it again and was struck by Mary Poppin's arrogance and conceit (Practically Perfect in Every Way ... give me a break!) and THEN ... OH, THEN!!! ... the deceit and lies and mind games that she played on the children! What a happy, joyous time they had together at the park ... and at the end of the day they jumped up and down on the beds in excitement and Mary says ... "It never happened!" Wicked woman! When I was studying art in college, I chose to draw a woman feeding birds as one of my projects. While working on it, people would walk behind me, take a peak, and start singing ... "Feed the birds ... tuppins a bag ... tuppins, tuppins, tuppins a bag" ... CRINGE!!!

Nixter: You should blog about that.

proud, pt. 2

Mike describes his path to leadership.

new rules for church men

I enjoyed reading this post via Rodeo Clown.

What would you add to the list of rules?

Women, should we have a list?

leadership

That's my man!

the divine feeling of being led by a man

Swing dancing has always been one of those things on my list of random things to do to add to my resume ... right alongside kickboxing and learning Icelandic. Sort of a little bag of goodies to bust out to keep things interesting in the future.

"Honey, I didn't know you could [fill in the blank]!"

And I would just give a little look of mischief that conveys ... "There's more to me than you think!"

So when invited to go to a dancing lesson tonight, I jumped at the opportunity ... especially knowing that my friend was as much of a beginner as I was.

As I went from partner to partner, I was asked ... "So, have you done this before?"

"No. Well, unless you count dancing along with a Learn to Swing DVD by myself in the living room ...

Sad ... I know. But you do what you can.

The thing is that I went merely for a good time. I never anticipated that it would be one of the greatest opportunities to observe my theories of male leadership.

The beautiful thing about dancing is that the woman (follower) masters a couple of steps and that's all she has to worry about. The man (leader) has a heavier load to bear ... twist, push, pull, swivel, catch her hand, etc. If the man knows what he wants, is assertive and confident, it makes for one of the most exhilarating experiences a woman has ever experienced. Together, as she follows his gentle leading as he shepherds her across the dance floor, they become one entity.

There were a couple of dancers on the floor that were a thrill to watch ... both were masters of the dance ... but the man was leading ... calling the shots by a mere tug of the hand here ... or a slight twist of the wrist there.

As I went from partner to partner and experienced their different styles of leadership I quickly made mental notes of each man. Two of the fellows were good dancers ... but too ... um ... too much like noodles. One guy didn't know what he wanted which made me feel uncertain of what I was meant to do. But then there were the rare few who made me feel like Ginger Rogers because they knew what they wanted and led me right along with them.

My suggestion: Men, take Swing dance lessons. And no, ... dancing does not lead to sex! (unless you're married and you want to). Women long for the type of leadership from men experienced on the dance floor. If you apply the lessons of the dance to life, it will leave the women longing for you to ask them to dance again.

love and fear

While reading Fearlessly Feminine, I came across this verse:

1 John 4:18
There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.

What does it mean? How does this look? How is it lived out?

Also, I can't agree with Mark Driscoll more. Most women have become feminists because men are not doing their duty. True ... true ... although, I champion male leadership, there are times when I sink into feminism when I have to deal with cowardly men. Driscoll picks at Christian men, specifically. (It could also be said that men are not doing their duty because women have become feminists.) Just STOP it, both sides! Listen to Driscoll's sermon "A Devoted Dad" on John 4 here.

UPDATE: My friend, Jiri, made me aware of this article. How could you Australian women hold out on me?!! I didn't tear the chapter out because Ecclesiasters chapter 1 began on the other side ... I just strategically placed blank mailing labels over it.

what men want ...

1. she's hot

2. she enjoys laughing and knows how to make me laugh

3. she is my ally and support when i feel helpless

4. she is ministry-focused ... in her family, personal life, and community

5. she

get ready for this ...

"completes me"

rofl!!!

hash it out for yourselves ... this is sort of a collaborative experiment ...

Mike thinks he knows what women want ...

I think I know what men want.

We want to see if we're right.

participate and change

"A boy looks on and observes the world. A man participates and brings about change."

quote courtesy of the Borg

men, oh, men, LEAD

Carolyn McCulley recording Josh Harris' last session at the New Attitude Conference here in the 'Ville.

"Men, oh, men, LEAD. Lead in godly conversation and fellowship," he said. "You don't need somebody to come along and give you a title like Family Group leader for you to lead...You know what? You are going to do a bad job. That's okay, just keep practicing. Ladies, encourage them. Be patient to them, be a sister to them. Root them on. Look at your brothers not as what they are. [Laughter] Look at them at what they can by the grace of God and support them. [Applause.] I am so grateful that my wife does not look at me as what I am!"