he blesses me in prayer

When you listen to a sermon that exhorts hearers to extend grace to others as grace has been fully given to them, you may nod your head in agreement but your mind is puzzled about how you might actually do that.

A mavelous theory ... a great idea ... but how will I actually extend grace, what does that even mean? what does it look like practically? So you stow it away in a card file of "good ideas" in your brain, but keep on living life as usual.

In a conversation today with a friend, I challenged him to move beyond the "idea" and toward the practical living.

How will you bless and honor the reputation, family, and heart of the woman you love?

One practical way Mike honors and blesses me is through prayer.

This may sound trite. One of those things in your card file ... you know you should do it ... but honestly ... what good could it actually do?

From the beginning of our relationship, Mike would end each of our conversations over skype or the phone with prayer. Take it from a woman whose man leads her spiritually in this manner, I am blessed, encouraged, and proud that Mike leads us before God in prayer as the spritual leader in our relationship.

I began to look forward to that time of prayer together more than anything. It removed the distance between us bringing us together to stand before the throne of God in prayer. God became more than just an honorary member of our relationship but the Cause, Sustainer, Lord, and Fellow-covenanter in our love.

Mike continued this discipline when we were together for two months in Australia. Each evening when we parted ways, Mike led me before the Lord in prayer to bring before Him our hopes, our sin, our love, and our desires.

Knowing that prayer ended our time together deterred a world of sin because we were living our lives before God.

When Mike leads in prayer, I am honored and blessed and respected.

Men, how can you honor the women in your lives?

Women, how can you encourage the men in your life in their spiritual leadership?

(For a fabulous Piper sermon on extending grace, click here.)

it's practical ... not theoretical

Churches that strive to be missional in their community engage the surrounding culture and yet offer their neighbors a radical alternative community focused on the gospel of Jesus Christ. In his article, “Missional, Theological Church Planting”, Ed Stetzer describes a church dedicated to God’s mission as, “God at work in the world, touching hearts and lives, our participation with Him seeing men and women converted, their lives changed by the power of the Gospel, and establishing New Testament congregations.” Christians can do their individual part in God’s mission by displaying Christ through that radical alternative lifestyle in three circles: marriage, family, and community.

Christians are called to be salt and light in this world, offering the culture we are called to live and minister in a view of the truth of the gospel. Christ commands his disciples to, “let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven” (Matthew 5:16). Ephesians 5 describes the mystery of marriage, revealing that it is, in fact, a representation of Christ and the Church. Those in the covenant of a Christian marriage are to convey to the world a marvelous picture of Christ’s covenant with his people that is unlike any other living example available.

John Piper, in his sermon “Marriage: God’s Showcase of Covenant-Keeping Grace”, describes Christian marriage as a unique display of God in that it involves two people in an intimate life-long covenant. “[I]n marriage you live hour by hour in glad dependence on God’s forgiveness and justification and promised future grace, and you bend it out toward your spouse hour by hour—as an extension of God’s forgiveness and justification and promised help.” Not only are Christian couples displaying Christ to each other, but the radical difference in their covenant relationship ought to affect all those who encounter them, observing their light and glorifying God. He chose to use the institution of marriage to reveal to the world his gospel message.

Is this concept yet another example of a theologian commentating on a vague biblical truth that is easier said than understood ... much less done? How exactly, does one live the gospel before one's spouse ... or others, for that matter ... especially knowing that each spouse is a sinner. Ah, but a sinner saved by grace! It is easy to use theological words but do you truly understand grace unless you experience and live it? How can you show grace to your spouse? When she disappoints you, will you condemn her? Or will you show her the "longsuffering" and forgiveness that Christ has shown you. When he fears he has let you down and does not think he deserves your forgiveness, will you show him the undeserved unconditional love that God extends toward you?

This is practical theology, folks. This is meant to be normal Christianity of the Sermon on the Mount sort ... not super-Christian ideology ... but everyday Christian gospel living.

In addition to the marriage covenant, Christians have a responsibility to the next generation of believers. When God blesses a Christian couple with children, they have the awesome responsibility of evangelizing, discipling, and training their children to become godly leaders. Just as Adam and Eve were called to image God to the world, so are Christian parents called to image God to their children. Fathers and mothers exemplify God as they love, discipline, and train their children. Doreen Moore in her article “Jonathan Edwards: Ministry and the Life of the Family” [which I strongly recommend that you read] depicts Edwards as an exemplary father and minister of the gospel, whose “chief anxiety” was the salvation of his children’s souls. Those who do not have children need not necessarily neglect representing Christ to the next generation. They may do so among the young people in their church community and beyond.

Marriage and family are unique pictures of the gospel because they are the most intimate of relationships lasting for a lifetime (particularly the husband-wife union of one-flesh). However, Christians, whether they be married or single are called to extend God’s grace to all. Colossians chapters two and three exhort Christians to remember what Christ has done and to extend that grace to others, including those within the church and the community. Not only are unbelievers watching the family relationships of Christians but they are also observing the interaction of the saints with each other and toward others. This new life that Christ offers is radical and when Christians live it out before others they provide a visual of the gospel in action. The world observes “compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another, … forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, … love, … the peace of Christ, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, … giving thanks” (Colossians 3:12b-17) when Christians understand their responsibility and joy to represent Christ to each other and the world.

Whether God calls an individual or family to live for the rest of their lives next door to the house they were born in or relocates them across the world, Christians are called to represent him wherever their location. The gospel transcends cultures. It is not bound by borders. Thus, citizens of the Kingdom of God across the globe can impact whatever culture they find themselves in by living this extraordinary lifestyle prescribed in the Sermon on the Mount, Colossians, and the entire Scriptures. Whatever their situation, they may contextualize the manner in which they live and share the gospel of Jesus Christ as they take part in God’s mission; however, these three areas of marriage, family, and community are key to living out the mission God has planned for his people regardless of their place or position of service.

dear God, please tell him he's wrong so i don't have to

Miss Halfway is a new blogger from Argentina. I love her deep questions about life. This is her latest post (click here). Below is my response.


i think you and i are a bit alike in this. i will often keep from telling someone that they have hurt me or disappointed me ... perhaps it's because, like you, i hate to bring them grief ... or maybe i avoid confrontation at all cost ... or maybe it's my pride.

but in the past year i have not confronted people for another reason. whenever i am hurt or disappointed, instead of focusing on the wrong that has been done to me, i have learned to pray.

eh .. this isn't some sort of "Dear God, please help me not to be angry and please forgive him" prayer.

it's much more than that.

i am afraid of my anger. afraid of its ugliness. it is only with God's help that i can turn my eyes away from my anger at another person and look at my own filthiness. no, it's not that i am self-depricating ... it's more being realistic. how dare I judge someone when I myself have done more than my share of wrong!

it is only when I am fully aware of my own wrongdoing and have, through God's help, changed that I can help others see their wrong and change, as well. otherwise, I fear my reaction to my hurt may do just as much hurt (or more) than was done to me.

the answer is DEFINITELY not to think that all you need is more self-confidence. we all know that the self-esteem movement has done little but create a generation of self-righteous egomaniacs.

no. i think humility is the answer here.

ha ha ... talk about remembering sunday school ... remember this?

Matthew 7:1-5

i like your grandmother.

sexuality redeemed

Click here for Mike's advice for men (AND women) who struggle with the temptations of pornography.

I would like to add to his list by saying that I find it beneficial to develop a redeemed perspective of sexuality.

1. Begin by viewing men and women as individuals who bear God's image, thus deserving respect for their person, body and soul.

2. Put away the guilt-invoking fear of sex that you harbor because the church's efforts to keep you sexually pure have also caused you to equate sex with sin.

3. Understand God's purpose in the gift of sex as being wonderful and pure, knowing that you can share yourself fully with your spouse in love.

4. Sexual intimacy is not meant to gratify self ... nor is it more holy to put aside one's own pleasure to only please the spouse. Intimacy is meant to be enjoyed by both husband and wife as they serve each other in love and become one flesh.

5. Sex is not a flippant joke. It's solemn importance lies in that it is a creation of God. However, this does not mean that to discuss sex is taboo. Single women ought to feel free to discuss questions and seek the advice of married women in regards to the joys of sex and/or temptations. Pray together and rejoice together.

6. There is no shame in sex between a man and his wife. Instead, one would do well to give thanks to God after enjoying each other's bodies.

7. God, the Creator, enables man and woman to experience the joy of creation through the act of sex to bring about new generations. There is not fullproof contraception. With sex comes the possibility of new life. May husbands and wives always find delight in the news of a new life brought about by their act of love.

8. The human body is wonderful as God created it, to be enjoyed by one's spouse. Solomon's Song of love, romance, and sexuality reveals God's condoning of sexual pleasure.

9. Selfishness, unfaithfulness, and lack of control seek to destroy the wonder of this "one flesh". 1 Corinthians 7 urges those with sexual desire to be honorable and marry. In addition, husbands and wives are exhorted not to deny each other the pleasure of sex. Hebrews 13:4 demands that marriage be honored and kept pure, devoting one's self exclusively to one's spouse, placing all sexual desire in him/her excluding all others, real or imaginary.

Proverbs 5:15-23
15Drink water from your own cistern,
flowing water from your own well.
16Should your springs be scattered abroad,
streams of water in the streets?
17Let them be for yourself alone,
and not for strangers with you.
18Let your fountain be blessed,
and rejoice in the wife of your youth,
19a lovely deer, a graceful doe.
Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight;
be intoxicated always in her love.
20Why should you be intoxicated, my son, with a forbidden woman
and embrace the bosom of an adulteress?
21For a man's ways are before the eyes of the LORD,
and he ponders all his paths.
22The iniquities of the wicked ensnare him,
and he is held fast in the cords of his sin.
23He dies for lack of discipline,
and because of his great folly he is led astray.

10. God created the body in such a way to give amazing sensations.

11. "We have come together in [God], called by him, creating a family, serving him, he living in both of us, we are now expressing, physically the spiritual truth that he has created--we are no longer two, but one." (Otto Piper)

12. The physical body as well as the soul is good. God does not turn his eyes when a married couple enjoys his gift of sex. "He wants us to run into sex, but to do so with his presence, priorities, and virtues marking our pursuit." (Gary Thomas)

13. Sex is "knowing" someone intimately ... not for lovers, but for companions who wish to share their soul, mind, and body with another for a lifetime. When God created a companion for Adam, he chose to add sex to that relationship. How wonderful! The generosity of God is overwhelming.

Useful books on the subject:

One Flesh by Amerlia and Greg Clarke
and
Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas

30 day challenge

I have long been looking for resources which enable women to creatively encourage the men in their lives (whether it be family, husbands, or brothers-in-the-Lord). Nancy Leigh DeMoss has an excellent 30 Day Husband Encouragement Challenge.

(scroll down to printable downloads ... also I recommend perusing her other resources and listening to her podcasts.)

DeMoss is a faithful expositor of God's Word with the practicality that reaches the hearts, minds, and wills of women. She inspires me in my own path of ministry.

(Will you accept the 30 Day Challenge with me?)

read twice and call me in the morning

Mike and I have been discussing the importance of rest for ministers of the gospel. Today I was reminded of a post written by Mark Driscoll, pastor of Mars Hill in Seattle, in which he lists some excellent tips on how not to have your death certificate read "Death by Ministry".

Dear Mark, My boyfriend and I ...

I think Mark writes more about having a godly relationship than I do.

calling him "master"

1 Peter 3:5-6
5 For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their husbands, 6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.

Sarah called Abraham "lord" (sometimes translated "master"). Should wives today follow Sarah's example in calling their husbands "lord"? What does this title mean to a woman? For Sarah, it was a sign of her submission. To comply to her husband's wishes, to please her mate, to encourage him, to yield to his preferences--some modern women might be willing to sign their names on the dotted line to the above. However, to call him "lord"? What does that imply?

To me, it implies trust. Trust that he will not misuse the power found in the title "master". Trust that his care for her will be motivated by love and self-denial. Trust in the wisdom God has given him to lead her in godly directions.

I would love to call my husband one day "master" or "lord", but ... to be honest ... it scares me. I imagine that it would scare him, as well, to bear the responsibility of that title.

By God's grace ...

[note: i am not suggesting that wives ought to do this as though it were a command in Scripture. Sarah used this title as a gesture of submission and trust in her husband, a gesture that shows to the world her love and confidence in her mate. One could call her husband "lord" or perhaps show that same respect in another fashion that bears just as much weight in our culture today.]

how you handle conflict

Drs. Bill Maier and Julianna Slattery suggest in the recent Focus on the Family broadcast "Thriving in the First Five Years of Marriage" that it is not common interests, goals, or passions that make and keep a healthy marriage. Instead, according to research, statistics show that it is how each person handles conflict that makes for a successful marriage.

UPDATE: OOPS! Wrong linkage. Here are the correct links the broadcast my mum and I were discussing. "Making the Tough Times Count" with speaker and author Florence Littauer.

DOUBLE OPPS: click here and scroll down to October 2nd and 3rd for the talks titled “Marriage Survival Skills 101" parts 1 and 2 featuring Gary Smalley and Scott Stanley. THESE are the correct talks ... although I'm sure the others are beneficial, too.

h/t my mum

the problem

The problem is not the problem. The problem is often how one responds to the problem. If one doesn't respond correctly, she will experience a similar situation again and again until she has learned the lesson the Holy Spirit is teaching her.

crazy fun date ideas

Hat tip to Rodeo Clown for sending us this link for date ideas. I forwarded it to my parents and they are trying out number 16 tonight.

Would you add any to the list?

the games we play

Is a woman making herself attractive a way of visually tempting her own husband? Is it manipulation? Or is it a way of expressing her love? Well, gentlemen?

Or ... is it manipulating the way many women set rules of play on their relationships? I will only do this, if you treat me like that. We can do this, but that is out of the question. We string them along expecting them to jump through hoops. Changing the rules of play at each twist and turn.

We try to live out a fairytale in our minds in which a knight slays some random dragon or climbs some impossible height for us so that he can *prove* his love ... and then we pout, "But you didn't bring me any flowers back!" We always have them guessing ... a way of exerting power over them ... and then wail our eyes out when they fail to understand our cryptic code.

Wake up! In a relationship there are TWO people involved. ... no SCRATCH THAT ... three, if Jesus Christ is to be the center of your love. It's give and take, ladies and gentleman ... learn to speak the language the other person needs in order to feel loved. Learn to communicate how you desire your significant other to relate to you in a loving manner. Be specific. If your man needs to hear the words, "I love you" but to you that seems like it's not enough. Say it anyway. Express that one statement in a multitude of ways so that he can hear and be affirmed in your love. It is the language he understands. Stop playing games. Communicate and don't hide the answer key.

it's not about good looks ... it's about the *effort*

Due to the suggestion of a fellow blogger with a similar name to my own (Christina), I decided to share some brief snippits from the section of Shaunti Feldhahn's For Women Only (the Bible study) about the visual nature of men. Quotes pulled from pages 124-129.

"We think that if God does not look on the outward appearance, then neither should our husbands, right? The truth is that because we know 'It's what's inside that counts,' we can easily migrate to the idea that what is outside doesn't matter. It does."

"... 70 percent of men indicated they would be emotionally bothered if their wives let themselves go and didn't seem to want to make the effort to do something about it."

"... ignoring that truth, our men--even godly men who are devoted to us--end up feeling disregarded, disrespected, and hurt."

"Somehow I assumed that if I was out of shape, I was the only person who was negatively affected!"

"If she doesn't take care of herself, dresses sloppily around me all the time, never exercises, and has no energy to go out and do things together, I feel like she's choosing not to do something that she should know is important to me. ... But really, I just want to see that my wife cares enough about me to make an effort."

"Seeing us make the effort to look good makes them feel loved and cared for. It matters to them in the same way it matters to us when we notice our husbands making an effort to do things that make us feel loved--especially those things that are difficult or don't come naturally. If our husband truly puts effort and thought into a romantic event, do you really mind if it's not perfect? Of course not. You feel loved and cared for."

"In a way, this issue for men is like romance for us. Maybe it shouldn't matter whether our husbands ever put one jot of effort into romancing us, but it does. We love him regardless; yet, we still feel that empty wistfulness for what could be."

"'We need to see that you care about keeping our attention on you--and off of other women.'"

Esther 1:11
"To bring Vashti the queen before the king with the crown royal, to shew the people and the princes her beauty: for she [was] fair to look on."

"A man's wife is an extension of himself, just as he is an extension of his wife. Most men know that the appearance of their wives complements them in the presence of other men."

"The way you dress and carry yourself speaks volumes about both you and your husband. You may not like the idea that others are judging your husband on your appearance, but according to the men I spoke with, it happens often."

(Understand that weight or "natural good looks" [whatever *that* is] is beside the point. It's not a 20 year old pin-up girl they're after. However, a man wants a wife who *makes the effort* to be healthy, take care of herself, dress for him, and be confident and comfortable in who she is. This makes him feel cherished and respected. True, I'm not married. Perhaps, I have no place in writing about this so passionately in recent posts. However, I have eyes ... and I have ears. And my own observations have only been confirmed by the hundreds of men [many of whom were regular church-goers] Feldhahn interviewed. Men struggle with visual temptations on a daily basis. Let us aid our brothers and husbands to fight this temptaion by dressing modestly and for our husbands make the effort so that they only have eyes for us.)

where does body hair come in?

Mike helped me think through my position this evening. I started out with the presupposition that my readers would assume my view of inner beauty. I affirm what Scripture says ... especially to women ... concerning developing one's character into a beautiful sacrifice to God.

When I realized that my mention of why I (personally) wear make-up struck up controversy, I was confused.

"Surely, inner beauty is a given in this conversation!!"

But as points of view began to be fleshed out I saw more and more that everyone agreed with each other concerning the big picture and what is ultimately important.

The reason I did not start off with a soap box post about women glorifying God in their inner beauty and casting off the shakles of cultural mandates was because I have heard it again and again and again ... and I agree with it. But I decided to bring up a side issue.

Perhaps I should have started off:

"Alright, ladies, we all agree about what needs to be done to develop inner beauty, right? Now, how does the Christian woman approach the issue of the outer appearance? This is difficult to address because there are far more passages in Scripture that address the issue of inner beauty; thus, indicating it's priority in the Christian life. However, let's explore the proper Christian response to this topic of physical appearance."

The physical is a side issue that many in Evangelical circles choose to ignore (oh, besides the whole dress modestly bit). And I believe that it is essentially due to a reaction to the world. The world focuses on the body, believing from a secular worldview that the body is the sum of man, nothing more, nothing less. Evangelicals react to this by placing heavy emphasis on the spirit.

But is man not both body and spirit? We are dichotomists. Not merely body and not merely spirit.

1 Corinthians 6 and 7 approach the issue of glorifying God in one's body. Indeed, much of the passage involves sexual relations. However, the broader issue of the body is addressed. A wife's body is not her own. A husband's body is not his own. They honor one another in their bodies. Is this confined to sexual relations? ... or can the interpretation be broadened to pleasing and honoring one's husband by dressing in a manner that he appreciates?

Hmm, just a question I'm throwing out there. What do you think?

beauty does not equate godliness ... but neither does plain-ness

I'm not disagreeing with any of you who are commenting that inward beauty is of the utmost importance in comparison to outward beauty.

Proverbs 11:22 compares a physically beautiful woman who is not discrete with a pig adorned with a gold ring in his snout. No amount of makeup or beautiful clothing can mask an unattractive heart.

My roommate in college was the posterchild of the campus. Gorgeous. Before I met her I knew her name and overheard many conversations where guys were talking about her. I too was swept away by her beauty and smile. But when we had lived together for a couple of months, that outer beauty was quickly transformed when her true heart was displayed. I was repulsed by her selfishness and her pride and her disregard for others. Her physical appearance was actually transformed by her heart's motivations.

I love being feminine. I love wearing skirts and dresses. I love experimenting with different ways of doing my hair. But should my heart not be right with God all of that is for nothing. Pure vanity!

So, you see? I agree with you.

However, as with many of my other posts that have sparked disagreement, I only brought up one side of the issue. Women are so often exhorted in the church to enhance their inner beauty. Do you really need another parrot to tell you the same? Sometimes I think the intensity with which this message is preached is rather reactionary to such issues as anorexia/bolemia, obesity, immodest dress and appearance, causing opinions to be swayed to the other extreme with equating plain/bland appearance with godliness.

Isn't that the same?

Both are trying to draw attention to themselves by their outward appearance one with enhancing it, the other by disregarding it. 2 extremes. Similar motives.

I am merely attempting to bring up a little discussed issue and commenting that indeed the condition of the heart and one's character is of primary importance, but that doesn't negate one's taking pleasure in creating/enhancing physical beauty.

God is the author of beauty in so many different forms, both physical and spiritual. He himself is beautiful. Artists, made in the image of God, get a thrill from copying the Master Artist or from creating their own beauty. A tree in the middle of a meadow is beautiful, especially as the mist of the evening rolls in. Would you tisk-tisk if someone came along to enhance that beauty by hanging a multitude of candle-lit lanterns from it's branches? "Shameful. God created that tree beautiful just how it is. Shame on you for attempting to add to it."

No, that's silly.

Beauty is good. Like Seumas commented on Dani's blog, the goodness of beauty does not make it moral.

Some churches decide against adorning their building in guilded sculpture and choose instead to maintain a humble appearance. Is the stainglass church better than the other because it is "more" beautiful? That's obsurd. But if that "plain" building houses a group of people who are spiritually dead and full of pride and hypocrisy, it is not better than a sepulchre. However, as one enters a cathedral and the regal pillars and arches draws one's eyes upward to the sparkling, coloured glass, one might find himself giving glory to God the Author of all things beautiful. The congregation may be as spiritually dead as the other, but that doesn't keep one from praising God. That beautiful woman walking down the street may be an atheist, however, one can still appreciate her beauty.

I desire to bless Michael with my appearance (sigh ... and just to be sure i'm not misunderstood ... AND a kind, gentle spirit). The other evening I dressed up, put on a strand of pearls, straightened my hair, and put on a bit of make-up. His appreciation could not be masked. And I took delight in having pleased the man I love in this way. (And for your information we also read Scripture together and prayed).

I feel odd having to justify myself in this ... or tacking on further explanation. human responsibility ... BUT also sovereignty of God. wife respecting ... BUT also husband loving. outer beauty ... BUT also inward beauty. make-up ... BUT also prayer.

I have a feeling Craig's going to tell me that I don't have to always justify myself on my blog. I suppose I need to remember that few of you actually even know me, so I'm scrambling here to be sure you know that I understand the value in a beautiful spirit. But honestly I'm a bit afraid I'm going to get a comment like, "What? You like wearing dresses?!! Are you saying trousers can't be feminine?!"

(cringe)

happy dance

Read this and find out why Mark is my new friend! I enjoy it when people think through these sort of things.

Ooo ... which reminds me ... I need to get a copy of an article from Jiri about men and their desire to be needed! Good stuff!

advice and encouragement from a college friend

I hope it all works out for you guys. You have been a very upstanding woman and a good role model for other ladies, I would like to say you deserve that but we both know WE don't deserve anything. I do pray that the Lord will reward your journey with an added body who has the same convictions as you, the same desires as you and wants God's will in their lives. I really do pray it works.

Long distance is very hard, but very very very rewarding. If you guys commit like you said you have, you will never regret the hard times that will come. [He and his new wife had a long distance relationship.] We would see each other once every other month if we were lucky, it was actually more once every three months. It isn't quite the same as yours but the fact still holds true, we didn't get to see each other like the conventional dating relationship.

The best part of a long distance relationship is you get to fall in love with the person, not their habits, or their weird ways of doing things, or even the looks (although attraction is must, but that changes as you get to know someone). It is their heart, their soul, and their mind...the same things that never really leave us as we go though life. As long as we walk this earth we will have those three things. Which makes it graet thing to base your relationship on.

One thing I learned was communication is vital. Telephone was a hard way for me to communicate though, but it was vital for her and she was important to me so I learned it, and have never regretted it. Another thing I have learned is to sacrifice daily. I had to give up alot of things in preparing for this realtionship, (ex: time) it to was very important in our relationship. The whole desire of good relationship and hopefully marriage is to become more Christ like and personal sacrifice, which is not a bad thing but a very rewarding thing.

I know I am telling you things you already know, but let me finish with the biggest problems you will face.....yourselves.

First off, people dont support what they can't understand and distance relationship that is based on respect and that is God honoring is one of those things. Alot of people will down it and continually get on your case about it. DON'T give them the listening ear, only those with genuine concerns, no matter how strong you are a continual beating of this will have effects.

As the reltionship, Lord willing, develops be sure to communicate things that are troubling you, what will happen is that if they are not, it hamper your communication causing something that can easy be fixed into something that causes greater damage.

Finally if you truly commit be ready for that commitment to be tested. God-honoring realtionships is something Satan and his cronies want to destroy, because of what it represents. Long distance opens a slew of oppurtunities for them to mess with. Sometimes the commitment is one of the few things to get you though that obstical, don't waver on that.

I read Mike's blog ... some guy saying how it didn't work when they saw each other, that may of happened but it is no wise anything that should be given as wisdom to you two. [He met his wife in college but at the time they were both very different people in looks and personality. When they finally met again it was wonderful ... lilke the final chapter of a suspense novel. Yes ... she was hot ... but he says that by then in was mostly that which glowed from the inside that had won his affection.]

Sorry to be long, but I hope you see it as an encouragement. I wouldn't trade one obstacle, one problem, for anything. Does long distance work for everybdy....no. But those who choose to make it work....it is the greatest thing ever.

May God bless you two on your endevor.

the fellowship of women

The number of newly wed women who think that their husbands are their bestfriends and they do not need anyone else concerns me. I have seen many beautiful buds of beauty, wilt away without the nourishment of fellowship with females. Even in the realm of Singles ... be sure to cultivate friendships with other women, even if you are dating.